u/Inevitable_Camel1235

I‘m curious to know if it’s my personality type or maybe my upbringing.

I find anything that would lead someone to believe I cared for someone out of emotions incredibly cringe. I always need a logical explanation. Even friendships, the whole concept of a „best friend“ is like admitting weakness. I could never let anyone that close to me.

Same with intimacy. Never had it. Not because I don’t want to, but I can’t bring myself to justify it because I see the end of the whole thing right away. And I don’t want to waste anyone’s time, because I know it will end eventually. And if it’s not the one to create a family and continue the legacy it’s hard to justify from a purely logical standpoint. Which I guess is why I end up pulling away from everyone before getting too close.

I have actively worked on myself, grown a lot and adapted to society in most ways but this is the only thing that’s still hard for me to overcome.

It’s difficult to put into words, but does anyone else experience something similar? And what can I do about this?