u/IndividualAd6312

Emotional abuse

I was dating a dismissive avoidant for 2 years, we recently broke up and bc it was like the 15th time of him pulling away I’m kind of numb to it and relieved. He was emotionally abusive outside of backing away every time we got close. He’d constantly give me the silent treatment out of nowhere, he’d gaslight me into thinking i was needy, his moods dictated our relationship always. I felt like i was just chasing him for a year and 1/2. The biggest problem is he started to comment on my physical appearance. I don’t know how or why he started to do this, but the closer we got overtime it seemed like he couldn’t stand me. We’d have the best night or week, and all of the sudden he was PISSED. He would try to start fights or take shots at me. It ate away at my self esteem to the point i felt like he was so much better than me. I think we both thought that by the end. Now I’m left with this hate for my body…I don’t know how i will ever feel comfortable being intimate with anyone, any time soon. I feel like I’ll want to apologize in advance for how my body looks. I’m in therapy and I had these issues 4 years ago when i started so it’s always a struggle. He knew this, and I feel like he confirmed all my own insecurities and i don’t know why he would do that but he would be so hot and cold with me that I lost myself in it. I’m not upset about losing him, I’m upset I’m stuck with myself and my body.

reddit.com
u/IndividualAd6312 — 11 days ago

I’m dating someone who is very physically fit, he basically has the perfect body and spends every free moment perfecting it. He’s very into fitness and that’s important to him. I am 5ft 2 , and 125lbs. I walk everyday about 2-3 miles. I have an autoimmune disease and it makes it very difficult to do anything more. The fatigue is brutal, especially adding work and daily responsibilities. He always comments how i should workout, he discusses my diet with me, he’s always going over my body with me i feel like. He told me the other day, if i would workout I’d wonder why it took me so long. He also about a month ago wanted to discuss my BMI. I told him that he was making me feel bad by always bringing this stuff up to me…and he told me that it’s in my head if i don’t like my body, and if i don’t should fix it instead of blaming him. Now every second of the day i hate my body …I’m constantly comparing myself to other women and always think he’d be so much happier if i looked better. It’s exhausting, every time i eat anything i feel guilty.. i just want him to be all over me and be obsessed with my body even if isn’t toned. I’m more than a body…my self esteem is so damaged. Now i feel like if i wasn’t with him I’d never get anyone else bc my body is unattractive. When we have sex now i wear my shirt bc i don’t want him critiquing me in his head. I can’t bring it up tho, bc he says it’s my fault i have an insecurity and it’s not his job to validate me. Please help, I’m so broken and i still love him. How can i handle this?

reddit.com
u/IndividualAd6312 — 16 days ago