So, like all of you, I was furious for a minute. Or less than 60 seconds, to be precise, when I saw DuchAss with Malala.

I’m not a fan of Malala, and I never will be. I have my reasons, and I’m not going to discuss them here. But I will never downplay what she went through as a young girl who simply wanted access to a basic education. What doesn’t sit well with me is the woman she has become, particularly her selective advocacy when it comes to women’s rights. But enough about a 28-year-old woman who apparently had no issues being photographed with the world’s No. 1 con artist/ Bully . Let’s talk about the con artist herself. 😂

I think Rachel has landed in the UK recently (not when they said she arrived), and now she wants to be SEEN. She wants people to know she’s there. And how does she decide to make her presence known? By meeting a 28-year-old woman who has RAVEC security.
I’m sure Markle tried reaching out to every celebrity and activist she could think of to arrange a photo op. She even leaked fake stories about meeting with celebs. And it looks like Yusufzai was the only one available to orchestrate this little pap walk and the obligatory forced hugs. 😂
Honestly, though, guys, let’s not make a bigger deal out of this pap walk than we need to. A woman’s gotta merch and feed her family! Don’t read too much into it.

Remember when Rachel was in the US? She was barely seen with A-listers or activists. Except the old Gloria Steinem. It’s not as if Malala has been living under a rock for the past six years and has never been in the US. So why this meeting, and why now?

And let’s be honest: when it comes to Rachel, these meetings with famous people never produce anything particularly useful or lasting. Remember her meeting with those Iranian women alongside Mandana Dayani? What came of that? NOTHING. Absolutely nothing that we’ve seen come to fruition.

Then there was her spectacularly underwhelming 40x40 initiative, where a bunch of celebrities and other notable people were roped into sharing the same recycled paragraph. And what happened after the initial publicity? Rachel didn’t exactly follow up with some grand, lasting legacy, did she? 😂

And remember the guests on her flop show WLM? Some of them barely promoted their own episodes more than once on their social media platforms. Imagine showing up for a show, getting paid to be there, pretending to be Markle’s friend and then seemingly moving on with your life as if the whole thing never happened. 💀

For Rachel, an exclusive headline in the tabloids and a few carefully curated photographs are the real prize. Anything beyond that is just a bonus.
A photo with a famous person gives her publicity. Publicity gives her headlines. Headlines give her content to parade around on her merch website.
It's a beautiful little cycle, really. 😂

And speaking of merch, have you noticed how she dines with famous people in famous restaurants but rarely seems interested in being photographed with ordinary plebes (even Kelly 3 Names) in some local pub? Funny, that. She needs to be seen out and about, wearing expensive clothes, dining at exclusive establishments, and hugging important people. Otherwise, how is she going to keep the Duchess of Merch enterprise going?

The more she goes out, the more photographs she gets. The more photographs she gets, the more opportunities she has to turn her outings into publicity and her outfits into merchandise. And the tabloids helpfully tell everyone exactly what she’s wearing and how much it costs. Except for the COLOUR OF UNDERWEAR SHE’S WEARING 🙄

At this point, the fashion breakdowns are practically doing the work for her. The tabloids are running out of things to say, so apparently, the price of her coat has become exclusive news. 😂

I can’t help wondering whether this sudden urge to strut around sweeping the streets of the UK has anything to do with Paris Fashion Week. Was she trying to remind everyone that she exists after not being invited?
Not that she was invited last year either, if memory serves. 💀

But hey, a woman can dream!

The bigger picture is that none of her projects or deals seems to have delivered the lasting results we were promised. The much-hyped initiatives fizzle out, the celebrity meetings generate headlines, and the publicity machine keeps churning.
So now we have another high-profile meeting, another round of photographs, another set of headlines, and another opportunity to tell us what an expensive outfit she wore.
And the prove-it game? That’s just the cherry on top.

Whether she wants to prove she’s in the UK, prove she still has famous friends, or prove she’s still relevant, the result is the same: more publicity, more photographs, and more opportunities to merch.
Rachel is 50 years old. A woman’s gotta hustle for her supper, after all. 😂

So, please, let’s not lose our minds over these planned pap walk. Let’s not mistake a photograph with a famous person for meaningful advocacy, or a celebrity meeting for an accomplishment.

