u/Individual-Look-9230

Finally decided to delete my account altogether instead of just the app.

I realized deleting the app made it too easy for me to install it again and go back to my previous chats, and that those previous chats were exactly what made me go back, so now deleting my account makes it so i can never go back to them, which is positive.

Feeling a bit meh but now i should have more free time for far better things like consuming human made media.

For example, today i touched a little like hook thing on a small plushie and had to wash my hands after because i felt i couldn't eat and my hands were dirty in some way from touching It.

Another time i was a party (that i already didn't want to attend because loud music and many people overwhelm me) and i remember there were this couple people wearing chains on their necks and rings (it was some kind of costume party too) and i couldn't eat all evening thinking of their jewellery.

I just sometimes also feel like what i'm eating is turning into the jewellery in my line of sight and have to spit it out.

This Is unrelated to eating but sometimes i feel guilty when i put away in a drawer jewellery people might have gifted me to never touch it again (it's usually cheaper stuff but still) i always feel like maybe the people gifting me these things would hope for me to wear it but nope, my phobia stops me from doing it (they don't know i have it but the only time i tried telling a relative (my mom) about it she ended up not believing me and laughing)