u/Individual_Island719

I searched the picture and it's the only one. The other moms in there were also freaking out and also didn't find it. This was in a Facebook mom group im in.

But some anonymous idiot posted a picture of a tiny newborn with nail puncture wounds all over his arms. One is so deep, but all of them are open wounds. They're not even close to each other, no damn way this was an accident. She also first said it happened by "accident" because her husband got too frustrated, then she completely back tracked and changed the story when people freaked out.

But who knows, not my job to investigate.

But where do I report it?

I just called the police and they're having an officer call me back. I also am calling the local FBI office once I get a police report number (just because I was reading the FBI deals more with cyber crimes, could be wrong).

Idc if im wrong, it won't hurt anyone for them to check it out and make sure the baby is OK.

Unfortunately it is a public mom group on FB with one mod (who hasn't been active in years). So I don't even know.

Does anyone know where the proper place to report this is?

I know someone will attack my income, being the internet and all, but I'm one year from completing a STEM degree, it's not forever. But maybe don't bully poor people regardless. Anyways...

So I talked with her pediatrician and she agreed I was right to want to take her this morning. The entire issue is that, without insurance, I would have to pay thousands for the scans and bloodwork needed upfront. After I confirmed i was gonna take her, her pediatrician called the children's hospital and explained. They were very kind and understanding.

Basically, I lost my job a few weeks ago, and she hasn't had insurance since May 1st. Usually i hold her insurance because her dad doesnt have any through his job; he pays me half of medical and we share custody fairly even.

I filled out an application to get her a marketplace health insurance immediately, but they're saying I may qualify for medicaid. So I am in limbo, needing to wait for either a Medicaid denial or approval. I already turned in the letter from her previous health insurance (removal letter, I believe it's called) and all her info. I turned in all the paperwork needed on the states side as well, for the medicaid stuff. They are backed up and it's just in processing. I cant sign her up for a marketplace plan until they get an approval or denial from the state. Couldn't afford the COBRA option from my last job.

I already talked to the state and they couldn't tell me for sure if she qualifies or not. The issue is im literally starting a new job in 4 weeks where I'll make $22/hr.

That is well over the income limit for a household of 2 in my state, and I just dont think I qualify due to that, and only having recently lost my job.

I guess I'll see on the medicaid, which would cover the ER visit, but I'm not counting on it. Basically prepared myself to hear the worst, and be grateful for the best (if it happens) regarding the medical bill.

This whole no insurance thing pisses me off because I could've just signed her up for health insurance by now otherwise, but I'm going to choose peace in my head i fucking guess 😂

Basically, she's had a limp for 5 days. I started talking to her doctor immediately, and since there was no pain, we were planning to get her to ortho when she did have insurance. Like i sat there and inspected her feet, ankles, legs, back, basically the entire baby (she says she is not baby, indeed she is still my baby). I pressed on everything, i softly twisted around her ankles and moved her legs around. No pain.

Well the limp got worse the last 2 days. I got faced by a dilemma. What if she had a small fracture? She was still jumping, playing, and running around like a crazy 2 year old, but with a limp, so I wasn't really thinking it could be that. Her doctor agreed, but she said also sometimes kids are too resilient and can ignore some pain.

She didn't have any fevers or recent illness, so no toxic synovitis (ER doc and pediatrician both agreed). Also due to no fevers, i didn't really think it was a tumor. But yup, the uncertainty of that one just made me take her. Her pediatrician and I both agreed that it seemed unlikely, but not impossible. I just knew if I waited a month and she did have a tumor, I was going to be sick to my stomach that I waited to take her in.

I more likely thought maybe a hip issue of some sort, but I just accepted i was not going to wait.

Multiple blood tests (including ones for inflammation), multiple scans and xrays later, and everything was normal. I know that bill is going to be insane.

I'm honestly not even mad that i took her and everything is just fine, I am just happy she's ok. I am well aware of the enormous bill I'm about to get. If i am able to qualify for financial assistance through the hospital, great. If I get medicaid for this month, even better. If I don't get any help and have to file bankruptcy, yes it's not good at all, but I have a healthy child. I will deal with renting for a decade or two, rebuilding shit credit, and be fine. When I got home and held her to sleep, i was just grateful.