Sometimes a photo op is just a photo op.
And sometimes, it’s a business model. 💅

PS: Also I remember her having lunch with Jason Knauf once and she called the paps 😂

Starts at 1.30 minutes

I DID NOT WRITE THIS. I AM JUST COPYING AND PASTING CANELLECITADELLE’S POST ON X

The Sussexes landed today at Birmingham WITHOUT police security waiting for them and they wanted us to know that🤭
Ok cool, interestingly on the eve of their arrival, two things happened at once:
First, "The Gentlemen" was renewed for the third season and Maya Jama is the star making her big debut into acting...NOT Meg.
To wipe the massive egg on her face, Meghan leaked that she "'withdrew' her offer over the weekend"...
Lol yeah right... The correct word is "rejected". After all the useless noise she made to pretend she had any clout, Meg's offer was rejected over the weekend😏
The second thing that happened was for the Sussex PR to release their "future plans for the years ahead via a "Friend":
The friend said: 'The way Harry sees it, he will be here for the next 12 to 15 years, minimum. He sees himself as a full-time father and he will be here for them spending every Saturday watching Archie play rugby. That is the agenda.'"
"Meghan will 'come and go' and is apparently already plotting out which weeks she will need to be here, and when she will be in California. The plan is for Christmas to be in Montecito – so no awkwardness for the Royal Family gathering at Sandringham'"🤭
Hahahhahahahhahahashaaaaaaah🤣😂😂😂
Tell me you have ZERO plans without telling me...
This entire codswallop by their "friend" is simply translating as "H&M have NO IDEA what their future look like, so they are winging it"🔥
Here, is Harry proudly announcing that his plans for the next 10-15 years, as a 42 year old man, is to be an "unemployed stay-at-home dad, well into his 50s"🤣🤣
How can an adult male, a father and husband at that, make a conscious plan to be unemployed for "the next 12 to 15 years, minimum", well into his 50s?!!!
I am crying, OMG...😂😭
Harry would be lucky to have an IQ in the double digits...what a dead weight..
The dire reality for H&M is that they have no outlook toward the future. Their entire future in the UK rests on KC welcoming them back into the RF, delivering their Half in/half out and their security for them.
All that, hinges on William accepting to be used as a scapegoat in a "Reconciliation of the brothers".
Therefore, the reality is that H&M's future in the UK rest in William's hands. The man they worked so hard at destroying these past 6 years is the one on whose validation they need for their future.
Karmic justice is truly impressive in the way it NEVER misses its target, isnt it?🤔
6 years ago, H&M left the UK for the US, in a big noise, with two big money deals, millions of Harry's inheritance money, high profile connections in hollywood, feeling cocky and certain that they would become popular Billionaires by now, and that they would successfully destroy the Wales and the Monarchy with their outrageous allegations.
6 years later they are back to the UK, where they said they will never be, as stealthily as alley cats. They are back in total shame after failing at everything in America, losing any public support, being blacklisted by the elite and the public who vomited them back out.
Instead of being Billionaires, they are filled with debts, quasi-broke and are now desperate for the RF they tried to destroy, to take them back and build them back up again.
Yes my dears, Life can give you a 100 and put you at the top of the pyramid where you feel untouchable. But if power goes to your head and you start spitting on what Life gave you, Karma will eventually end up at your door and deduct a 110 from you, leaving you with less than what Life even gave you to start with.🤷🏽‍♀️
Gratefulness is the path to glory in life. Ungratefulness the sure path to failure in Life. Live and learn☕️

My dear people, Harry already has security. It isn’t new, and it certainly isn’t some shocking development. He receives security on a case-by-case basis, with RAVEC requiring advance notice-28 days, if I’m not mistaken. He was already planning to come to the UK in September, so please don’t fall for the breathless “Harry’s family gets security” headlines.
(Remember back in January and July, his PR team ran a story that he already received automatic taxpayer funded protection for his family?)

What Harry appears to want, however, is something rather different: 24/7 armed security at the taxpayers’ expense. And that’s where the argument starts to fall apart.

Harry is now a private citizen and is 5th in line to the throne. The York sisters and their kids are also in the line of succession (8th - 15th), yet apparently we’re supposed to pretend that giving one private citizen permanent taxpayer-funded protection creates no precedent whatsoever.

And if Harry gets full-time protection simply because of his position in the LOS, then surely the argument applies even more strongly to actual working royals such as the Princess Royal, Prince Edward and Sophie, Duchess of Edinburgh, who currently receive protection primarily when carrying out official duties. By that logic, their children and grandchildren should presumably be added to the ever-expanding security bill too. At this rate, we’ll need a spreadsheet just to keep track of who qualifies.

