u/InfluenceFar878

Nagbaba ng memo ang company namin last week na effective September, we are only allowed 1 WFH day per week. This comes after 5 years since they implemented this dahil sa pandemic. Prior to this, nitong January, binago din nila yung policy na we are not allowed to file leaves around our wfh and not allowed to wfh consecutively. Eto palang naging challenging din.

Completely para sa field based employees ay tinanggal na din ang wfh namin. Supervisors na lang namin yung allowed na 1 wfh. Kahit daw pwede naman imonitor yung mga activities remotely or hindi kami magfifield, need pa din namin magonsite sa office.

Dahil nga field based kami, lagi kami nasa field or nagttravel and sobrang laking tulong sa pahinga ng WFH. We are able to do our jobs just fine kahit may WFH ngayon binawasan pa nila.

Lalo ngayong tagulan, ang daming employees ang nakikinabang sa wfh tas babawiin na nila.

Di rin makareklamo kasi hindi naman daw yun mandated ng DOLE and we should be thankful na inooffer pa nila yung wfh for the office based people kasi other companies nakafull RTO na.

Noon pa man ng pandemic ayaw nila iaappfove yung wfh setup ngayon ayan binabawi na nila. Paurong talaga tong kumpanya namin.

**So it’s been 3 weeks since this happened (**[**https://www.reddit.com/r/lostafriend/s/WiBVht02Ik\*\*\](https://www.reddit.com/r/lostafriend/s/WiBVht02Ik)\*\*)\*\*

This happened on June 21, his birthday. After my apology I deleted my instagram.

I’ve avoided him at work and would only chat him on Slacks for work related matters which was very cold and formal.

That same week we had a team building event on the 26th. We were supposed to take the same car but i decided to go separately.

On the 28th, Sunday, he sent me an imessage “Hello” and i only read it the next Monday. Asked him if he needed anything but he didn’t reply.

On the 30th, I finally decided to open my instagram. Isaw that he followed me again. I wuickly shut it down because I felt overwhelmed.

By July 2, we had a business trip with other colleagues and we never spoke during the whole trip. If we needed something about work, we would chat on Slacks even though we were just a feet apart.

I also opened my instagram again and I saw that he replied to my apology on the 21st as well. He told me not to panic, not to overthink, he wasn’t angry but….he also blocked me.

The next day while having lumch, he sent me an imessage, a joke about how the food we were eating tastes so bad. He asked me to go buy food at the airport, sat next to me on the plane and kept chatting eith me about non-work things like nothing happened between us.

Before we parted ways, I handed him his gift. He texted me to thank me. I didn’t reply. He then sent another follow up text a fee hours later telling me he appreciates me. I still didnMt feel like replying. A few more hours, he sent another text telling me not to overthink anymore, he isn’t angry at me and that i shouldn’t make my world smaller at work.

I replied and told him idk what to feel about the block and how contradictory his actions feel but that he doesn’t need to unblock me or anytjing if he still isn’t comfortable. He never replied to that.

When we’re together, he continues to tease me, be playful and act like nothing happened.

I also feel hurt, the block feels like a slap in the face and a final nail in the coffin although I know he set his boundaries and it is part of the consequences of my actions. His actions have been very confusing for me and it’s been at the back of my mind since last week.

I have been friends with my co-worker for over 3 years now. We’re pretty close and hung out outside ofwork.

I have been diagnosed with PDD and GAD. Through therapy, I was also able to identify I have anxious attachment, I am suffering from limerence with this coworker which makes this event 10x heartbreaking for me.

Here is the whole incident:

We have a new member of the team, let’s call him A, call my coworker and friend B, and their mutual friend C.

When A was introduced, I saved his number for work. When I opened Instagram, I saw A was already on my suggested probably because of the number. A and B were already mutual friends and A also seemed familiar. I told B casually about it and told him “oh you guys already know each other?” And he said no.