Also, it came to me after everything was checked off, but I wonder if she had some small inflammation one day, saw me be stressed out about her walking (i very carefully did not mention the limp to her, but im sure she saw me focusing on it), and made the limp more pronounced for attention. 🥲 she is in that toddler phase where she shows me tiny cuts for kisses and cuddles, and extra comfort. Obviously not malicious because she's 2, but that did run into my head as a possibility after all that 😂

The plan is to see ortho when I do have insurance, just to double check that everything is fine; her doctor and the ER doc thought that was a good plan. But I do think everything is fine.

I will also see if the hospital she was born at will take her back, she is too expensive 😂 she is not accepting she was born broke.

Edit: This was more of a rant. My best friends dog of 15 years just passed away, and I wanted to send a whole thing about this ER visit to someone, but definitely not her. She has enough on her plate and im just here to support her right now, not take from her. I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone else I know that my kid didn't have insurance lol.

But I don't actually need anything, just wanting to be negative and complain to the void I guess. 😂

I already applied to medicaid, turned in everything, just waiting. I will call to see if I should apply to financial assistance from the hospital before or after I get an answer on medicaid. I will still read all the advice and I greatly appreciate it, but I was on top of the health insurance thing the next business day after she didn't have insurance. I greatly appreciate having a space to talk about this ❤️

Im just grateful she's ok. The process of getting health insurance is a pain in the ass though 😂

I have a few questions if thats ok. I just emailed my lawyer and he usually schedules a call or emails me back within 1-3 business days. Just a little anxious on how all this will look, in the meantime.

1. What is mediation like?

2. if it goes to court, am I likely to get him to pay my lawyers fees too, for being difficult, or not in this situation?

3. how much are mediators, from what you've seen? I know this can depend on the state, just trying to get an idea i guess.

4. if he doesn't pay the mediators fee (our custody paperwork says half each), what happens? Do I have to pay it for mediation to happen? And then he pays me back? Or do they do the mediation and go after the fee from him later?

So the crazy thing is that none of this benefits my ex... yet he is insisting on the most difficult outcome. His brother is opening a business in December and he is getting a great salary & partial ownership. My ex didnt contribute at all to that venture, but his brother is being very nice and trying to help him into a better situation. My ex doesn't need to be dealing with any huge ORS debts, mediation fees (or debts), or any of this crap. His brother sold his house to partially fund this (he also has an investor).

He even said he is aware the judge will probably approve my request (he himself admitted it standard in most custody paperwork), but he doesnt care and wants to go through mediation, then up to court. He says they can approve it, he wont. Oh, and he refuses to hire a lawyer (which has always been the case). None of this is logical at all.

We argued over everything closer to when we ended our relationship (now years), but it's been mostly peaceful for a year and a half. So this situation is frustrating... and the whole purpose of adding the clause is because I dont want us to be arguing in the future over this. Ive just been putting up with the stress of him being constantly late, but I'm not willing to continue putting up with it. It's that serious to me.

I asked for something extremely reasonable. I asked that we add a clause where if me or him are late more than an hour, we lose our custody time and the other parent doesn't have to wait anymore. I want to add an exception that says if the other parent tells the receiving parent it's ok to be late that day, it doesn't apply. I dont care most days, but he doesnt care to be on time even when I really need him to be.

I just need him to stop being late on days I need to leave on time. Mainly, his pick up Monday is 2 hours before I'm at work. He won't change it and he's consistently borderline making me late to work, or once I was 1 hour late. He has Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.

This clause wasn't added to our custody settlement because I didnt think of it and also my first lawyer wasn't great (she actually got fired from the firm). I have a different lawyer at a different firm now.

So i ask my ex about this clause I want, and i tell him im open to compromises. He texts me back that he promises to be on time going forward, but he refuses to sign anything unless we go to mediation. He won't listen to reason and I stopped asking. He arrives to pick up our daughter, and because she is asleep when he gets there, he takes opportunity to berate me for an hour. He would barely give me a second to say a word or two, then talk over me and keep going. I asked him to leave eventually and accepted theres no opportunity for discussion, he just wants to argue rn and he's not willing to listen to both sides.

He basically says he won't compromise or agree to anything unless its in mediation. In our custody paperwork, it says we need to try to come to agreements together, then mediation if we disagree, then court.

