u/Independent-Pay9100

Its been 6 years, I am married to a soulmate now. And I was thinking about love and how its different between my soulmate and tf.

The signs are there, we keep reuiniting although its just to upset each other. And now, I am not sure its about love, I think its about spiritually and wanting them to see how this is insane and real. But I do not love the person, I used to for sure.

Yet now I think its more of an escapism for me to pur my anxiety at work, so I can be occupied.

When I forget about their existence then of course we get in touch without wanting to (bugs and in other random ways).

Yet their personality, their beauty, themselves have nothing to do with it at this point.

Sometimes I wonder if I am so attached because it the only thing in the world that makes past lives feel real. Makes life more spiritual and less black and white.

TRIGGER WARNING talks about fear of binging

>! can feel my fullness clues, finally after lots of time. The problem is that if I tell myself to stop at when I am full I feel restricted, so I overeat, but I don't want the food anymore, its just out of fear of binging later. So I let myself overeat every single meal, which is not a bad thing, but I just want to listen to my body, and I'm hearing it, but if I don't respect what it says it might just stop being so easy to listen to. !<

>!I do not want to restrict at all, and haven't been restricting for almost a year now, I just want to stop when I'm full. It annoys me not being able to! I keep thinking, oh well I am done, then part of me goes, just a bit more what if you binge later? What If the food noise comes back? !<