u/Informal_Object_6006

Immediately after clearing highschool there were no finances to take me to college, I had managed to get a C+, which honestly wasn’t that bad despite kusomea day school.

All my friends came from financially stable families. After kumaliza shule ulikua unaskia so and so amenunuliwa gari, sijui nani amepelekwa afanye computer packages and driving, mwingine ametafutiwa job before ajoin campo.

Looking at myself I’d even cry juu sasa ata hio pesa ya computer packages hakuna. After 1 year kila mtu had joined shule, some were in JKUAT, Moi, Strathmore etc yaani mimi ndo nilibaki hometown pekee yangu.

Ata watu wakiniona wanauliza “Na wewe unajoin lini shule?.” Honestly nilikua nashindwa kujibu to a point I even went through a depression phase juu I’d feel everyone around me is miles ahead.

Anyway niliona hakuna hopes and decided kuhustle sasa. My first job was kuandikwa kuuza mtumba where I was paid 150 per day but with time nikaacha and opted for mjengo which was 600 per day, so weekly it’s 3,600.

Mjengo was far away in another area so I’d dress up so good, asubuhi ukiniona you’d think nafanya kazi ya maana then nikifika site nachange,navaa nguo za mjei nafanya mjei all through and jioni I take a shower, navaa poa and go back home. I’d lie to all my friends job nafanya juu I’d feel so ashamed.

Hio time I was hitting up on a certain girl from a very rich family, kwao walikua wanakaa a certain estate called Mona Park in Ruiru, ata yeye I was lying to her job nafanya juu sasa hangenikubali, she knew I’m working tao in an office.

Time tunameet kupewa goodies I’d borrow keja from a friend who was in JKUAT and pretend it’s mine, it was a nice furnished bedsitter.

Sasa there’s a time mjengo iliisha and fundi akapata another site karibu na hio estate, everyone kwa site knew I was dating the girl so wakimuona walikua wananiambia najificha hadi anapita na akipita unaskia “Weee 🗣️ kuja sasa ashaenda” 😂😂, they were so understanding.

Sasa makosa ilifanyika, one day sijawai sahau ilikua siku ya koroga na ilikua inafanyiwa mahali nje then tunabeba na buckets ama wheelbarrow tunapeleka ndani.

Mimi nikiwa hapo kumbe my shawty had gone for cycling na her siblings and friends from the estate, they somehow decided kupitia karibu na site na sijui.

Mimi nikiwa nimeinama nikienda kuchukua bucket niweke kwa shoulders we bumped into each other face to face, she was shocked 😳, said hi and akaenda, her siblings were also shocked especially her younger sister juu she used to know me.

Ata a week haikuisha akaniambia she can’t date me, I felt hurt juu I knew nimeachwa juu ya hio lakini sasa ningedo? That motivated me to even work hard and find better opportunities.

I thank God juu years later I’m where I want to be in life, with a stable job, travelling the world, making good money and living the best life.

Fvxk those dark days 😂😂😂

As a man ikifika a certain age you need to have sexual discipline and realize not every woman who throws coochie at you is worth sleeping with.

I remember in my early 20s girls would be so cold juu all girls my age were dating salaried guys and mimi hio time niko block trying to survive.

Years later nikiwa around 24 that’s when I started kushika pesa vizuri and I’ll admit I made a lot of mistakes juu sasa that time I could afford a good lifestyle, a monthly gym membership, well furnished house, expensive perfumes, good clothes etc.

It’s like women know when you have money, I went from chasing to now women hitting up on me.

Knowing how I struggled broke days I couldn’t resist, kila dem akikuja my way nilikua napita na yeye to a point hadi nilijiita kamkutano. It’s like I was on a Body Count Olympics and that shit made me not want any form of a solid relationship.

I had piled up wild numbers, at 26 I had double my age, by the time I came back to my senses and had wasted a lot of money and time chasing pleasure.

Now in my late 20s sleeping around doesn’t make sense at all and wouldn’t wish to go back there.

I think it’s a phase every man should go through in his early ages kushinda late ages but just make sure you won’t get sick.

Luckily I never got any form of infection or diseases.

I’m 28(M) quite fortunate to have found my path to make a huge chunks of money at a young age.

