u/Infamous_Orb672

So like we met some new people last night. Some important context is that I am not someone who passes as a man. I am not someone who wants to pass as a man. These people know I am trans, are okay with it and would definitely be okay with her. Our safety is not at risk in this situation.

I am nonbinary. I've made it clear a lot that I am not a trans man. She almost solely refers to me with he/him which is kinda funny cos she is a lesbian.

I'm kinda okay with he/him. But it's the barest minimum. I prefer they/them. When she only refers to me as he/him other people assume I am a man and it feels fucking icky.

Yesterday, there was this dude who kept making honestly inappropriate comments but he was referring to us as gay men.

I have NEVER felt like a man and it does NOT affirm me or my gender whatsoever.

But also I don't want her to be misgendered. It gives me secondhand dysphoria. She's a beautiful woman and I love her.

She still thinks that people he/himing me is affirming to me even though I have told her that that is not the case and is like, "i don't care what they say about me, I was just happy for you"

I don't want people to see me or you as a man! I'm not a gay man and neither are you!

I HAVE told her a lot that I am not a man and am far more comfortable with they/them.

I genuinely don't know how to get her to take me seriously or to use they/them more frequently or to get her to stop using the excuse of "oh well, at least they see you as a man" I'm not a man!!!

So like my girlfriend (24) is getting evicted and was asking her parents if she could store some things at their place(she's moving in with me).

They really want her to move back in with them though and gave her a list of things she'd have to do to be able to live with them.

At the bottom of the list they stated that I (they also misgendered me) would get in trouble for having her move in with me with the apartment complex, which is silly, because her roommates were her sister and her sister's boyfriend and her sister's boyfriend wasn't on the lease.

Luckily, her parents don't know my name or what my unit number is, so they can't tattle, but also, I'm going to add her to the lease once we get a bit more situated.

The list included a few more things than what I'll mention here but these are the things I wanted to bring up:

Haircut

No nail polish

No involvement with transgender friends

No personal tv

She's been growing out her hair for probably like 2-3 years and she loves painting her nails, surprised it didn't say anything about makeup or hormones though, maybe they don't know about hormones? Also my girlfriend isn't on hormones yet so it doesn't really make a difference.

She's literally 24, and btw, I am the transgender friend. We've been dating for about 7 months, I don't know if her parents know, but it seems to me that they likely do because they've seen us together 2 times and it wasn't really that subtle, at least one of those times.

And she wasn't upset about the tv thing and thought it was funny because like, do they think she's watching transgender television?

Anyways, I thought this list was hilarious and I'm glad that my girlfriend gets to stay with me and doesn't have to go home and be forced to detransition.