The UK government should look at the facts, what the tax payers wish (refer to recent yougov poll!!) the risks and the costs-not bow to emotional headlines or pressure campaigns. If the security arrangements already provide appropriate protection when Harry is in the UK, then there is no obvious reason for taxpayers to fund a permanent 24/7 armed security detail simply because he wants one.

Being born into the Royal Family may come with privileges. It doesn’t automatically come with a lifetime taxpayer-funded security subscription.

Move week gave us the cleanest experiment we'll ever get. A pile of intimate details about this family hit the press in a few days, so I went through them with one question: who on earth could actually have known this? Not "who benefits," not vibes. Just literally, which humans had this information.

• The move announcement itself. Went to NBC from "a source familiar with the couple's plans." That phrase is journalism code for the subject's own team.
• Kids enrolled in British schools for September. Schools don't brief the press and admissions offices don't ring People. The only people who had this were the family and the school.
• School places "opened up," which is what accelerated the timing. That's the private reasoning behind a family decision. Nobody outside the household knows why they moved when they did.
• They're keeping the California and Portugal houses. Their own asset planning.
• Harry feels "numbed" over security and has been "pleading" with the Home Secretary in private letters. His emotional state, plus letters only his side has copies of.
• Harry felt "buoyed and energized" after tea with his dad in July. His feelings about a private meeting. There's one possible source for a man's feelings.
• Meghan has been offered an "exciting opportunity." Her career news isn't leaking out of Whitehall.
• The pets' travel plans. "HELLO! understands" the dogs are coming but the chickens are staying, with staff tending the Montecito house while they're gone. Think about who briefs a magazine on chicken logistics. The birds from "Archie's Chick Inn," the ones Oprah toured as the symbol of their authentic private life, now have their relocation plans placed in Hello by the only people who could know them.

That's eight, and I deliberately left out all the tabloid churn, the marriage trouble stories and William tearing his hair out, because who knows where that stuff comes from and honestly it might be invented. I only counted items where the information itself tells you the source. Every single one comes back to their side of the house.

Compare that to what actually came out of the palace this week: the King welcomes seeing more of his family in a personal capacity, no change to their status, no half in half out, private citizens. That's the entire output. No feelings, no room drama, no chicken logistics. One family communicates like an institution. The other communicates like a reality show between seasons.

Now remember whose privacy we've been hearing about for six years. The couple who said they were hounded out of Britain. Who sued newspapers over intrusion. Whose docuseries opens on the idea that their private life was stolen from them. Here's their denial trail on this exact move:

• September 2025: their own spokesperson tells People, on the record, that Archie is NOT enrolled in a British school and there are no plans for it.
• January 2026: their spokesperson calls reports of a mere visit "entirely speculative."
• July 2026: their side briefs the BBC that no permanent move is planned.
• August 2026: move announced, both kids enrolled, and the leak goes through their own pipe.

Three denials, and their own announcement killed all three. And given how long UK school admissions take, the plans existed behind at least one of those denials while it was being issued.

Nobody stole their privacy. There was nothing to steal. The miscarriage was a signed op-ed. The therapy was filmed. The labor story got posted from the hospital on their daughter's birthday. And this week the moving plans, the kids' schooling, the dad feelings and the chicken arrangements all went to the press from the only people who had them. They are the most self-exposed people on the planet, and when their biggest press case finally went the distance this summer, the court looked at eleven weeks of evidence and threw out every single claim. Turns out it's hard to prove your life was invaded when the record shows you selling the tour.

Thank God the internet exists,

because apparently the receipts have a much better memory than the people who made the statements.

With all the recent talk about the Sussexes potentially abandoning their American dream, I thought it might be worth taking a little trip down memory lane.

Because according to their own words, California wasn't just somewhere they happened to live. It was HOME. They were happy, settled, free, healed, at peace and surrounded by a wonderful community.

So, let's revisit the varying recollections…

August 29, 2020

Mr Pinocchio, aka Harry, was asked by rugby league legend Ellery Hanley how he was finding life in the United States. Harry answered:
“Loving it. It’s fantastic.”
He then explained that he wanted to get his son Archie involved in rugby and talked about having outdoor space at their new California home.
He said:
“I’m just unbelievably fortunate and grateful to have outdoor space and see my son be able to be outside…”

In 2021

During James Corden's open-top bus segment on The Late Late Show, Harry bantered about his new life as an Angeleno, discussing how they had settled down in California and adapted to family routines with their children.

