u/Independent_Bank_758

Salam I noticed women speak mighty boldly about mens to provide in Muslim spaces. Pretty bold given their only true responsibility in marriage is sex and even then they always whine about it. Whereas men have real responsibility. So they come at you "What kind of man are you." bold coming from a rotten waste of air who just exists and men flock to her. Yet she has the guts to talk about how lazy you are for only working not wanting to go to school because it is too difficult. Some of these women are useless.

salam I am 23m revert. I cannot provide for a wife because I don't earn enough. I am unable to complete college because it's too difficult. I have a disability and it was hard enough keeping a job alone. I do best in janitor work or when I worked in a sawmill but I can't work it then do school as well. It doesn't pay well, so I would have to go 50/50 with my wife. Trying to do school is not sustainable for me nor something I will ever achieve, it's too difficult. I tried to get trade work but no one will take a chance on me. What can I do? Should I keep trying and uprooting my stability by pushing myself into burnout and meltdowns? Should I accept I can't marry? Should I marry a christian girl?

Salam, I am 23m and am obsessed with one lady. She is a Muslima and so attractive I am obsessed. She told me she is not interested in me and said do not contact her and I put the message in ChatGPT which told me she means FOREVER. What do I do now? For years I talk to her in my head for hours a day...

Salam 23m revert. I do not like school at all. It is hard for me and I have no interest in any of the classes that I have to take. I tried computer science but didn't like it then now I am doing accounting. I don't like it at all. The only job I liked was my job at a sawmill. I have liked no classes. However, I am unable to get an apprenticeship so I am forced to do school. The sawmill job paid 2200 a month and here in my town you need 1100 minimum for an apartment. How would I provide for my wife if I only make that much?

I am unable to complete school because I have zero interest and don't do things I don't like long term without any reward. I can't work and then spend all my free time studying things I DON'T even like for years and years for a possibility that later I get a job and a wife. Point is school is all hard and no reward for 5 or 6 more years so I can't pay attention. I am thinking I will drop out. It is too difficult for me. What do I do? I want a wife in a year or less I am tired of waiting watching all these men holding their girlfriend.

Long story short I am willing to do things I don't like but I am not willing to only do many things I don't like without things I like such as women or apartment with no random people

Assalamu Alaikum,

I am 23m revert. I would like a wife soonish. I am working part time and going to school. However, I could work full time while in school to provide for her. I would just find a job in the evenings after school. Then she will be provided for. Has anyone done this? Does it work?

There is actually a sister living in my apartment building. I can't tell if she was raised muslim or if she is a revert. I don't know anything about her even her name. I don't think she would like me though. I think she's pretty but I lower my gaze, I only saw her once by mistake now I avoid looking at her when she passes. Is there a way to connect with her in a halal manner? What if she is a revert too? What then? Should I describe her to the uncles to see if they could help me? What do I do?

Salam. I am 23m revert. I asked a lady to mary me a second time two years after the first and she said no again. This time she said never contact her again. Another lady I asked to matry me and she said no and I kept messaging her until she called the police. There are some other ladies who rejected me and I didn't do this and one lady who was discussing with me but we weren't a match. How do I actually get a wife in my situation? I do not know many muslima so that's why I bothered some repeatedly. i know I was wrong for this. I would like a wife soon but I honestly think I will never find a wife. It is not that I think there are no other options but I don't think many would consider me for various reasons, some I can change, some I cannot. Some are characteristics like I am not well established which I am changing. Some things are just facts like I live in a smaller city which limits my options. Then some are my fault like I think at this point I have a reputation if any of the sisters talked about me I have a reputation for bad boundaries and conduct that is not good. I would prefer a revert wife because I am a revert but am open to people who aren't. A lot of revert ladies seem to get married quick so that is a barrier.

Assalamu alaikum

I am 23m and a revert. I am about 1 year finished of university, studying accounting. I plan to go for my BS in accounting, graduating in Spring 2029 in sha Allah. Then maybe after that, I will get my masters and study to become a CPA. I am living in a smaller city and there were about 500 people at eid prayer. Usually the two Jummahs bring 200 men together, most at the Arabic Jummah. I work almost full time, but it isn't enough money to provide for a wife. I can provide for myself and could afford a cheap apartment on a tight budget just for myself with no car, but currently live with roommates.

