u/Inevitable_Ear_9034

My son was Donovin was born still at 36 weeks on Aug 25, 2026. I think I’m looking for reassurance that I am
not overreacting. I still cry most every day. I still
wake up and just lay there thinking this cannot be my reality. I still imagine where he would and what he would be doing in every situation we are in.

When people ask me if I have other children I want to say “Yes I have a son that passed away” but for some reason I’m questioning if that is the right response. I truly feel I do have him as a child. But I guess I’m needing reassurance that this response to describe him is appropriate even though he passed away shortly before his birth.

ETA- I am so disappointed in myself. I went to an appt this morning and told myself I would acknowledge my son if he came up in conversation. A woman asked me how many children I have and I froze and ultimately
didn’t mention him.

My son was born sleeping at 36 weeks just a week and a half ago. I’m looking for some book recommendations that can help me through my grief, to continue parenting my living children and to maybe understand some of this.

I would like the book to not mention or be about TTC or PAL.

Im sorry you’re in this community and thank you for sharing

My husband and I have never been overly religious although our entire inner circle is….We’ve always believed in God in the general sense.

I’m finding myself really really struggling with my own belief system now that I have had this devastating experience. I lost my son at 36 weeks, so far no known cause.

I’m wondering if anyone who is a Christian that went through this can explain how they understand this.

Why would God allow drug addicts, sexual predators, abusers, ect. to have healthy children and not my husband and I?

At the same time, the thought of they’re not being a Heaven that my baby boy is in, or the thought of not being together for eternity in Heaven breaks my heart.

I never thought I would struggle with an internal belief conflict like this…..

I don’t know what Im looking for. I guess I just want to know how other people found faith or peace

TW- LC

I recently lost my son (stillbirth at 36 weeks on 08/25/26). We have two beautiful living children and this was going to be our last. My husband was happy to be done with 2 and I wanted this last baby.

Now my husband can’t imagine going through this again. Our second baby had crainosyntosis (requiring skull surgery at 3 months old). So we have now had two babies with HUGE complications.

I truly understand his fears and believe we probably will
not get pregnant again.

I have spent the last year envisioning raising three babies together and being a family of five. How do I accept this new reality? It seems like a lot of people talk about how TTC or having another baby has been a part of their healing process.

How does one heal without that element? Does anyone have any experience with not trying for another or
not planning to?

TW- Living Children

My son was born sleeping at exactly 36 weeks on 08/25/26. We held him for 15 hours until he was taken away. He was 6lbs 7oz and 19.5 inches long. Just as long as my other son and 2 oz smaller than my daughter. He was so close to being full term. I’m still having a hard time accepting that this is reality and that I will not have him in my arms ever again. My daughter and son won’t live alongside their little brother. They won’t grow up together.

I don’t know how to move on. I don’t know how to go back to just filling juice cups, doing dishes, laundry and just the monotony of every day life. I have two beautiful, perfect living children that need me. I don’t know if I’ll have another baby or if this is the end of that chapter for me.

I don’t want to see or talk to anyone besides my husband. All of my friends have infants or are going to be trying to conceive soon. I think I am also trauma bonded to my husband because he was the only other one who met our son. I want to be with him all the time, in the same room. If he has to do something outside then me and the kids are going out and watching him. I’m terrified of when he goes back to work and I’m alone all day. I’m a stay at home mom and my other children are 2 and 3. We usually have multiple play dates a week, but I can’t even look at another baby at walmart without crying so I think park and play place dates are far away in our future.

I think I want to have another baby for a redemptive end to this chapter of my life, but I don’t know that my husbands heart will ever be ready (and that’s totally fair).

Our first son has crainosyntosis….the statistical chances of two healthy relatively young parents having one healthy baby, one baby with crainosyntosis (requiring skull surgery at 3 months old) and then a late preterm still birth is ONE IN 1,030,000……

How do you move on from here? How do I grieve and be a present mom for my other babies? How do you take the chance of having another pregnancy? When does it get easier to breathe and wake up in the morning? Does it ever?

TW- Living Children

My son was born sleeping at exactly 36 weeks on 08/25/26. We held him for 15 hours until he was taken away. He was 6lbs 7oz and 19.5 inches long. Just as long as my other son and 2 oz smaller than my daughter. He was so close to being full term. I’m still having a hard time accepting that this is reality and that I will not have him in my arms ever again. My daughter and son won’t live alongside their little brother. They won’t grow up together.

I don’t know how to move on. I don’t know how to go back to just filling juice cups, doing dishes, laundry and just the monotony of every day life. I have two beautiful, perfect living children that need me. I don’t know if I’ll have another baby or if this is the end of that chapter for me.

I don’t want to see or talk to anyone besides my husband. All of my friends have infants or are going to be trying to conceive soon. I think I am also trauma bonded to my husband because he was the only other one who met our son. I want to be with him all the time, in the same room. If he has to do something outside then me and the kids are going out and watching him. I’m terrified of when he goes back to work and I’m alone all day. I’m a stay at home mom and my other children are 2 and 3. We usually have multiple play dates a week, but I can’t even look at another baby at walmart without crying so I think park and play place dates are far away in our future.

I think I want to have another baby for a redemptive end to this chapter of my life, but I don’t know that my husbands heart will ever be ready (and that’s totally fair).

Our first son has crainosyntosis….the statistical chances of two healthy relatively young parents having one healthy baby, one baby with crainosyntosis (requiring skull surgery at 3 months old) and then a late preterm still birth is ONE IN 1,030,000……

How do you move on from here? How do I grieve and be a present mom for my other babies? How do you take the chance of having another pregnancy? When does it get easier to breathe and wake up in the morning? Does it ever?