u/Imrealboard

I was just wondering if anyone else’s deconstruction of faith from Christianity is similar to mine. I haven’t seen any similar posts and ig I want to feel less alone since I’m the only one in my family who has deconstructed. For reference I now consider myself Agnostic.

Instead of having a realization that Christianity is not what I wanted to follow and that I no longer believe in it, my deconstruction happened slowly without any conscious effort. When I was little I prayed all the time and attended church weekly with Bible school, I was dedicated. Around the age of 15 I just slowly started to pray less and less and by the time university came around I was too busy to attend church. Then whenever a Christian was making a Bible talking point I would think about the cognitive dissonance they were displaying and how if god is all knowing he can’t be all good or vice versa. At that point I still didn’t really question the church and considered myself Christian. Around Junior year my family pushed me to get confirmed to a church and it was then that I was like *huh* I don’t believe in that god and I haven’t for a while. It happened without me knowing and I can’t even pinpoint the time that I stopped believing in god. I didn’t even know that could happen, all the non Christian’s I have talked to had an ironically “come to Jesus moment”.

I just wanted to see if anyone has a similar experience so I don’t feel so odd and a bit alone about it.

So I have been Childfree my whole life; as young at 6 I was telling people I was going to adopt because I was horrified by pregnancy and did not realize you could just not have children. I switched my tune from adoption to Childfree at 14 when I found out having kids wasn’t mandatory.

My whole family is aware of this and yet yesterday when I was talking to my grandmother she was lecturing me on how I HAVE to adopt a male child and my life would not be complete without one.

Mind you she said adopt because last year at the age of 21 I had a total hysterectomy, which completely closes the door on me giving birth to a child. I have said over and over again children are not a priority or in the plans and have shown them with physical actions, the sterilization.

Why do people not take NO for an answer even when the person saying it has held firm on their stance for years and actively taken measures to prevent said situation (such as being responsible for a child).

Just needed to rant because I’m unsure how much clearer I can make my views on having children. Apparently I am in need of a son so my life can be fulfilled.