April 2022

Harry explicitly stated that the United States felt like his home during an interview with NBC.
While speaking with Hoda Kotb during the Invictus Games in the Netherlands, Harry shared:
“Home for me, now, for the time being, is in the States. And it really feels that way, as well.”
He praised his new surroundings, adding that he and Meghan had been “welcomed with open arms” and had “such a great community up in Santa Barbara.”
When asked if it felt strange to call America home after living in the UK his entire life, he said it didn't feel weird and confirmed that the US felt more like home.

Then in 2023

Harry's official corporate paperwork for Travalyst recorded his “New Country/State Usually Resident” as the United States instead of the United Kingdom. The filing was made in 2024, but the date of the change was listed as June 29, 2023.
So much for the idea that this was merely a temporary little American adventure.

4 December 2024

When Harry appeared in conversation with Andrew Ross Sorkin at The New York Times’ DealBook Summit in New York.

“I very much enjoy living here and bringing my kids up here. It’s a part of my life that I never thought that I was gonna live.”

He was asked whether he intended to remain in the United States “for good.” Harry answered:
“I do.”
He then expanded on why he was happy raising his children in America:
“I feel as though it’s the life that my mom wanted for me. To be able to do the things I’m able to do with my kids that I undoubtedly wouldn’t be able to do in the U.K. - it’s huge. I’m hugely grateful for that.”

And then we have Rachel “Liar Liar Pants on Fire” Markle…

August 2020

During a video chat for The 19th Represents Summit, Meghan said it felt “good to be home” after living in the UK and Canada. She also said she was glad to resume using her voice and speaking publicly on topics such as gender equity and civic participation in a way she felt she hadn't been able to while a senior working royal.

November 18, 2021

During that embarrassing interview with Ellen the Bully, Junior Bully Meghan was asked about their life in California.
Her response?
“We’re just happy.”
The conversation moved into their new lifestyle, including their house, Archie, their chickens and spending time outdoors.
Most importantly, the interview specifically established that Harry loved California. Meghan said Harry “loves” California, explaining that they had been spending time at home, creating their home, and enjoying the lifestyle and weather.

August 29, 2022
In the awkward Cut interview, Meghan explained that she and Harry had seen the Montecito property and immediately wanted it.
She said:
“We did everything we could to get this house.”
She then described what she felt when she walked onto the property:
“Joy. And exhale. And calm. It’s healing. You feel free.”
(Remember Archie’s mama and papa look like Palm trees!)

August 2025

For the Bloomberg's The Circuit, when Emily Chang asked Meghan what made Montecito feel like home, Meghan said they were “just so happy,” spoke about taking their children to school and having a “really supported sweet life,” and described their community as “beautiful” and “embracing.”

So there we have it.
Harry was loving it.
America was home.
They were welcomed with open arms.
They had a great community.
They were happy.
Harry loved California.
The house brought joy, calm, healing and freedom.
They did everything they could to get it.

And now we're apparently heading towards “Never mind, let's abandon the American Jam Dream.” 😂

Which brings us to the obvious question:

What changed?

Because the more this unfolds, the more interesting the timing becomes. We have visa concerns, Financial pressure, possibility of bankruptcy in the cards. But I’ve also been thinking… what if
Something else entirely?

Why do I have a feeling it’s InGriftus indirectly forcing the move back to the UK? 🤔
If the organisation can’t keep footing the bill every time Harry needs to travel back to the UK, or jet off to another country, under the convenient umbrella of “Invictus duties,” and now people are starting to ask questions about its finances, perhaps the Grifters have realised the InGriftus travel gravy train can't run indefinitely. 😂

And let's not forget the pièce de résistance: King Charles' 80th birthday in 2028.
I'm sure Charles can somehow force William to stand in the same room as his brother long enough for one carefully choreographed photograph. Because, you know, portraits matter more than betrayal. 😂

Who knows.
But I do know this:
Thank God the internet exists.

Because when the story changes, the receipts don't. 😂

Everyone trying to Justify Vijay - Trisha affair saying him and his wife have been separated since 2021… yeah!? So why did they separate? What was the reason 🙄🙄🙄

wasn’t the reason Trisha herself 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Stop glorifying $hit like this. What they are doing is very very wrong. Stop normalising this. There’s a right way to do things. He can apply for divorce and legally separate from his legal wife and then Marry his side chick .

Before you come at me I used to be a vijay fan until today… today I unfollowed and unsubscribed from all the pages and channels that’s okay with this $hitshow.

