LO is 9.5 months. I typically give a bottle right before bed (7pm), wipe teeth, pacifier, hold until drowsy, then bed. I know this isn't the greatest approach but it's been survival mode up until now and I'm usually out in 15 minutes. Some nights there's a wake up 45 min-1 hr after being put down, sometimes it's a wake up at 12-1, sometimes it's only 4am and sometimes it's a combination of the above. Often requiring a diaper change around the early morning wake (hedging bets to avoid a secondary issue or diaper is usually hefty - big drinker). Sometimes its easy to settle in the crib with a pacifier and butt pats, other times require a hold to calm/drowsy and transfer
I realized LO wasn't asking for milk before settling again so took that as a sign to night wean. Since then the wake ups have been pretty consistent at 5:45-6am and he is hungry. I BF and cosleep until 7, which is the preferred wake time (for me tbh, I'm exhausted).
Typing this out really makes me realize how many sleep associations I've created out of desperation. I don't mind being my LOs safe space but I'd like to work towards independent sleep and have tried versions of the Ferber method. Ultimately this doesn't work for our family.
Current schedule is 2.45/3/3.5 with a total daytime sleep of 2.5-3 hrs.
All of this info to ask - what issue should I tackle first?
ETA: our second nap is usually shit. Often waking after one sleep cycle and needing assistance to fall back asleep. Also apologizing for the rambling wall of information.