r/askblackpeople

I've seen this video from Dr Umar doing the rounds and gaining traction:

https://www.reddit.com/r/BlackPeopleofReddit/comments/1tjfge6/dr_umar_johnson_talks_about_the_next_time/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

One of the unspoken rules of a roast is that absolutely nothing is off limits. In this particular roast of Kevin Hart, it hit some pretty shocking topics:

- Sheryl Underwood's husband's suicide
- Pete Davidson's father death in 9/11
- Charlie Kirk's shooting
- Hart and Brady's extra-marital affairs (with Hart's wife there in the audience)
- The Rock making jokes about Hart's deadbeat dad

Everything taboo was on the table from Chelsea Handler's abortions to Jeff Ross's cancer, to Lizzo's obesity.

But the fallout from the whole thing is that a large segment of Black folks found the race-based jokes to be offensive and unacceptable - but everything else is OK. Is that fair?

Also, I've noted how far we've fallen as a society because I remember race-based jokes at the old Comedy Central roasts, most notably the roasts of Flava Flav and Snoop, and nobody found them upsetting.

Why is it all so sensitive this time around?

So my friend celebrates his 18 birthday, we’re not really that close friends so it’s fine if I won’t go but I really want to. The birthday is going to be in a vila and it’s my first party ever in a vila and I know another friend who goes with me. Im pretty sure im the only black person in there since when he invited me to his WhatsApp group chat with 30 people I only saw white people and some with blank pfps and he doesn’t look like someone who has black friends honestly, I also saw multiple people like two who go there who I kinda suspect are racist(but idk) Anyways should I go? Im 17.

First of all, I'm a teenager from south east asia, english was my first language and i grew up watching a lot of english speaking youtubers. I'm 17 rn but I only found out AAVE a couple months back, and i realised that its words that ive used on a daily basis since i was young like "finna, aint (aint no way), hella, bruh or bru, lowkey, ion or ion know" and more words ofc but idk if theyre AAVE or not cause i'm still pretty confused on this, and im ngl i have no idea where i got those words from but its always been in my vocabulary, when i first found out what AAVE was, i heard that it was offensive or derogatory to use those kinds of words

I don't mean any ill intentions and this is with genuine curiosity, how exactly is it offensive to use AAVE and why is it offensive? whats the history behind it? and if i keep using the words ive listed, am i racist for it?

Every black woman I know has dated a DL man. Is this a thing or is it just me?

As a white person, i'm very curious about why do some black people use "white" as an insult, since every time i've asked someone for that, they don't respond to me, so i'm curious to know the reason behind that

Everywhere I turn there’s someone saying the N-word. N-word this, N-word that. Maybe I’m a boujie black person but my family hardly ever says this word and I honestly find the word very offensive. I’m a 30 year old woman and it’s been out of my vocabulary ever since I was 18. I also grew up in the middle class. My mom was a teacher and my dad is in construction. I hardly ever heard her say the word and my dad would say the word to describe dope boys and etc.

I (white) used the term "hood rat" recently to refer to groups of directionless high school kids who routinely rob stores, assault people and generally cause mayhem in my city. Most of these kids happen to be black.

I was called out for this by another white person on grounds that the term specifically refers to black people, and is a racist slur. I disagreed and said held that it refers to people partaking in the aforementioned behavior and is not directly referencing one specific skin color.

By my definition I've encountered hood rats of every race.

Would like to hear this communities thoughts.

Edit: Thanks for the well thought out comments by humanessinmoderation, 7SyZyG7, lil_lychee and IntelligentShape364

I was thinking of the term in a vacuum. In that context I believe my logic makes sense, but unfortunately the world is not always logical. If the majority of people, both the affected and non-affected believe the term applies to a specific group, then I suppose the meaning becomes centric to that group, which is unfortunate.

I see a lot of black people flexing their high credit score but it makes me cringe cause we think having high credit is just for getting a house or apartment or having low payments on car loans or whatever when it could really jumpstart your new career or business. For example I just lost out on $18k payday of 1 week of work online from home 3 weeks ago because all because my credit score was 40 points to short to get a revolving business line of credit I needed to make a deposit on a order needed for the government for my government contracting business…

hi. i came across a video on tiktok of two black men debating interracial dating. one of the men in the video is in a relationship with a white woman, and the other man is arguing that by not being with a black woman he was undermining the success of the black community. he says that since the black community does not benefit from his relationship with with a white woman and that her ancestors were his oppressors he should instead be dating a black woman.

this made me immediately confused because i don't think you can really control who you fall in love with. you should be with someone who makes you happy, and if a white woman makes him happy i don't see the issue?? i also thought it was kinda weird about how he was making a big deal about sticking to your own race because it does not benefit your community because i thought integration was the goal?? that people of two racial backgrounds are able to be in the same room and view each other with mutual respect.

the comments are very divided, a lot of people agreed with the guy against the interracial relationship because they are against dating someone whose ancestors might have oppressed your people. other comments question why he even cares in the first place who he is dating. and the comments i agree with are saying love is love, you should be with who makes you happy. but is that really anti-black for a black person to be with a white person??? im so confused. im white so i ig i dont know shit but i just thought the goal in a relationship is to love each other???

