u/IndividualStar0_0

Hey girls!

So, I recently left Islam. I’m a closeted ex-Muslim for now. I want to know what was the first thing you guys did to express yourself? I need help with glowing up and taking care of my appearance. I don’t know how to style my hair thanks to being a hijabi, I also don’t know how to dress up bc of that too. Wearing the hijab doesn’t make me feel feminine and I feel like I want to express my femininity in whatever way possible. Any tips are welcome!

I don’t even know if this is considered a rant, if not ignore the flair. but I’ve reached the point where I can say with 100% certainty that I’m not Muslim. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. Gone are the days where I have to worry what Allah might think or if he will ever come through, because he never did. I’ve gone through sexual, emotional, physical abuse thanks to islam. Islam literally set me up for failure, because it caused me to fear interacting with the opposite sex which is something you’ll be doing daily as an adult. As a kid I was into art and music, but I stopped dreaming of ever pursuing it more than just a hobby because it’s haram. As a teen, I wanted to be a model or a dancer, but that dream was also instantly shut down because of islam. While men can sing and dance publicly without it being shameful. Islam was the reason why I lost my will to live and be happy, because why bother? Whenever I’ve developed an interest towards something, it somehow turns out to be haram. All of it just feels like it’s made so that men can live comfortably, while women have to live uncomfortably to accommodate to what men need. I’m so happy to leave all of it behind me and live freely again. I can wear whatever I want, speak in whatever tone I want, love whoever I want, and there is nothing will stop me. It’s crazy to think that I’ve spent 25 yrs of my life gaslighting myself into thinking that all of this is normal. You see women in the west with their hair out and not a single man over there will pay attention to it. However over here, somehow men will fawn over my hair whether it’s good or bad according to Allah so I have to cover it. Oh and I have to also do it while praying, which makes it feel like Allah has some sort of fetish for hair which makes him sound like he’s the perverted one. It’s all so weird. Anyway, I just want to finally let this out since I have no one to share it with :’)