u/Infinite_Wafer_1224

What I am about to write could honestly be an episode of Downton Abbey or something out of Great Gatsby so I’m going to use character names from both in place of real ones. Prepare to clutch thy pearls.

(Ahem)

My friend, Lady Mary, had a peculiar bf for a while named Tom Buchanan (if you’ve seen/ read Great Gats, you KNOW where this is going). He was, you might say, overactive in private and didn’t take good care of himself. Lady Mary wanted out of the relationship very badly but didn’t want to hurt his feelings because he would claim he was “sensitive”…. I told her over and over how this man was NOT for her and how she needed someone with class. She agreed and finally worked up the nerve to break it off with him.

He didn’t take it well at all. He called her, texted her and sent voice messages that sounded way too desperate for his own good. When she dismissed him and blocked his number, he remembered we were all still connected on Snapchat and tried again only this time, he decided to bring me into the picture, saying if he can’t have her he’ll have me instead… I said I wasn’t interested and he said I would like him if I gave him a shot… he doesn’t even bathe on the regular! Ew!

Lady Mary and I talked it over in private and decided we would both use his nonsense to turn the tables. Together, we decided to make it look like a mythical third person who was better than us was interested in him. I used my middle name for the fake third and pretended she had been eyeing Tom for a while but couldn’t be sure if he was trustworthy or “clean”.

Tom took the bait but misunderstood the assignment severely. He thought we were suggesting a spicy party and was down for it. We didn’t know what to do next because it took both of us by surprise. We scrambled for excuses and I said that the third person was shy and didn’t want to have anything to do with it. From how weakly I worded it, he realized this was a sham. So he pressed me for answers, wanting to meet up in-person until finally Lady Mary broke in and said I wasn’t even nearby for an explanation because I was in Rome.

(I wasn’t)

He was stunned. He asked what hotel I was at. I played along and said I was too busy to share that information and wasn’t even available for a FT call because I was with (tooting horn) a hot Italian man, a glass of wine and a plate of gnocchi! I was busy! I was living my life! He didn’t believe me so I sent a stock image of a Rome cafè (somehow he accepted that). To bring it home, I claimed Lady Mary was joining me in a minute with her Italian hottie and we would all enjoy Rome together and take a gondola ride down the canals, never hinting when we would come back, if ever.

Tom didn’t know how to take this. He questioned why we tried to lead him on with a fake person earlier. I wanted to tell him it was because of everything and that he smelled but Lady Mary recommended we don’t give him the satisfaction of a reply. We stayed elegantly silent, save for a picture of the canals from the pov of a gondola boat ride (thank you Google).

Needless to say, Tom never reached out again. Lady Mary and I have never been to Rome, but it might be nice to go one day.

Forgot to add: it’s now been over a year and Lady Mary has a new bf who is totally Man Material (so proud!🥹) I am living my best life in a new state. Tom? We still don’t hear from him but Mary and I still giggle about this time to time

The day began like any other: sunny yet drab, hot and humid. Summer was something else in the Sunshine State. Jimmy MacDonald was pursuing the jobs wanted section in the newspaper. “Hmm Dog sitter, Gardner, teacher, nanny, librarian, Rocket Scientist, psh! I could do THAT. I didn’t earn my PhD in Rocket Science just for kicks.” He said to his pig, Percival. With big tired eyes, it looked up at its master and grunted in response. Jimmy was happy Percival didn’t question his authority as a farmer or a rocket scientist. In fact, the animal was quite content being a wholesome member of the genus Sus and munched on an apple that dropped from a tree.

“Oh, Percy,” Jimmy said forlorn, “how I wish I could make something of myself in this world. Being a farmer is good, but with all the new rules being made up over how I make money doing what I love, well, it’s gettin kinda ruthless. And on top of it all,” he said looking over at his pool, “the cleaners were supposed to come yesterday. Just look at that awful green mess!” Sure enough, the pool Jimmy had built four years ago for his sister had turned green after the last rain. Bugs filled the surface like a buggy film. Jimmy huffed. “I gotta make a call.” Percival heaved himself up and followed Jimmy into the house.