Growing up I knew the only way to win a woman is taking good care of her, sending her monthly upkeep, send a bunch of flowers, gifts 🎁 and all those shenanigans I’d see on the internet but in reality I realized that wasn’t adding up and my relationships wouldn’t survive if I stopped catering for all those.

For long time I’d actually support men sending their girlfriends money and I’d be so surprised when I meet men who say they don’t do that.

Now note this, relationships are transactional to some degree. I’m not saying you should never spend money on your woman, you should, but when doing that make sure you’re spending money around her not on her and if it’s on her again make sure it’s amount that won’t hurt you incase the relationship doesn’t eventually work.

If its dates take her out and pay for it. Make sure you’re enjoying the company and with that you’re able to create a perfect chemistry, you learn how to hold conversations and enjoy each other’s presence.

I came to realize when I was a fool who’d send women money for upkeep all my relationships would be very transactional and her bills would keep on pilling up, matter of fact I was playing husband role as a boyfriend.

That’s a lesson I learned the hardest way.

Most men believe women love them unconditionally and that’s the first sign of being naive. I repeat never believe that!

I won’t deny there are some good women who’d stand by your side when everything is going south but it’s very few.

So lemme jump to the story….

When COVID hit, my uncle lost his job. The organization he was working with laid off almost everyone.

Before that he was the uncle I could look up to sana, I’d enjoy visiting his place almost every weekend juu I knew that’s the land of milk and honey, his fridge was always packed (smokies, sausages, meat etc). Yaani nikiwa huko it’s like I’m on a vacation, I’d eat, sleep and ikifika time ya kurudi home ananipea fare, minimum was 1,000 na saa hio nalipa 40 bob. He was very stable.

On top of that he had managed to move his family (Wife and daughter) from rentals na akajenga a very good looking 3 bedroom apartment.

He also went ahead and gave his wife 300k as start up capital for her clothes selling business, which picked and was doing so well.

Losing his job found him time hajajipanga, matter of fact he had just taken a loan and fully furnished his whole house, he was in the midst of repaying it.

So now hapa ni double stress, hauna job and end month bills za home plus loan inangoja ulipe.

For the first time he started having issues with my aunt juu she’d complain anashinda home and we all know hio time kupata job was impossible, he was actually looking sana ni vile hakua anafanikiwa.

Issues became mingi to a point in the midst of it the wife called some family members and said “Mimi siwezi lisha mwanaume mzima na sitaendelea kukaa na yeye.” Mind you she was in a very stable position to stand by him juu the clothes business had became so good hadi akafungua another shop.

One day my uncle was called for an interview and vile alienda the wife found a perfect opportunity ya kuhama. She literally called lorry and cleared the whole house akaenda kujikalisha in a rented house. Only thing she left for my uncle was his clothes kwa corner ya nyumba, small mattress and curtain moja which my uncle was using as a blanket.

When he came back he was shocked and I guess that hit him so bad, for the first time in my life I saw him stressed to a point ata hakua anaongea na watu, kila time yeye ako in his own world. He lost a lot of weight akakua skinny excess. The family would come together kumuongelesha since they thought he might even commit suicide na wanamfanyia shopping ya foodstuffs zakupika.

Anyway nothing lasts forever, months later he secured a job, kidogo kidogo dusted himself na akaanza kununua vitu from the scratch one after another. By the time mwaka inaisha he had refurnished his house but this time now living as a bachelor.

The wife on the other end business ilianza kwenda mbaya and she started calling family waongee na my uncle akubali arudi but for him hakua anataka kuskia juu this marriage almost took him 6ft deep and remembering she left when he needed her the most akakataa completely.

As we’re talking he owns a trucking company and has multiple trucks on his name, he took loans, bought them and fully repaid. He bought a car and remarried last year.

The EX wife vitu zilienda vibaya to a point ata hizo shops zikafungwa in a way no one can explain hadi akarudi kwao ushago.

The interesting part is I heard alitafuta number ya new wife and she’s always threatening her ati alichukua bwana yake.

Awuoro….Some of you women!!!!

For someone to make me fall in love you have to go over me beyond to prove that. I’m no longer naive as I used to be when someone says “I love you.”

