u/Individual_Mood4185

I’m a woman that’s falling in love with a guy on the smaller side… and he’s a virgin. I’m not a virgin.
Neither of those are a problem for me. We’ve done some stuff but no penetration yet, and things are heading towards this direction soon yay!!

The thing is, we don’t talk about his size, which is fine with me, but at the same time I keep thinking if he’ll know what size condom to get. It seems silly I guess but I’m pretty sure he’s never used/tried a condom before, and I just don’t want him to get an “average” one and it ends up being too big on him.
I want his first time to be fun and comfortable, not weird and embarrassing.

For guys with small pps, what do you use?? should I approach the subject with him at all? I was thinking of just getting a pack of condoms myself just in case but idek which ones, I usually don’t buy condoms lol

Salam sisters, this is a throwaway account I literally just created, but I’m always here with my main account.

TLDR: how do I tell my friends and family about my upcoming nikkah? Considering I’m getting divorced AND and I’m a new revert 😅

The long version, starting with how I became a Muslim:

I went through extremely tough times at around December/january, which led me to fall out of love with my (non Muslim) soon to be ex husband. I saw who he really is, and after almost 2 years of marriage I decided to ask for a divorce. Between me falling out of love and deciding to actually ask for the divorce and actually filing for papers, I got “closer” to a coworker of mine (from another department but we work together all the time) who introduced me to Islam. He was just saying kind words to me regarding what I went through at the end/beginning of the year, and he gave me his perspective on things based on Islam. He never asked me to revert, or anything like that. I’d ask him a lot of questions actually and he’d respond to the best of his abilities, but always encouraging me to look it up on my own. And I did that, I got curious and I did some research and I genuinely felt a connection to Islam, I made some posts on some subs bc I didn’t feel I was worthy of being a Muslim, I set up a time with the Imam of my local mosque and we met up twice, I went to the masjid a few times to see it for myself, and I actually made a friend there!! My coworker gave me his sisters number so I could talk to her and ask woman related questions too. But I wanna make it clear that I did all of this on my own, because of my own feelings and beliefs. And finally a month ago I became a Muslim!!! It was such a happy day for me. I’m very happy that I choose Islam, I have no regrets regarding that at all.
My entire family is catholic btw, I’m not American, I moved here 7 years ago but my whole family is back home, I’m alone here. I told my family almost 2 weeks ago that I’m a Muslim now, and my dad was very supportive but my mom’s side not so much.

Anywayssss, after I became a Muslim, my coworker was very happy for me and the subject marriage came up. I’m ngl girls, he’s a very cool guy, very decent, and although I never talked to him with the intention of something romantic in mind, I thought he was cute and he is extremely kind to my coworkers from my department, always very calm and happy to assist us when we need. He asked if he could talk to my dad, I said yes and we had a call us 3 because my dad doesn’t speak English.
This dude made an effort to learn phrases in my native language so he could talk to my dad. Nobody had done that before. I have an ex boyfriend who never even talked to my dad, and my ex husband didn’t care for him or for my native language. He didn’t even ask me to teach him, he took it upon himself and surprised us both, I was very touched.
My dad was happy and he gave us his blessing. I asked my mom if she would be open to have a call with him as well and she freaked out, said I was going crazy and I need professional help. She thinks that because of the things that happened to me, I went delulu and asked for a divorce and entered a new religion. I do have professional help lol I do therapy and I take adhd and anxiety meds. I don’t feel like I’m crazy at all lol everything I do is actually very planned out and thought about. She also disagrees with me getting a divorce because she thinks women need to endure everything in a marriage, and that I needed to be more patient with my ex husband (even tho he had 0 empathy and patience with me during the hardest moment of my life. AND her and my dad are divorced lol)

Anyways, me and him both talked, separately, to the Imam of our masjid, I talked to my new Muslim friend as well, and honestly I’m not doing anything wrong. I’m living alone, waiting for my divorce papers, and my marriage became invalid islamically the moment I became a Muslim, so now I need to wait 3 months and after that I can marry again. We asked questions to each other, but we’re avoiding texting to keep things halal. He checks out all the boxes I have, and even more. His family gave their approval as well. We’re planning on doing the nikkah in July, I don’t see why I should wait. I want to start a family, and I want a Muslim husband. He’s very religious and I appreciate that a lot, and I want a husband who will guide me and teach me, and keep me in the right path. I’m happy with my decision, I’m sure of it, and I’m not looking for advice on whether or not it’s early. I feel ready, I like him and I don’t want to wait a long time and fall into sin. I feel more than ready to start over.

My friends tho, childhood girl friends non Muslim, some of them don’t know I’m a Muslim, and idk how they’ll react. The ones that know are “supportive” but kind of weirded out by it, they don’t know much about Islam. And my mom knows about him but she disapproves of it. Idk how to tell the rest of my mom’s side of the family, or my friends. I love them all, and their support mean a lot to me but also, I’m very sure of my decision. I’m even considering not telling them at all about the nikkah, but also I don’t want to hide it from them and I think it goes against Islam too.
I’ve been praying A LOT, Du’a and istikhara, I’m currently aiming for at least one daily prayer but most days I do 2. And I feel peace in my heart with what I chose to do.
I’m just nervous of not being accepted by my loved ones, and afraid of loosing my long term friendships because of it.

How do I manage this? I pray so much that Allah will soften their hearts. I’m so happy and I wanted to share my happiness with them.
Do I tell my family? Do I hide my nikkah from them? Did anybody have to go through something similar?

Just to be clear again, with or without him I still love Islam. He opened a huge door for me, but never told me or forced me to do anything. But now that I’m a Muslim I don’t see why I’d keep myself from being with someone I like that checks all the things I’ve always dreamed of.