Hi all. I (34F) am going through a weird season. I met this guy (35M) online over a year ago. We really hit it off. There was so much chemistry and attraction. It unfortunately didnt work out. We just had too many disagreements which ultimately turned him off. However I loved talking to him so much as he keeps me so intrigued, he's smart, funny and can totally chat with me nonstop. I wanted to remain friends and so we did.
During the entire friendship for the past year I did a lot of things that would get him irritated with me but we just still stayed connected. At one point he said he was obsessed with me and thought about me all day but would still making comments that he was sure he didn't want to date me. I honestly kept getting mixed signals because he would still flirt, offer to hang out, go on dinners, spend the night and even offered to sleep with me which none ever happened because I would piss him off and he would distance himself or never follow through. Then he wanted me to be driving to him which he lives far and I totally would have if he had put in more effort to come see me at least a few times. Otherwise i felt masculine doing all the work. He also briefly spoke to me about moving in with him and that's after saying he didnt want to date me. Idk if he was joking or not.
A couple months ago in February we started making plans to hang out again and do cute stuff together and then he ghosts me. I reached out recently (mid April) and he tells me he's off the market and in a relationship now. I was totally thrown off. I felt confused and kind of played. It makes sense why he ghosted me now. I suggested we probably shouldn't talk or communicate as he was in a relationship and we probably needed to set boundaries. He said "okay". I later responded saying idk if I was overreacting which is when he said "we don't need to cut off communication," that we just shouldn't "hang out in person". Don't know why he would still talk to me over text but not meet me in person. We've had some discussions since then but he's hot and cold. Idk what to make of this and his behavior/actions.
I guess during the entire time we were friends I was trying to work on myself and become a woman he would want to date because he's definitely the kind of man I would marry. Then this happened and Im feeling so confused and mind f*cked. I really dont know what to make out of all this. I feel hurt and like im grieving a loss which is so stupid. I think I've lost him forever.
TL;DR: is he keeping the communication lines open in case it doesn't work out?