u/Independent_Oil_5951

So this is in professional settings, social settings, my sports teams and family settings. I start off trying to get people to learn my intentions and plans, collect feedback and answer points of confusion. What usually happens is someone explains the things i just said but less clearly with more repetion, this happens over and over and i eventually get to a point where i fear it is seen as petulant or aggressive to assert control again.

It sometimes happens that everyone agrees with me at the start then it switches through pure attrition towards the end. Its really frustrating because often i was supposed to be teaching things or training people and we have to double work to do it right after i keep reexplaining what the interruper got wrong. There's been times when i need to shut the whole thing down because everyone is doing it wrong and we start from square 1. I dont know what im doing wrong. What are common ways this happens? Can i learn not to do this?

I am now paying 1k more monthly than i was last last year. part of this is my property value going up from 425k to 630k. part of it is having my insurance drop because of the reevalution and now paying 1300 yearly instead of 1000. but surely this isn't worth 1k more a month. i called to ask and they said it was CTI, and they hadn't done an escrow analysis on my mortgage yet. I started last april i guess they do the analysis in may. I wanted to see if any of this was temporary to build the escrow account but they just said they couldn't say. if i have to pay this i have to sell and move so i would rather know earlier.

Im 35 have a masters in electrical engineering and i know this post sounds weird. Im definitely neurodivergent and get hyperfocused on the work to the detriment on my life. I have never asked for a raise, i didnt realize it was expected to do every year until today. And ive only looked for a job when laid off. I make 115k in the midwest. It felt really good i guess i didnt even consider cost of living because i started at 60k.

So obviously i need to start trying new things. Should i apply for a job at what i think im worth? Do you think i can reasonably jump 30k to put me at median? Should i ask for a raise and explain that i just didnt know? Obviously that wont work at my current job. Is it too late to turn around to be a competitive earner? Can i ask what my coworkers make?

Ive been very naive but i dont think that shoukd hold me back for life.