C is B’s best friend. I’d see him tag B all the time in B’s shared stories. I went to C’s profile and his account is public and has thousands of followers and I saw a lot of B and C’s photos.

Now one of my biggest mistakes is whenever I didn’t hear from B at all, my anxiety would act up and I’d try to find certainty by going to C’s profile and see that they hung out together. This has become a very bad habit that I tried hard to stop. I would block, unblock C just so he wouldn’t figure it out.

Now the reason A seemed familiar, was because I saw him in one of the photos of C where A, B and C were on a trip. This is where I wondered why B said he didn’t know A prior but I didn’t push it anymore.

Until this Sunday, I was surprised that B removed me as a follower and also unfollowed me on Social Media. I panicked and messaged him why.

He then told me that I went too far in trying to prove that he already knew A that I even checked out C’s profile. He told me he was uncomfortable, that he really didn’t know A and that I wasn’t normal because i went too far.

Idk how he found out but I didn’t deny it because it’s true. I apologized, haven’t opened my instagram, deleted the app and completely avoided him at work except when I needed to talk to him. I feel not only deep shame but terrible that I broke the trust of someone I care about.

Had I not been called out, I wouldn’t even have stopped.

It seems I am ireedemable because of my actions and while I terribly miss him and hurt by what happened, the last thing on my mind is to even fix this friendship. I feel like I should stay far away from him and not cause him anymore discomfort.

I am ashamed and regret everything.

There’s someone I really like at work which as I went through therapy, found out it’s limerence. I am anxiously attached too.

Long story short, I ended up stalking the guy’s friends whenever I don’t hear from him. We follow each other on instagram and he has this really close friend whose profile is on public.

I would check that person’s stories and see him hanging out with friends then block the friend so they wouldn’t discover i checked his stories. It would temporarily soothe my anxiety. I knew it was wrong and disgusting behavior but i couldn’t stop it.

Until today, i noticed the profile of the guy I like popping up on my suggested and was surprised that he doesn’t follow me anymore.

I messaged him and asked jokingly why. And he said he was uncomfortable and it was normal for me to go that far to stalk.

I really FAFO.

I admitted my actions and apologized. I am ashamed of it and regret it so much that I haven’t even slept the whole night.

My anxiety is on full peak.

But i’m not even seeking advice on how to repair our relationship, more of how to deal with this shame because it’s eating me up.

I’m a grown woman and yet i did something so immature.

_English is not my native language so this was written with the help of chatgpt_

I’ve been struggling a lot lately with anxious attachment and emotional dependency, and one piece of advice I constantly hear is:
“Don’t take people’s behavior personally.”

But I honestly don’t know how to apply that when there are observable changes in behavior.

For example:
- someone who used to be warm and emotionally responsive becomes distant,
- they selectively ignore certain messages (seen him scroll pass my messages)
- they reply and joke around with others while leaving you unanswered,
- they stop updating you about their life,
- or the dynamic clearly changes over time.

I know some of my reactions are definitely amplified by anxious attachment. I tend to overanalyze silence, monitor behavior closely, and tie closeness to my sense of emotional safety and worth.

But what I’m struggling with is that this isn’t purely mind reading either. There really are moments where I can see the distance and selective responsiveness happening.

I’ve made excuses. Maybe he’s just stressed and busy, which he did say, and doesn’t have the emotional bandwidth to talk to me but I can’t stop thinking it’s only selective for me.

So how do you stop feeling being singled out and take things out of context:
- “I’m unwanted,”
- “I’m not important anymore,”
- “I’m being abandoned,”
- or “this says something fundamentally bad about me”?

I feel like I swing between two extremes:
- either gaslighting myself into believing nothing changed,
- or catastrophizing the behavior into proof that I’m disposable or unlovable.

How do emotionally mature people hold both truths at once:
that someone’s behavior can genuinely hurt and feel personal, while also not collapsing emotionally or defining their worth around it?