u/Independent_Gift1794

I (25F she/her) and my partner (27NB he/they) have been dating for about 2 years. We are both white - we live in a predominately white area. We don't know a lot of black people. I say all of this because when I met my partner, I had no idea what his cat's name meant, so when he introduced her as "Spook" I didn't think anything of it. At one point I did ask about the origins of the name, and he said she's named after a character in the "Mistborn" series. I haven't read it, but I looked it up and that is the name of the character, and it's my partner's favorite book so that tracks.

I recently found out that this is a racial slur. All my friends (not all white but none black) apparently knew that this was a racial slur and didn't say anything about it.

I told my partner expecting them to be surprised, but they said that someone hinted at something to this effect a while back. He looked into it and it looks like it's not typically considered rude if it's used as a proper noun - and that it's a fairly outdated term anyway. He figured since he had already had the cat for a while and no one else seemed to notice it, that it was more of an etymology issue than anything else. Knowing that other people seem to recognize it too, he asked if I think he should rename his cat.

The cat is 4 years old and he's had her for about 3 years. So I guess I'm wondering if it really is an etymology issue, or if this word is hurtful in any context regardless? Personally if it was my cat I would just rename her, but I am a lot less sentimental and this character/book seemed to really mean something to my partner. I know the term "Spooky" is originated from this but has since changed connotation and meaning, so I guess I'm wondering if it's similar to that or if it's much harsher.

I know this is a kinda stupid situation/question, but I wasn't sure where to go with it. If it really is harmful I will just tell him to suck it up and change the name, but I don't really speak from a place of authority on this. Really a "blind leading the blind" situation.

Hello! I (23F) am making this post for my little sister, (19F) because I genuinely don't know what else to do. For context, she is autistic but "high functioning" (I'm sorry if that's outdated terminology - I just mean she doesn't seem to have significant mental decline), trans, and doesn't have a GED.

We've been living together for a year. She was in a bad situation with my parents. They let her drop out of school her senior year and she was basically just living at home with no supervision or care; just on the computer morning till night. I let her live with me with the expectation that she would get a job soon and hop on the rent, but we can't find anything. I've remade her resume several times, she gets interviews, and there's no job I've overlooked. She's gotten 2 short jobs but was let go shortly after. I know I could be biased, but I genuinely believe she is an earnest person and a hard worker. She is soft spoken and gentle, but nevertheless diligent!

Is there anything glaringly obvious that I am missing? I am in debt up to my elbows and applying for weekend jobs even though I work full time already. Is it the GED? I am not sure how quickly that shows up on a background check - I honestly just told her to lie about it until I have the money to get her to GED testing. Is it because she's trans?? Do any other gender queer people have this issue? I know she's trying her best I don't want to grill her, but I am honestly at a loss for what's happening. I know she doesn't qualify for a lavish job, but I can't even get janitorial jobs for her!

Sorry to dump a lot - happy for any advice.

Edit: Wow, the overwhelming support is really heartwarming :,) sometimes I forget how kind and helpful people can be. Thank you everyone for your responses and I always appreciate more - I am taking it all! I am enrolling her in GED classes now she just hasn't started yet, but I think you guys are right and that should take a larger priority than it has been.

Hello! I (23F) am making this post for my little sister, (19F) because I genuinely don't know what else to do. For context, she is autistic but "high functioning" (I'm sorry if that's outdated terminology - I just mean she doesn't seem to have significant mental decline.), trans, and doesn't have a GED.

We've been living together for a year. She was in a bad situation with my parents. They let her drop out of school her senior year and she was basically just living at home with no supervision or care; just on the computer morning till night. I let her live with me with the expectation that she would get a job soon and hop on the rent, but we can't find anything. I've remade her resume several times, she gets interviews, and there's no job I've overlooked. She's gotten 2 short jobs but was let go shortly after. I know I could be biased, but I genuinely believe she is an earnest person and a hard worker. She is soft spoken and gentle, but nevertheless diligent!

Is there anything glaringly obvious that I am missing? I am in debt up to my elbows and applying for weekend jobs even though I work full time already. Is it the GED? I am not sure how quickly that shows up on a background check - I honestly just told her to lie about it until I have the money to get her to GED testing. Is it because she's trans?? Do any other gender queer people have this issue? I know she's trying her best I don't want to grill her, but I am honestly at a loss for what's happening. I know she doesn't qualify for a lavish job, but I can't even get janitorial jobs for her!

Sorry to dump a lot - happy for any advice. I'm living in SLC