I am lonely and don't really want to have to wait until I am 27 or so to start looking for a wife. It would be very difficult for me. My family always ask me "when are you getting a girlfriend? You won't be young forever!" I explain but it causes me anxiety that I will miss out on love by waiting until I feel I am prepared fully, and think maybe trajectory is more important than immediate reality. I've noticed in the community there is a lot of trapping via this where they keep adding goalposts until people are 30-40 and unmarried. It seems to be a trick of shaitan. Allah is ar Razzaq if you take means He will provide. I lower my gaze and try to fear Allah and remember the akhira to distract myself from the fitnah of singlehood. I fast regularly and pray on time, read qur'an every day. I work and go to school and the gym.

I do not care what my wife is like in any shallow way. I don't care if she was born Muslim or a revert, what ethnicity, weight, etc. I would prefer a revert sister but I know they are less common and also in higher demand amongst certain men. I don't really want to marry because of sexual desire but more because I would like companionship as well as other forms of intimacy like hand holding and hugging. I can deal with other things, but the social need is strong and intense. I could wait to consummate the marriage until I am the provider for her. That way there is no chance of a child we can't afford. How do I find a wife?

Assalamu alaikum I am 24m and a revert. There is a lady in my town who is Muslim. She is very beautiful and tall. In fact, she is almost as tall as me and I am a tall guy. I expressed interest in her over two years ago and she rejected me. However, I think things have changed because I am employed now, making good progress on school. Also, I was very shy and being vague when I expressed interest so she probably misunderstood my intentions, warning me about Shaitan and encouraging me to contact women's family instead of directly so Shaitan doesn't trick me. I want to reach out to her family now two years later. We have no contact and have not spoke much because I am shy and also trying not to free mix with women. I haven't spoke to her directly for about two years. Is there an appropriate way to express interest this time in a halal manner? I found her mom and her baba on facebook but their settings don't allow messages. Likewise, I followed her brother and sister and instagram but they don't follow me back so i can't message them due to their settings. I am obsessed with this sister, I know it is crazy. The first time I saw her I became obsessed because she is more beautiful without makeup or adornment than any woman I've seen with or without makeup in person or through media yet she is not arrogant or prideful about this and she seems to be a practicing Muslima to my best knowledge.

Assalamu alaikum I am 24m and a revert. There is a lady in my town who is Muslim. She is very beautiful and tall. In fact, she is almost as tall as me and I am a tall guy. I expressed interest in her over two years ago and she rejected me. However, I think things have changed because I am employed now, making good progress on school. Also, I was very shy and being vague when I expressed interest so she probably misunderstood my intentions, warning me about Shaitan and encouraging me to contact women's family instead of directly so Shaitan doesn't trick me. I want to reach out to her family now two years later. We have no contact and have not spoke much because I am shy and also trying not to free mix with women. I haven't spoke to her directly for about two years. Is there an appropriate way to express interest this time in a halal manner? I found her mom and her baba on facebook but their settings don't allow messages. Likewise, I followed her brother and sister and instagram but they don't follow me back so i can't message them due to their settings. I am obsessed with this sister, I know it is crazy. The first time I saw her I became obsessed because she is more beautiful without makeup or adornment than any woman I've seen with or without makeup in person or through media yet she is not arrogant or prideful about this and she seems to be a practicing Muslima to my best knowledge.

Hello, I made a mistake and sent a woman I used to know a letter. I asked her to marry me a few months after I met her with no meaningful bond and she said no. Then we no longer contacted each other, she was not interested in contacting me. Two years later, I decided to send her a love letter via email and one to her home. I don't know what I was thinking. I was very down after losing my job then this idea came and for whatever reason I thought it would work. I was imagining she appreciates the letter and reaches back out and we get married. I was ecstatic and was barely sleeping pacing around thinking about our marriage to come. Now I realized that is not how reality works and she's not going to like it at all. She is going to feel uncomfortable I know her address and sent a letter. I wish I could take it back. How likely am I to be arrested? I have a clean record and have stopped since sending the letter. I did have one other woman call cops on me for cyberstalking but it led to nothing, not even a call saying stop. Same department though. That was in January. I live 4 or 5 counties away from them, used to live there when I knew them.