“Hello? Acme Pool Cleaners? Yeah you were supposed to come over and clean my pool. What happened?….. you didn’t know? I scheduled the guy for yesterday! ……. Well, I guess I will have to find someone else. Oh? You can do this job? Have you had 10+ years of experience specifically working with pools in Florida and Florida bugs? Together? In a pool?”

Percival was baffled. It sounded like his master was interviewing someone but couldn’t be sure if it was that or if he had finally overturned the apple cart. The porcine pet waddled over and nudged Jimmy’s leg. “Huh? Oh, I’m sorry I popped off Percy.…..(to the phone) huh? Oh yeah I’m still here. Yeah, sorry I’m just frustrated with all of this. Yeah, yeah I know computers can be annoying. Well, thanks for understanding. I’ll see the guy tomorrow. Ok, bye.” He heaved a sigh of relief. “Percy buddy, you are SO lucky you’re not a human.”

Percival was well aware of this fact. Never in all of pigdom did he ever wish to be anything different. His gaze traveled to the trough where he noticed a lizard catching flies. His ears pricked as he realized this could help Jimmy. He trotted over. “Hello lizard, he oinked. “Hello pig, what do you want?” Percy grinned. “I want you to help my master. In return, you get the biggest feast of your life. Deal?” The lizard stared. “You mean, all-you-eat dragonfly and gnats? For life?” Percy shrugged. “Well, whenever it’s in stock but yes.” “Lemme at em!” The lizard went to town on the pool and ate every single bug that was inside. The lizard was so stuffed it groaned. Percival squealed for Jimmy who came out and gawked in disbelief. “The pool! It’s clean! Who-…. A lizard?… huh. I could make some money with this.”

And just like that, Jimmy began his most successful career: Jimmy’s Pool Service. It was so successful that Jimmy had to hire help. Anytime a potential hire asked if they need experience, Jimmy would say “hell, if a lizard can do this, you don’t NEED experience.”

This happened in my old house which has since been sold and updated. It isn’t a super shocking encounter but it’s always stuck in my mind, so here we go.

Back in 2005, I was around 4 or 5 years old. Being younger usually means having a wild imagination but in this case, what I saw turned out to be 100% a ghost. I was sitting in the dining room and watched a cat walk out of my room. It seemed shook that I saw it, and walked in the kitchen where my mom was doing dishes. She’s seriously allergic to cats so when she didn’t start wheezing, something was up. We watched it walk through the back door. Not out, THROUGH. It turned out to be a ghost.

I genuinely thought a real cat had made its way into the house. I checked my room which had two windows. One was open, but when you looked out, there was quite a drop down because I was over the basement entrance. There were no vines or any way for a cat to climb up unless it had super powers. (Mom was anal about keeping the house presentable) the only other window in my room was perfectly placed for a cat to come in, but it had been closed all day. I went back to the kitchen and opened the back door, searching for the cat. I called for it, looked under the steps in case it hid, but no luck. The neighbors dog didn’t even bark. I went back inside and asked my mom about the cat. She saw it, but it was a bit transparent to her. She didn’t know I could see it too. Once that was established, we kinda just went back to our normal activities.

I never saw this cat again. At the time, we were broke and didn’t have money for pets. We also didn’t have a pet door bc why would we?

Fun fact: the house was built by my great great uncle and his friends soon after ww2 out of whatever they could find. Math wasn’t great but they got solid doors for every room.

It started at 8:30 in the morning.

I was in my bed minding my own business, dreaming of the Fantasmic show at Disney’s Hollywood Studios when suddenly, I hear a knock at my door. It’s my mother. “Honey, I need you! Quick! THE POOL.”

Quick as a flash, I arose from my slumber and dashed to the back deck. There he was. El Pato of Muscovy. Fat. Bumbling. Pooing. The flower pot was askew. Feathers were scattered.

