
Starting over.
Has anyone does this? Can anyone help?
Lately it's been getting to me more that I am not and never will be a gigapassoid, that I am ugly passoid ish poon with clocky traits.
Having friends know I am trans just remind me of all these traits, and I can it erase their memories. Having trans friends just makes me sadder, since they mog me to dead. I have on friend that is openly out so my cissoids know, and even they admitted he mogs me. They, themselves, mog me.
It's an endless cycle of waking up feeling decent just to see people I love, like, have much better lives to me, and struggling to be happy, not because I am not, but just because ALL I ever did all my life was to transition, hell I had realistic goals, I just wanted to pass as much as other trans men (non-theyfab, shut up), but I am far below that. It ruins my own self perception to see people that got it all fucking up their doses, getting help to DIY, "being groomed into it", when Ibeggedg my ass in ONGS at 13, 14, 15, 16.
I want to cut all tied related to me being trans. I want to force myself into thinking I am a cissoid male in people's minds and nothing else. I don't use social media besides this which will be gone soon too. I want to take it a step further and block all friends and family who know I am a train, since I just graduated.
How to proceed with this without being an asshole?