I just can’t handle anymore.
I’m a stay at home mom to two boys, age 3 and four months. My husband also works from home.
I’m to a place where I just can’t handle anymore mental or physical load. I don’t know if it’s weaponized incompetence, or what, but it feels like I get no help. The mental load is just too much for me to handle.
I cook all meals for everyone unless me and my husband do protein shakes for lunch. Breakfast, coffee, lunch, and dinner for me, my husband, and 3 year old. I also handle feeding the 4 month old. I handle all budgeting, all grocery shopping/shopping in general (clothes for everyone, etc), all laundry (he does occasionally fold clothes), all cleaning, vacation planning, etc. as well as caring for the kids while he’s working. Medical bills, insurance, everything falls on me to figure out and handle.
I do understand that he works - and he does handle mowing the grass every other week. But I just feel so burnt out and overwhelmed I feel like can’t care for myself anymore. It just feels like I handle so much when he says his mental load is just as much as mine.
Lately I’ve tried to push him to help, but I feel like weaponized incompetence happens. Helping with a meal, he won’t make enough for me to eat. Making the baby a bottle, makes the wrong amount. I don’t know if it’s deliberate, but it feels deliberate.
It’s just too much to handle him and two kids. I know having the second has made it worse, but it’s so much worse now.