I was baffled. How did he come in? Who opened the lanai door? My gaze transferred from the aquatic invader upwards to the top of our lanai. The panel hung downward and waved in the breeze like a flag of defeat. I stood there, mouth agape. “The fool,” I muttered. El Pato had gone and perched atop our lanai, only to catch his webbed foot on a small rip in the screen, careening into the flowers yet to be planted like a feathered torpedo. I grabbed a broom and pool net. They were my only weapons.

Cautiously, I crept towards the invader. He backed into a corner. Fearing for his life, he pooped on the deck. Twice, then thrice. My mother was fearful he would enter the newly cleaned and filtered pool. Hah! This was El Pato of Muscovy. A touch of water and he would surely drown! Nay, he avoided the pool as best he could. Then he began to edge closer to the water. “No! No!” We pleaded desperately to the oblivious water fowl as he opened his wings and attempted to fly away, only to hit the screen and plummet to the other side of the patio. I cornered him again. Suddenly, his companion El Quackador was upon us. He too perched on top of the lanai, but not for long as I struck the metal siding with my broom. It deterred him and he flew to the ground.

El Pato knew not where his cousin was, despite being in plain sight. I sighed, exasperated, and opened the other lanai door, hoping he would waddle his little body out of our patio and join his friend on the outside. He was, unfortunately, distracted by the little pot of mint we keep in the other corner of the patio. He examined it for what felt like hours, then let loose another bowel movement. Cursing, I vowed to grab him by the neck and fling him out the door if he didn’t move it in the next 30 seconds. Alas, the sentiment never made it to his level of cognition. I splashed water at him. He pooped in response. He opened his wings and repeated the same method of travel back to his original place at the beginning of the saga. He landed just within reach so that my broom would block him effectively from a repeat performance 30 minutes earlier. He waddled gracefully behind the grill and out the door, where his friend awaited him with fleeting confusion. I closed the door, grabbed bleach and a wad of paper towels, and cleaned the places where our illustrious duck relieved himself.

I am unsure if the level of stupidity was limited to El Pato or if it was the sheer fact that both he and El Quackador were of the Muscovy family but I will say this. Never again will I try to feed the ducks.

So… I may have a doppelgänger. She is in my old hometown and I live in another state far far away. My best friend, bless her, still lives in the old hometown and we text and call whenever we can. Recently, my bsf has been seeing, I kid you not, an exact duplicate of me when I was in my college days wandering around the town. This copy/paste of my better looking self approached her today and said she knew her from a car show. (I met my bsf at a car show. They are very common in that town and have their own season.)

Dumbfounded, my bsf asks her name and she gave my name as well as my last initial as a response. She then FOLLOWED my friend into a store saying she knew her but my friend refused to believe it and began interrogating this girl right there in the store. Apparently she went to the same school as I did and claims she knows her from a car show but wouldn’t explain any clearer and walked away before my friend could ask her more questions.

Now, I pride myself on having a relatively steady head on my shoulders. I am not easily fooled by pranks or stories (my bsf tried to fool me once and it failed most emphatically). So neither myself nor my friend are able to put one over on each other even if we tried. What throws me off is the information that girl gave my friend. \[EDIT\] Ok so for clarity, I DO NOT believe I have a doppelgänger here. I want to believe it’s someone screwing with my friend but honestly I don’t know what to believe, that’s why I am asking the People of Reddit for insight. I want to thank some of y’all for your strong opinions on this case. I am trying to see if there are any loose ends I can pull apart and hopefully debunk.

So I pose the question: is this a case of a doppelgänger or is this a strange case of poor identity theft for a twisted reason? Is she a tweaker or is she just loony? I will post updates when I get them.

Fun fact: I had a similar occurrence happen when I was in high school. Apparently I was seen on floors one and three at the same time. Either that was true or I was just really good at climbing the stairwell.

Another fun fact: my old hometown is located in Pennsylvania where everyone holds on to the supernatural like Linus and his security blanket.