1. What's something fun/relaxing that you're looking forward to?
2. What's a meal that you didn't like, but had to pretend to like to not hurt someone's feelings?
3. If you have kids, what's something (movie, show, music, etc) that you shared with them from your childhood that they ended up enjoying? If you don't have kids, what would you want to share?

For context: I am white and my child is white. We live in an area where I'd say black people are at LEAST 50% followed by various other races and white people are edging more towards the minority. I typically don't have many issues and have lots of friends of various races including black.

My child is a preschooler and is very happy, friendly and social. However I've noticed in activities like swim classes, soccer, etc, my child tends to be the ONLY or one of the only white children. Now I know this question is usually an issue with the races flipped... but hear me out... my child will try so hard to be involved or get attention and I've noticed that the black teachers end up ignoring her more and praising and paying attention to all the black children far more.

I've been here for 6 years but my child is obviously just getting to the age of getting involved in these activities so it's a new experience. Most activities end up being predominantly black from every activity we tried. I don't have an issue with that, but I do have an issue with feeling that my child is considered not as important? Exactly how many POC have felt as I've heard.

I grew up in a very big melting pot of an area. Never thought of anyone as their skin color. Just friends and people. My area never focused on that and so racism really wasn't a huge thing. Black kids were definitely the minority (massively white/asian and Hispanic area) but there really was never any racist bullying or anything like that. It was a blessing I now realize to be raised in a pretty equal environment. I've actually never been a target of racism as a white person from black people until I moved here. I still love it here but it sucks sometimes to be treated that way as much as I try to ignore the comments, insults and attacks for literally the way I care for a cat (apparently wanting to make sure a foster family was a good fit by having them meet the cat first is "white people shit" bc they accidentally sent the wrong person [me] that text😂😂) so I don't want to move or anything like that. Just trying to figure out how to navigate my child growing up.

So what do I do? How do I deal with this? I literally see my kid all lit up and then slowly just dims throughout these activities when she realizes that she's basically being ignored and then starts acting out when she's seeing everyone get smiles, praise, attention, teaching and then the smile kind of goes meh when it gets to her... in terms of my child... it's mostly been from teachers... mostly.

Controversial post im sure but I'm hoping someone understands

Edit to add: in terms of where I am from- most of the families in that area have been there a LONG time historically, this was never a sundown town or anything like that. A lot of the area was just those (usually white/euro) families growing and then slowly more POC trickled in over time due to increases in certain types of industries that just brought more people (of many races) to the area. It's a pretty chill, laid back and middle of the road kind of area politically. Genuinely no comments, remarks, attacks, put downs, exclusions growing up in school towards other kids. Everyone was cool. So we were all raised to treat others the way we wanted to be treated. We were taught about the struggles faced by POC and taught actual history but didn't live in an environment like that.

Sorry I'm not sure how to phrase the question in my title. But it's just a general question I've been thinking about, from when I went to a software conference some years ago. One of the talks touched on how an automatic faucet failed to identify and turn on when triggered by people with darker skin tones, and in retrospective it was because the developers (all white) had only tested the motion sensor on white skin.

Another example would be band-aids; it was only a few years ago that darker toned band-aids were widely released. I remember pulse-oximeters being a problem for some as well, during the Covid days.

I sometimes wonder in what other ways things are just a little more difficult for Black people, when a design leaves them out? How do you feel about it?

I always assume it means being a social media influencer or a trophy wife, in addition to having a secure job. Basically being a girl who can get whatever she wants compared to other girls who may take longer or will struggle before she gets there because she’s not very attractive. Wouldn’t that mean I don’t really have potential then? Perhaps I don’t see many women who fit the sw/sb/trophy wife category do great things (philanthropy, 6-figure businesses, etc.).

Has anyone else had this happen? People casually say I look mean, sad, or miserable, which I find insane because I'm literally 4'9" and weigh 90 pounds, and I have a baby face. People always think I'm two to five years younger than I am, so why do people always assume I'm mean I’ve had black men say they were not expecting my voice to sound so proper which I find ironic it’s just the casual micro aggressive