Me and this shawty were so locked in, literally we had the lover-best friend kinda bond, it’s where we’d talk and vibe about anything and everything.

With time I saw something that made me so skeptical and started questioning her. One day she told me she’ll be grabbing some lunch with her best friend, since I also knew her friend I was like lemme pay for that and sent her 5k.

As the norm akichukua cab she sits at the back but this time she sat at the co driver seat and took a story and uploaded it on the stories, she actually sent me the video as well. I saw this and was like “Mbona you didn’t sit at the back leo?” She couldn’t explain, I felt something fishy but didn’t want to question.

She had a trait of gaslighting me to being insecure when I’m questioning things and I’d avoid that fully.

Days passed, weeks passed and one day she called me she’ll catch up with the friend again. Since they were best friends huwezi shuku.

I remember that day I had posted us on my IG story. So she went and as the understanding boyfriend I was I told her to hit me up once she’s done.

Kumbe she didn’t catch up with the friend, she was with some lad at the mall.

Luckily or unluckily she passed by a certain shop and there was a guy who used to follow me but we don’t really know each other. Since he had seen her on my stories he quickly sent me a DM, he actually replied to my story with “Is this your girl?”

I said yes and he hit me with “You should check up on her, I saw her at the mall walking around holding hands with another dude.”

Ushaikua confused? I was losing it. I thought it’s mistaken identity and I told the guy to take a picture and send, he took the pictures, sent and zooming closely it’s her.

I remember when all that got to me I was at work, I was literally shaking holding my phone. I didn’t call I just forwarded her the pictures. She fully went on defence mode mara it’s a colleague they’ve bumped into each other etc.

Didn’t make sense to me and I said hapa I must dig in deep. I decided to go through her phone and that’s when I found out the bombshell 💣. All those stories of meeting up with her friend were all cooked up she used to meet with this lad and used her friend as a scapegoat.

You see even the video she took kwa gari? It wasn’t an uber it was his car.

I was so attached to her so even leaving the relationship immediately wasn’t an option.

I started messing around fully while looking for a perfect girl, and when I found one I dropped her without notice, she also got the news from her friends who saw me driving around with my new girl.

She tried to confront me and I was like “How the hell would you question me?”

If you ask her right now she goes around saying I’m the one who cheated, yes I cheated with a bunch of women but it was after I found out she was messing around.

Lesson is;

Always trust your instincts, you’re never wrong.

Through my EX girlfriend I met lads who were her friends and somehow we also became friends.

With time we even started hanging out, kila mtu anakuja na mtu wake and we’d do indoor drinking. Leo wako kwangu, next weekend kwa mwingine and so on, used to be like a rotation but mostly they’d prefer my place.

Before I met this girl I used to drink occasionally but immediately I started hanging out with this squad it became an every weekend thing.

All of us there had stable jobs and making it big. Drinking and hanging out was fun until Monday ifike and I show up at work feeling like a dead person, the weekend I was supposed to rest ata sikupumzika so I’d be overly tired.

With time I started avoiding this company then the issue was my then girl would still drag them to me.

Among us was a very brilliant lad who was cashing in a huge chunk of money monthly (350k), sober he was very okay but when he drinks he’s a completely different person.

When I met him he was okay but 3-4 months down the line amechange even the facial structures I guess juu ya kukunywa sana. You know mtu akikunywa it’s like uso hufura. I personally approached him and was like “Hapa something isn’t adding up and I don’t like the way you’re drinking.” It had gone from being a weekend thing to now an everyday routine for him and others in the group, personally I couldn’t keep up.

This lad went ahead and told others namkosanisha and all I had seen is a loophole where I wanted him to adjust, anyway mimi nikasema kila mtu afanye kitu ilimleta Nairobi and started fully avoiding hanging out with them. The girl I was dating had started sinking in pia and now I told her if she won’t change I’ll leave her, she was so chaotic and dramatic so akaanza drama unnecessary.

What I used to hate is how we’d blow money, there a random December I blew almost 250k and trying to account for nikapata yote ni drinks na starehe

Hapa sasa I was left with no option but to cut off everyone including her juu sasa we’re not on the same path of life and hio drinking kila weekend had started slowing down my productivity at work, social life and maintaining my workout routine.

