r/trans4every1

How long do heatwaves last? It has to end eventually.

Apparently I had a deficit in summer clothing because I have been having to cut up shirts and sew tank tops, and it still doesn’t feel like enough.

One of the minor annoying things about being trans is clothing, replacing your wardrobe. I thought I was done replacing my wardrobe and was in a good place for the most part, but I’ve been having to make alterations just to avoid heatstroke. I can’t help but think about the process of replacing clothing, about how expensive it can be, and about altering clothing.

I just keep on thinking about how being able to sew and tailor your own clothing is such a useful, maybe even necessary skill for trans people. I think every trans person should learn how to sew, at least basic sewing.

I’m also thinking about what I should make next for this weather, and how lucky I was to get top surgery before this summer. I know a lot of people wearing binders are at an extreme risk of heatstroke, especially considering how most people who bind wear black and thicker fabrics to hide their binders.

Is everyone surviving the heat okay?

I’ve been on testosterone for 3 years, and life before and after is like a difference of night and day. I mean obviously transitioning has been wonderful psychologically, and Im much happier and more confident in how I look. But physiologically, I’m doing so much better. It’s to the point though where if I forget to do my shot for a few days, or god forbid a whole week, I break out in full facial acne, irritability, anger, extreme exhaustion. I feel literally ill without it. Testosterone is so magical but also curious if anybody else has such strong reactions

I hate going on Facebook in general but especially going on and seeing random posts from family members being transphobic. Like, that's what you decide to post? Not about your kids accomplishments or like your garden or what you thought about a movie you watched? You just decide to casually throw out hateful stuff, I wonder if I came out if they'd feel bad or double down

On top of that a close friend, the only person I've told I'm trans, knowing I'm married, decided to hit on me and ruin our friendship so now I'm feeling even more alone

And on top of even that I'm in the middle of moving houses, I feel like I'm suffocating

He’s having a hard time with my pronouns and was having a hard time with my name till he started using Lyn which I’m okay with but id really like to help him remember ig the only thing I can do is just correct him when I can??? Is that all I can do? Also i don’t think i need to say it but he is really supportive of me and I’ve only just come out to the rest of the friend group and now that it’s not really a secret anymore he’s now having a difficult time because he’s still wired to be like I have to call her he cus she isn’t out

I'm trans masc non binary, with a generally masculine presentation. I got top op but I'm no HRT, so my looks is masc-ish but my voice is fem-ish and I got no beard. In my language I use masc pronouns as it doesn't have neutral pronouns.

People usually default to feminine pronouns for me, but a lot of people already told me they were really unsure about it until corrected. Some told me later on that I looked like someone they would completely avoid pronouns until they knew for certain the correct ones. A cashier once was so confused that she alternated between masc and fem pronouns in a 2 min interaction. This confusion honestly gives me euphoria, but I'm sure it's not as pleasant for others who are afraid to hurt me lol

Usually when people misgender me I think hard if I correct them, if it's worth it or if it's too much trouble. If it's a short interaction or if it's potentially dangerous, etc. So sometimes I don't correct people. In those cases, I really don't care when people keep misgendering me, I know it was my choice to not correct them, but sometimes people find out my correct pronouns and get all flustered saying sorry and how I should have corrected them.

This happened once more this week, I am doing very temp work (2 afternoons) at an art exhibition guiding classes of children, which also makes me less willing to correct as children sometimes put my pronouns in showcase and it takes away from what I am actually showing them. The artist didn't know me previously, so he defaulted to fem pronouns, but midafternoon a classmate of mine (who is related to the artist) arrived, privately corrected him, and he switched to masc pronouns mid presentation. My classmate later told me that the artist was unsure of my pronouns but was afraid to ask me directly, and how I should have corrected him. I just told her I thought it wasn't worth it to correct him and make a big deal out of it, but I still thanked her for correcting him.

As a side note: I am 100% okay with people correcting others on my pronouns, specially if they know the person being corrected. People who know my correct pronouns usually know to not out me unless they know I'll be safe and are ready to be by my side if shit happens lol

I should have felt safe enough to correct him, I saw people working in the art gallery who looked queer, artists are pretty much always very accepting, it was obviously a safe space, but I still felt unsure as I didn't know anyone around (I didn't even know my classmate would be there). I just don't know how to explain to people that correcting pronouns outs me and that can potentially be dangerous, specially if I don't know anyone around and I'm in place I've never been in. I understand them being flustered, trans people do make it a big point about how misgendering hurts, but I also am truly okay with the sting if I think it can be way worse.

Is there a "hidden" way I can make sure it's safe to correct? Or maybe a way to aliviate how others feel about having misgendered me?

At times my pronouns feel like knives in my heart when my old pronouns feel like nothing logically he him should feel worse then she her but at times I feel like she her hurts but I wish I was called that I think it’s a self worth issue when ever I hear pronouns that I don’t feel I deserve it makes my stomach drop

I’ve gotten most used to my name I love when people call me Adalyn but there’s still a nagging feeling that feels weird like hearing it like shocks me sometimes idk it’s very confusing sometimes

If I ever just get flowers from my partner or just from anyone I’ll genuinely probably cry cus that’s honestly one of the most affirming things ever also if I was given a birthday card just saying female pronouns like I’d be sobbing

I had set a notification for a personal one year milestone last year, and my mom, who I had never linked my own account to, got a calendar notification. She asked me about it, and it could've been genuinely dangerous if I wasn't already out to her as trans. Why did she get this notification despite me never linking our accounts?