The mental torture Sangeetha has to endure… that poor woman. Imagine if this happens to your sister, daughter? Even Vijay wouldn’t be happy if this happens to his daughter ….

Okay, I’ve seen enough of the birthday photo dump where every post feels like it’s trying to prove she’s having the time of her life 😂

So, in honour of our patron saint of "See guys, it really happened!", let’s play a little game:

What’s your favourite (or least favourite) "prove it" Game?

Mine has to be when Aitch was away on yet another grifting trip around their son’s 6th birthday. People started pointing out the timing, and suddenly there was a post thanking "everyone who attended his birthday party LAST WEEK." The emphasis on last week had me laughing - it felt less like sharing a memory and more like filing evidence for the defence. 🤡

Harry once told Dax Shepard on Armchair Expert that growing up in the Royal Family felt like living in The Truman Show. There was certainly an element of that when he was a child. Much of the intense media attention surrounding his early life was tied to his mother, Diana, whose relationship with the tabloids was famously complex. Whatever the reasons, as a little boy Harry and William had absolutely no control over any of it.

But as an adult, the comparison becomes much harder to sustain.

The public was interested in Prince Harry because he was a senior working royal, serving the Crown and representing the monarchy. Most people weren't obsessing over where he spent every holiday or whose private jet he was flying on. Before his relationship with Markle became public, no one knew who he was dating after Chelsey. In fact, their relationship remained largely out of the spotlight until it became public. Apart from the tabloids-and, his now-wife (who’s been posting clues about their relationship) - few people seemed particularly invested in the finer details of Harry's personal life.

Ironically, since marrying Meghan, his ILBW, the very privacy Harry says he values has become social media content.

Take their recent summer holiday. There was the usual speculation about where they might be, and that would probably have been the end of it. Instead, his ILBW’s social media was filled with photo after photo documenting the trip, the scenery and the people they met- effectively confirming where they had been and providing a roadmap of their travels. It was the very scenario Harry once described as being like The Truman Show. None of it served any purpose, beyond generating attention and engagement.

And then there are the children.

If anyone is genuinely living The Truman Show, it's Harry's children.

Their most intimate family moments are photographed, carefully curated and shared with millions of strangers. Even moments many parents would consider deeply private-such as bath-time photos- have been made public. Their faces are often turned away from the camera, creating a bizarre contradiction: they're supposedly being "protected" while at the same time being used to generate curiosity, engagement and headlines.

They just have some British titles in America and they are constitutionally irrelevant at the moment. One has to wonder whether they'll grow up understanding why so many private family moments were turned into public content for an audience they never chose.

That's the real Truman Show.

Not because the media is forcing cameras into their lives, but because the cameras are being invited in by the very people who insist they want privacy. Their parents. Especially their Mother.

The irony is that Harry may have escaped one version of The Truman Show, only to find himself starring in another - one where the director isn't the British press, but his own ILBW. And unlike the first version, this one appears to be entirely voluntary.

No one has done more to publicise Prince Harry's private life - or his children's - than Prince Harry and Meghan themselves, aided by the seemingly endless stream of anonymous "sources close to the Duke and DuchAss."

Now compare that with the Prince and Princess of Wales.

George, Charlotte and Louis appear when it's appropriate: official engagements, national celebrations, birthdays and carefully managed public events that gradually prepare them for their future constitutional roles. Beyond that, they're largely allowed to be children. We don't know where they spend every holiday, how they celebrate every birthday or what they have for dinner. We don't get a running commentary on their family life, nor are we shown carefully curated snapshots of their most private moments to drive clicks or engagement.
That's what normal looks like for children growing up in extraordinary circumstances.

So the irony is impossible to ignore.

Harry once claimed he grew up living in The Truman Show. Yet today, he still appears to be living in one. And the real tragedy is that his children have been cast alongside him, in a version of The Truman Show that is directed not by the tabloids, but by his own ILBW.

First one was born 3 years ago. Had to go through an emergency C section when I was this close to pushing (8cm dilated). Pregnancy was horrible. HG from week 5 - 40… no family support as I live faaaaaar away from them. Mom came the day after I delivered to help me out for 2 months 🥹 once the baby was born I forgot all about the struggle … so I wanted another one..