Weeks after I duped everyone stories got to me that the guy had been terminated from his job. He had some savings I guess so akaenda fully drinking mode, he’d drink from asubuhi to jioni throughout the week. Months later the guy was dead broke and had no option than kurudi ushago where he’s an alcoholic in the village.

As we’re talking everyone in that crew lost their jobs, it’s just me and another lad who managed to exclude ourselves who are still going on.

I’m grateful I managed to get myself out of that circle otherwise my story would have been the same.

After being jobless and broke for 3 years (2016-2019) I finally secured a job. I had gone from being jobless to earning 24k a month.

Yaani I was super excited to be able to foot some bills na nabaki na few thousands kwa mfuko.

Immediately I got in there ata sikukaa sana and COVID hit and the company had few challenges with finances but still they’d pay lakini na delay kiasi.

Some workers started complaining how the company isn’t good, how kuna late payments and how they’ll even resign. Actually they started kuchocha wengine wafanye mass resignation and kila mtu including me nikadraft resignation letter.

The main culprit wa kuchocha wengine was a certain guy, he was ever complaining to a point I never wanted to be close to him. I hate watu kama hao ati when you sit all they talk about are the negatives.

I was the youngest in that organization. Somehow the pressure had gotten to me but when I went home hio jioni nikajiita kamkutano, I realized hapa tukiresign kila mtu anaenda kwake ama kwao, from hapo hujui watu wamejipanga aje in terms of savings juu looking at myself ata sikua na pesa. When I got the job first thing I did was kulipa some loans and kustabilize kiasi.

I knew if I make this rookie mistake ata one month haitaisha nikiwa sijarudi block, I took my resignation letter nikararua yote.

Next morning I got to work and told them mimi I’ve changed my mind about the whole move and wenye wanataka kuresign waendelee.

Almost 4 people resigned the same time.

What many didn’t know and I also came to find out later is, the guy mwenye alikua anachocha watu waresign had won a court case against his previous job and received 1.6M as compensation, so yeye already alikua somehow set. Others hakuna mtu alikua amejipanga.

A month or so the guy opened a gas business which eventually picked and doing well. Among the 4, one committed suicide months later(I guess ni mashida), the rest pia maisha iliwapeleka vibaya sana.

For us who were patient life eventually rewarded us.

My point is;

When making a decision, don’t let other people’s opinions dictate your path. No one knows the challenges, sacrifices and struggles you’ve faced to get where you are.

At the end of the day, you’re the one who has lived through it and you’re the one who knows what’s best for you.

In 2020-2022 I was in a serious relationship with this girl. You know the beginning is always nice but as things go on chaos zinaanza.

So I realized a certain pattern where she’d now keep her phone away and I quickly came to my senses things weren’t adding up and took it upon me to investigate.

While asleep I went through her phone and found out she was being all flirty with a guy I had once questioned who he was, she went fully on defence mode and ended up calling me insecure sijui narcissist or toxic. I connected the dots haraka sana and started planning my exit.

I left the relationship and a month later she was already dating. To rub it in she even sent the picture with the lad saying “You thought I’ll suffer? I’m doing good and loved right.”

I was tempted to reply but nikasema lemme hold back, I didn’t.

Months later she got pregnant and gave birth to twin boys, the guy decided to disappear and now she was left a single mum of two.

Around Friday I bumped into a message and opening it was a whole paragraph of her saying how she regrets and how she’d want us back together claiming we used to look good pamoja.

“Get back after you already have kids? Me?” That was my reply. You should have seen the disgust on my face.

She tried to insist that shouldn’t affect us ati if we genuinely love each other and I was like hell no I’ll pass that.

I’ve done many things in life but this one I’d never.

I once dated a girl from a rich family and let me tell you ilibidi nimejitoa.

I had gone to visit a family member huko Evergreen Runda and got introduced to her by my cousin. She comes from a political family and her father is well known in Kenya.

On my end me I was just a broke kid surviving and trying to navigate life. We’d chat and vibe and pole pole she accepted to be my girlfriend.

Sasa makosa ni mimi nilikua nakaa kwa kabedsitter huko sides za Ruiru, I’d feel some typa way even kumuinvite kwangu.

