u/Impressive_Pair1749

I am a 16 year old girl, I have social anxiety and GAD and have never had any romantic relationships. I have tried to talk to boys on snapchat as that's how everyone seems to find boyfriends these days but that's so odd to me.

In my old high school, I had a really bad experience with boys. The boys in my class kind of bullied me and just none of the boys liked me. And because of this, every time I interact with a boy, I'm so anxious and scared in comparison to girls. I just don't know what to say, I feel awkward, and I'm very used to the dynamics of my old school.

I also feel like no one would ever like me. If a boy pursued me romantically I would instantly think it's an evil prank to make a fool of me. I also have never had a crush on anyone though, except in primary school.

I was completely fine in primary school and had male friendships and could talk to them completely fine. I was also super confident in primary school though, whereas high school I did change drastically and my anxiety worsened and I think it has damaged me permanently.

The thing is one of my best friends is a boy. I'd say I'm almost closer to him than most of my female best friends. He's not the usual boy though, all his friends are female and he's not strictly straight (he doesn't label it so I won't lol but he dates women and men). But apart from that, I'm so uncomfortable with boys. I have a best friend who lives in another state and I've hung out with her 2 ex boyfriends before and boys who are friends and it was fine.

But I also can barely interact with my boy cousins and god brothers. I feel so weird! I used to be so outgoing and fine and had normal relationships with them where I could argue with them or joke with them, but now I'm just silent. I really hate how social anxiety has controlled my life and probably impacted the way I form relationships for the rest of my life.

This year at my new school I've made progress with a friend's boyfriend who I have been able to talk to freely without feeling judged, but I wouldn't consider him a proper friend. But I'm unsure because obviously he's my close friend's boyfriend so I'm not going to text him and hang out with him like I would female friends iykwim.

I'm attracted to boys and develop major obsessions/crushes on celebrity crushes and have had instances where I deeply crave the idea of having a boyfriend but I just cannot pursue it. I think it may also relate to my friendship situation. I RARELY leave my house, at my old school I didn't have solid close friends and I think that may have impacted it but I'm not sure. I don't think I'm very experienced in the world I guess. Like if I had had a different high school experience and gone to parties and hung out with a friend group, a boyfriend is something I could have achieved.

I just feel abnormal and weird. But I don't want to pursue something that isn't the best fit for me right now. I'm constantly busy with schoolwork and feel like I wouldn't have the time or energy to put into a relationship. I've never even had a job before and struggle with putting my time into achieving that. Does anyone relate to this experience?

If anyone else has been on Vyvanse and sertraline/zoloft for anxiety or even mild depression I’d love to hear people’s experiences on what it was like for them!

I have been on vyvanse for almost 4 years now, 40mg. I also have GAD and social anxiety and my doctor has said that sertraline is an option but it’s ultimately up to me and I have no idea.

I’m quite nervous regarding medication, vyvanse is easy because I can take it sporadically whereas SSRIs are consistent and can cause withdrawals if you drop them suddenly. So I’m a bit nervous!

I just want to feel less stressed and anxious all the time. My main issues are time pressure, like the constant fear that I’m running out of time and I always get anxious at the end of the day. And I struggle bad with perfectionism, like I have had a number of instances with anxiety attacks in school tests and break downs at night which affects my sleep.

On top of that, I get somewhat frequent intrusive thoughts and anxiety loops that can sometimes disrupt me when I’m at school or trying to talk to people, and I was also looking to see if anyone had any experience with SSRIs helping with intrusive thoughts!

I’m also rather nervous regarding side effects such as heat intolerance, heart rate effects, emotional numbness, and whatnot. I have POTS and vyvanse already makes my heart rate quite high (or maybe I can just only notice it when I take my vyvanse), and I can often physically see it beating out of my chest very fast. I also see people say SSRIs make you feel emotionless, and I would really hate that. I just hate the idea of it changing who I am as a person, not being in control of who I am, etc. I struggle a bit with feeling fake and don’t want to feel like I’m not authentic and like I won’t be able to control how I feel.