He has this idea that mediation is better because he's worried he'll get screwed over (because I have a lawyer and he doesnt), and that mediation will somehow help. I told him 3 times that a mediator is not going to act as his lawyer, not going to act as a representative to him, and is basically there to make sure we are trying to work with each other. He says he understands that, but he starts explaining again why he wants mediation so bad, and it again ends up with him saying, in different words, that he won't trust signing something unless the mediator is there to guide him and protect his rights... I again explained they do not give legal advice, I advised him to get a lawyer, and I told him he is misunderstanding how this works.

I explained it would be cheaper to get a lawyer to review one small paragraph (which is all the clause will be), than it is to go to mediation. His uncle is a lawyer and previously told him he won't charge him a retainer, but his uncle does make him pay the full normal hourly cost of each service... so he doesn't want to spend maybe $200, to go spend thousands instead? I explained this to him and he refuses to hire a lawyer, says he won't be forced to pay a lawyer due to an inconvenience by me, but that he wants mediation. He even said he agrees to the thousands of dollars.

I finally just gave up and emailed my lawyer.

The wild thing is, he is usually fairly smart. He understands normal things well. I would even say smarter than most. I legit think he is wanting to be as destructive to me (because he knows it's expensive) as he can, but he needed to find a reason in his head that makes him feel like he's not the bad guy in this situation. Or he also may think i won't go through with it. So that's why he both says he understands mediators can't give legal advice, but then goes back to "they'll protect" me, while refusing to hire a lawyer.

I might be wrong though. He might actually be slow on this topic, because I also partially feel he doesn't understand. I cant fully tell this time what his thoughts actually are. But he is unwilling to listen, so I guess that's his choice.

All this time, i have been trying very hard to coparent peacefully and make sure hes ok too, for my daughters sake. I was letting him catch up on bills and being understanding that his hours were cut for two months (they have since been back to normal, but I was letting him catch his breathe). ORS has had his case since the beginning, and they know hes behind, but i have called twice to see if theres a way to forgive the amount (they told me no, but my lawyer just told me last week i can say he did pay me cash & fill out a paper.. not doing that now). In the mean time, they have been moving his schedule a lot and I always let him switch me days, no problem. I even take her extra days when he needs it (i have never asked him to do that for me). I bought all our daughters wardrobe and shoes (shes sized up 3 times in 6 months; shes a tall toddler, as tall as a 4 year old), and then split them with him because he was struggling. I try really hard to listen to him when he needs help or when we disagree. I find a way to work with him.

I'm not forgiving the child support backpay anymore, because now I want it to make up for what I'll have to spend due to him being difficult. I didnt tell him that, and I won't, he can deal with ORS alone. I know forgiving it was never smart, but I did genuinely want him to be in a better place. It doesn't benefit our daughter to see him struggle. But now he's costing me thousands? I'm not taking both costs alone, that just leaves me screwed. If that makes me a bad guy, so be it.

And I never ask for any changes or accommodations, i just find a way to fix my own problems. so yes I'm super offended that the one time I ask for a very reasonable change, that most other people have in their custody agreements, he chooses to be extremely difficult, with zero attempt to accommodate a compromise even. I was open to changes in the suggested clause. I was happy to give him a few months to have a lawyer review it for him. He just wants mediation, but doesn't want a lawyer.

I am just sick of him always being late. If he knows i dont work that day, it's even worse. He will be hours late, or not here until half the day is gone (pick up time is in the morning). Today is a prime example. He got here at 1pm, his pick up time was 7am. Never asked me or communicated with me, and he didn't answer the one text I sent asking if he would be there at 7am.

And also, i go out of my way to respect him, so im not happy he sat there berating me. He was rude to me for an hour over this (sat there and told me i am annoying, that my inconveniences aren't his problem, etc), wouldn't even let me get a sentence in, and i had to ask him to please wrap up the convo, because it wasn't a healthy discussion and I was just stressed now. He scoffed and listened, and left.

Just because I dont yell doesn't mean I'm a pushover, which he seems to think. I called ORS and made sure the case was still open (it is, they're moving forward with a garnishment). I filled out a form to add a credit for her medical premiums to the amount they collect from him for me. And sure, I emailed my lawyer. Mediation i guess then. And he can call ORS for anything support related, im no longer answering anything about that.