What do you mean ati msichana amenunuliwa hadi gari na amefunguliwa bank account where the father sends almost 100k monthly, time tunameet mimi nikipanda matatu, yeye anakuja akijidrive na after date anakudrop hadi kwako.

My only issue was she had very expensive hobbies and they were weekly, for me to afford that labda niuze kidneys zote nibaki bila.

Most of the time she’d treat me, mnaenda date na msichana mko same age alafu analipa bill ya 10k🙆🏽‍♀️, the pressure continued getting worser juu after a month of kujinyima all I could afford was date ya 2k.

I quickly realized hapa pressure itaniua and I had to run away, not that I didn’t love her but I felt like I was wasting her.

Kila mtu adate class yake tafadhali

I’ve known this girl for quite some time. She used to like me and somehow I liked her too. The only thing that ever got in the way was that she was already in a relationship.

With time she became my sneaky link and we were on it for quite sometime. Everything else aside, she’s pretty, she’s the typa girl we have insane chemistry with, we can talk for hours, she’d cook ananiletea food etc.

Sasa shida iko hapa…

They broke up with the boyfriend and now she’s been nagging me into dating her, I genuinely told her it’d be hard juu ya what was happening between us.

She’s the kinda girl who’d flaunt the boyfriend on all social media platforms but only me nilikua najua how nasty she is, if another person hears she used to cheat they’d fully defend her juu ata hakai.

My problem is I can’t trust her in a relationship juu kama she’d post a man and cheat on him, how guaranteed am I she won’t run the same game on me?🙆🏽‍♀️🤦🏾

I need your input here

There’s a time I went to visit a friend in his apartment and immediately nilingia kwa elevator I saw a lady walking towards it. I was like lemme wait for her, she came in, I said hi and that was it hatukuongea tena.

Coincidentally she was also going the same floor naenda. I jokingly asked her “Are you the one following me or am I the one following you?”

She laughted and asked if I stay there but told her I’ve only came to visit a friend. Another coincidence is my friend is the next door neighbor.

When I got to my friend I was like “Uyo dem ni nani?” and he told me wanajuana nikasema hapa lazima nipigwe through pass though vile niliona ni kama hataki nikaacha.

Weeks later when visiting my friend we met kwa gate, talked and exchanged number and since I had a bottle of JD I told her she can join us and have a glass or two.

Hours later she pulled up, we all had a drink listening to chilled music and vybing all through. She left and I immediately left to my place since the next day I had a busy schedule.

One thing she complimented was how good I smell and my body since I do workout, I’m not that buff but somehow athletic build and asked my friend why he doesn’t workout.

We continued to chat until one day I invited her kwangu. We were just chilling and sasa we’ve gotten comfortable around each other.

Out of no where she was like “Chunguza marafiki zako since people you consider your friends talk bad about you.” I was so confused until I insisted aniambie what she meant by that.

She pulled out her phone, went straight to WhatsApp and pulled chats between her and “my friend.”

Kumbe when the girl complimented me the lad wasn’t happy since it’s like he wanted her, he decided to make sure neither me or him will have this girl and by that he started telling her sijui najidunga and that’s why my body is like that, mara ati juu ya kutumia madawa ati I can’t perform, mara I have a lot of women.

What followed next was this lady asking her “Why are you interested in another man’s performance and telling me all this? again how did you know he can’t perform.”

He got pissed off and blocked her.

Anyway I ended up performing for 90 minutes, went extra time na penalties. She was even shocked 😳 juu somehow she had believed this idiot.

Anyway beware of ninjas like this, I had to cut him off.

If you’ll ever visit my place you better take even the sneakers, hoodies or clothes but don’t touch my perfumes.

So back in the days all I could afford was nivea men spray or a roll on and at times ata singeafford.

When I got my first job I bought a cheap perfume worth 2k and God knows how it’d give me confidence. With time when things started getting better I started upgrading pole pole.

The addiction kept on growing to a point I’d buy perfumes for different occasions. For work, for the gym, to run simple errands, important meetings, dates etc

Slowly by slowly I even bought a rack for perfumes only.

Jana I wanted to order a certain perfume and out of no where I was like ebu lemme calculate or even approximate the current collection and it summed up to 200k plus.