I’m now 10 weeks pregnant. I’m 35 years old. I can’t believe I worked full time during my first pregnancy… now I’m only working casual hours. Nausea hit me at 4 weeks. At my dating scan I was told I’m not 7 weeks pregnant but 6 weeks (probably a delayed ovulation). That was disappointing because I wanted to get through the 1st Trimester ASAP. Then the nausea, the vomiting, the metallic taste in your mouth… can’t keep food down and couldn’t brush my teeth for days…

I switched my prenatal vitamins (from Elevit an Ausi brand to Fabfol another Ausi brand) hoping it’d help with everything. Switched to plastic and wooden cutlery. Did not work. So I’ve stopped taking the vitamins for now (my iron levels are normal) and decided to take just folic acids. I’m vomiting less now but the metallic taste in my mouth is very unpleasant despite me brushing…

I’m also worried about my 12 weeks scan for no reason. I’m tired. I can’t sit for more than 30 minutes but I’m also struggling with insomnia… only getting maximum 6 hours of sleep in 24 hours… then I keep thinking about my first pregnancy and all the suffering and wonder why I didn’t take those experiences into consideration when trying for baby no 2… 😭

I can’t drink water so I only drink coconut water and electrolytes… I’m missing my toddler who is growing up so fast but I can’t entertain her the way she wants me to…

And then I’m struggling to decide if I want to have a natural birth or a planned c section… I did not have any complications after my first c section…

Why is pregnancy so hard!😭

Rachel "Manipulative" Markle, aka Harry's wife can't seem to keep her own stories straight, can she? The problem with telling so many different versions of your past is that eventually you forget which one you told last time.

During her MasterChef guest appearance (which ranked only 11th out of 30 programs, behind the commonwealth Games and Nightly News), Markle claimed she grew up with fresh, farm-to-table food, said her mum was a great cook, but then added that she didn't actually learn to cook from her mum because she taught herself. Convenient. Why give your mother credit when you can rewrite yourself as a self-made culinary prodigy?

Now let's rewind and follow the breadcrumb trail of contradictory stories.

In 2021, when Harry’s wife sent a letter to US Congress about paid parental leave (of course she signed it Duchess of Sussex), she said:
"I grew up on the $4.99 (AUD $6.64) salad bar at Sizzler - it may have cost less back then (to be honest, I can't remember) - but what I do remember was the feeling: I knew how hard my parents worked to afford this because even at five bucks, eating out was something special, and I felt lucky," she writes.

Fast forward to 2025 and her flop Netflix series With Love, MeAgain. While speaking with Mindy Kaling ("You know I am Sussex now"), she said:
"I was a latchkey kid, so I grew up with a lot of fast food and also a lot of TV tray dinners".
"It feels like such a different time but that was so normal with the microwaveable kids meals ... do you remember them?"
Kaling seemed to know the exact ones and had her own experiences with them.
"The Hungry Man meals?" she clarified.
She also said:
"I grew up with that watching Jeopardy and having a lot of fast food ... I used to eat a lot of El Pollo Loco, always been a fan Taco Bell - extra hot sauce on the Mexican pizza - Jack in the Box because my mum loved theirtacos."

Then, in her Harper's Bazaar (Bizarre) interview-complete with a house manager announcing her arrival to an audience of one-her childhood menu changed yet again:
"Carnation instant-breakfast shakes in the morning [and] deli sandwiches for lunch," the article describes. "Though (the sandwiches) were often an attempt to deliver on Meghan's request to have a Subway sandwich like she'd seen in the commercials."
And according to the same article:
her grandmother had a garden where a young Meghan liked to help pick greens and make preserves

And on an episode of her podcast, Confessions of a Female Founder, (episode with Heather Hasson, co-founder of FIGS), Rachel said "I see vegetables and I see take-out – because I don't have time to cook everyday – and I go 'alright, but how do I still make this flattering and beautiful and present well and something that people find appetising”

So which version is it?

Was it the Sizzler salad bar? TV dinners? Hungry Man meals? El Pollo Loco, Taco Bell and Jack in the Box? Carnation breakfast shakes and Subway sandwiches? Or was it a wholesome farm-to-table childhood spent harvesting vegetables from Grandma's garden?
Or you don’t have time to cook for your family of 4, because you are too busy being an Instagram Loving Bitch Wife, you order take out everyday…

Every interview comes with a brand-new origin story, carefully tailored to fit the audience of the day. The only consistent part of the story is that the story never stays the same.

At this point, they should wheel a lie detector onto every interview set. Not because it would settle anything, but because watching the machine try to keep up Markle lies might be the most entertaining part of the interview. If the old saying is true, there'd be enough pants-on-fire moments to keep the fire brigade on standby.