u/ImprovementMotor1092

Im 28 years old ,I have been gambling since past 5 years lost everything i ever owned and since past year i have relapse 7 times and my family has always helped me pay off that debt which does not including the ongoing debt i have on me which never ends as i keep on gambling that. I have been earning a good salary since past 5 years i just get $10-20 in my bank account living with my parents and the worst part is im tired of lying to them last time my brother started crying when i told him i took another credit of $3000 and lost it all and i need to repay it within 45 days he started crying and slapped me atleast 10 times and it didnt hurt a single time, i literaly had a red hand mark on my cheeks. Last night i relapsed and reached where i was earlier which is losing that 3k again he repaid. He said if i do this again i should just leave the house without taking anything from the house and just go somewhere no one will question me. I feel like a shitty person who is just selfish only thinks about himself. My brother is about to get married in november he is already in so much stress. He has $15,000 debt on him just because of me and my mum has $7000 because of me and i if i talk about myself i have $9000 debt on me right now. I dont know what to do i feel like just leaving the house going near a river and just jump inside it would end all the pain at once. PLEASE HELP ME. I dont know what to do i dont know how i will ever be able to face my family again after what i just did, he asked me to swear on our mum that i will never do this again but i did, i did and all this because i wanted to buy a damn graphics card and had no money to buy and it was needed for my work and i was so scared to tell my family that i sold it to pay the debt for gamble. I have destroyed my whole teens and now i continue to make everyone else's life miserable everyday. My family doesnt deserve this they havent done anything wrong to deserve this.

I DONT SEE A WAY OUT OF THIS NOW PLEASE HELP ME!!

Im 28 years old ,I have been gambling since past 5 years lost everything i ever owned and since past year i have relapse 7 times and my family has always helped me pay off that debt which does not including the ongoing debt i have on me which never ends as i keep on gambling that. I have been earning a good salary since past 5 years i just get $10-20 in my bank account living with my parents and the worst part is im tired of lying to them last time my brother started crying when i told him i took another credit of $3000 and lost it all and i need to repay it within 45 days he started crying and slapped me atleast 10 times and it didnt hurt a single time, i literaly had a red hand mark on my cheeks. Last night i relapsed and reached where i was earlier which is losing that 3k again he repaid. He said if i do this again i should just leave the house without taking anything from the house and just go somewhere no one will question me. I feel like a shitty person who is just selfish only thinks about himself. My brother is about to get married in november he is already in so much stress. He has $15,000 debt on him just because of me and my mum has $7000 because of me and i if i talk about myself i have $9000 debt on me right now. I dont know what to do i feel like just leaving the house going near a river and just jump inside it would end all the pain at once. PLEASE HELP ME. I dont know what to do i dont know how i will ever be able to face my family again after what i just did, he asked me to swear on our mum that i will never do this again but i did, i did and all this because i wanted to buy a damn graphics card and had no money to buy and it was needed for my work and i was so scared to tell my family that i sold it to pay the debt for gamble. I have destroyed my whole teens and now i continue to make everyone else's life miserable everyday. My family doesnt deserve this they havent done anything wrong to deserve this.

I DONT SEE A WAY OUT OF THIS NOW PLEASE HELP ME!!