u/Inevitable_Shine3487

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I got initiated into shambhavi last month..After 11 days into mandala i couldnot do it twice the 12 th day so I restarted my mandala on 13th day. Now today again after doing it 6 days I missed my evening practice again.

Everytime I start doing my sadhana seriously I feel I get more vulnerable.

I loose the power to defend myself. I keep listening to what people say..I cannot reply strongly I dont know why. And since 4 or 5 days I am facing something very strange.

I am getting connected to few of my friends old and new..I can see they really want to help me in my situation. I dont know why I look as if i need lot of help for them..even small small things they are trying to give me advices.. for example

One says dye your Hair maintain yourself properly. The ponytail not suiting you. Leave your hair. Why are you doing pottery.. why dont you go back to your old work.

When they come to our place people are literally like.. why did you keep this bed here. Maybe that photo should not be kept like that. Why are you sitting like this why are you doing like this..after replying to all the questions patiently ..and i snapped at one point..then she said

you are doing your mandala why are you getting irritated. 🤔

My first thoughts i felt at this point was like like I dont want to talk to anyone. Just shut up and sit down and look into myself ( i saw ina a video Sadhguru saying this...when you are having any issues to resolve dont go around and talk to everyone.. just shut up and sit down, you will find the answers)

And when I dont do this tje

doubts i get are should I stop doing my sadhana as i am loosing myself..and unable to hold my self together. Why do we loose our strength when we do our sadhana. I feel we are breaking all our walls down..so everyone coming to us as if we are ready to get attacked.

But at the same time I feel so joyful internally ..the joy which can never be replaced. Hope I am making sense..because I am like getting bombarded with advices example : as to how to even how to breathe which i am unable to answer them...this vulnerability is also giving me some unexplained joy inside.

One way i should be happy that they are trying to help me in their own way.

And the solution that I just got while writing all this is

" In is the Only way out "

See you all again later in my next post....now sitting down with MOM 😄😍🙏🏼

🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🌼🌺🌷🌹🌸💐