My adult sister refuses to grow up and our relationship is suffering.
Hey all my apologies ahead for the length.
TLDR: Adult sister is a dreaming freeloader living in my house rent free and I can't wait to move out.
My (28m) sister (21f) is still without a license and still refuses to follow through with any real job.
Mommy drives her everywhere almost without a thought, then complains to me about her later on. My sister is SURE that her social media accounts will take her off into stardom, that's if she doesn't become a professional wrester first (give me a f***ing break).
Since she was in her preteens, my sister developed this love for pro wrestling, which is completely okay. Idolizing stars and the production that comes with it, always talked about when she got older "I'm gonna train here..." "I'm gonna be signed there..." "I'm gonna join move here..."
Thing is, she's done NOTHING to prepare for it and that is not an exaggeration. When she was 10, she was given a cell phone without any restrictions and has been shut in her room ever since. Now all she cares about is cosplay, wrestling, twitter and fortnite. She's never trained, let alone set foot in a public gym, she doesn't have any kind of comprehension on even how to workout. She has to be constantly reminded to do her chores which always leads to meltdowns and personal insults, acting like putting the dishes away neatly is such a monumental task. Everything with her is so half assed unless it involves one of her interests above. What set me off today was her bathroom trash. It was grossly overspilling and instead of taking it out, she was pilling the trash as high as it would go. I asked her to take it out, but she said "Hold on let me wake up first." This was near 11am. I forgot about it for a couple hours and went back to check. She was still in bed and the trash still there. I said nothing and took it out myself. She noticed because she went to my mom to ask about what chores she could do which she NEVER does. Only when she's on the chopping block is when she takes any kind of action.
The only "work" she's ever done is filing for my mom and thats maybe 4-5 hours a week? She also sells bracelets but has made about $20 and its been about a year since she started. She then boasts on twitter about how she has 2 jobs and is sooo tired from working, its absurd.
She lives at home for free and is at home more than my mom and I. My mom helps with the utilities and internet and I think that is so unfair that my sister contributes nothing but consumes the most.
When I came home from the military a few years ago, I offered support. Offered to teach her driving and even to take her to the gym and show her the ropes, but I was told (more like yelled at) "NO!" by her and never gave me a reason.
I figured I can still help so I've built a home gym in our garage with a bike, elliptical, treadmill and a weight set with a bench and all. Its been set up for almost 2 years and I can count with one hand the times she's "used" it.
I say "used" because the most she's ever done is use the bike when its unplugged. I explain to her that she wont get much results unless she plugs it in and adds resistance and that was the last time she's touched it. However 2 weeks ago she showed me this workout and diet plan, I was impressed and encouraged her to stick to it. The next day she walked the treadmill at level 1 for a little more than 15 min and stopped and that was that. She then doordashed Mcdonalds, I wish I was lying.
But noooo she's going to wrestling school this December!!! At first she was going after graduation in May 2024, then it was October 2024, that came and went and the "nEw DaTe" was summer 2025. When THAT went, it was December of 2025, then summer of 2026. Then just the other day she was talking to my mom about how she's going December of THIS year and that set me off. This particular school is in a city 3 hours away btw.
Before I could say anything, our mom told her flat out that she wasn't going to drive her and the look on my sisters face told me that she legit expected my mom to drive her every week.
She came to my room almost teary, telling me how she wants to go to that school but "I don't know how I'm gonna get there." I just said get your license first, prioritize. But she got mad and slammed my door, fleeing to her cave. See, when I constantly get these responses, even when I'm actually trying to help, it totally burns me out.
That all being said, Zillow had been my most visited site. Our plan was for my mom and myself to go in on a large house/property with either a guest house or one of those "next gen suites", but at this point, I want to separate myself from her as it I can feel my blood pressure rising day by day and my mom has her own life so I dont foresee any improvment.
We ALWAYS try to meet her in the middle, yet she hardly gives and inch.
I hear her yelling at the TV daily while playing fortnite into the late hours to where I always have to tell her to quiet down. She only comes out to ask what dinner is going to be and when she doesn't like it, she literally demands doordash money from mommy. I just f***ing can't with her anymore.
I'm about to leave for work and currently she's playing fornite at near full volume yelling and screeching at her friends online. I'm counting the days where I can sell this place and live on my own again. I was doing my late father a favor, but the monster him and my mom created is NOT my fight.
Cheers all, appreciate any kind of feedback or encouragement lol.