Perfume lovers, how bad is the situation?

M 28,

I know at times I write a bunch of shenanigans here but let’s have a real talk.

When you have nothing going on in your life family tends to be against you. At some point one of my aunt said I won’t amount to anything and how lazy I am.

So back in 2016-2019 I was jobless and so helpless. All I wanted was something I can wake up to, didn’t matter ata kama nitalipwa 5k per month, hio time uko desperate jobs hua hazikuji.

It got to a point ata family gatherings sikua nataka kwenda juu I’ll be topic of discussion at some point. My aunts and uncles would brag vile their sons and daughters wamepata big jobs mara wanalipwa 60k and so on, mara sijui nani amerudishwa shule kufanya masters, mara sijui nani anatravel abroad.

Anytime I’d hear kuna family get together I’d dodge ama nasema I’ll be busy but in reality staki kufanywa nikae failure.

My aunt who said I won’t be shit had a business and she’d opt to employ watu wengine than anipee job, I’d wish ata anaweza nipea some tasks ata kama it’s only on weekends ata nipate kathao.

I used to wonder if God has favourites.

Fast forward, the end of 2019 around November, a childhood friend connected me to a job where he was working, my first salary was 24k. I had gone from being jobless to signing a 24k contract, that night I cried myself to sleep. Yeah that’s how hard it was for me.

So now I had to take a loan from one of my uncles juu lazima I relocate, the aunt who said I ain’t shit went behind my back and started kunibackstab telling my uncle how I won’t pay back but my uncle was like “wacha nimpee kama zitapotea zipotee tu.”

I finally relocated, after settling down rumors got to me vile again she’s saying mimi siwezi survive hio kazi one year, I was like watch the space!

In less than 3 months I had repaid the 40k my uncle gave me.

By the time one year was over I was even promoted and now I was earning 38k. By the time the second year was over I was making around 50k.

By the time the third year was over I had crossed to 90k and now to where I am right now making a solid 6 figure.

I look back at my journey and get emotional at times, I can’t even explain.

I’m forever grateful to everyone who believed in me🥂 and to whoever is reading this don’t give up on yourself

Those words are still fresh and anytime I think about dating a single mum as a man without kids it gives me an ick.

Sasa wacha tuingie story…

I once dated a single mum who I actually thought she’ll end up being LOML. I won’t lie we had the best memories together and she was so fine, I mostly go for the looks.

At first I wasn’t comfortable with that but with time I don’t know how I got so comfortable to a point she connected me with the kid and we’d talk. The kid has a phone so he’d call me almost every day to discuss a bunch of nothings but since ni mtoto I’d entertain that.

I’m the kind of a person where if we date and you have a kid I wouldn’t feel good ukisidline mtoto.

On her busy days maybe when she’s working I’d tell her adrop mtoto kwangu we spend time and around afternoon hours I’d take the kid to the mall to eat and play games, actually most people thought that’s my son.

I’d get sneakers, clothes and anything else. Only part I was being hesitant on was paying school fees. I did like once or twice but the relationship started getting shaky nikaacha.

At some point ikafika birthday ya mtoto, I called a cake shop and paid upfront for a Spider-Man cake, almost 5k, went ahead and reserved a spot where they’ll go and celebrate with other kids paid kitu 10k then small small gifts.

A month or so down the line relationship got shaky kabisa, despite me and the mum not being in good terms I’d talk with the kid since ata yeye mwenyewe he’d call me. When the mum realized that she took the kids phone and blocked me.

2-3 days passed and this young lad hasn’t hit me up and this was so unusual, my messages too were undelivered with one tick so nikajua tu.

Hapa sasa nikaona this won’t survive so I withdrew any sort of help.

I don’t know what we talked about and she hit me with “Did I tell you to do all that for me?”

I felt some deep chwest pain shwaaaaa!💔 Nikajiambia I won’t even go back and forth, I sat back and watched the whole relationship sink.

From that one scenario I don’t think I can date a single mum unless amenizalia pia ndio we raise the two kids together.

Anything else aside that relationship made me realize I can a good father to my own.

I was having a conversation with a female friend, she’s a baddie and when I say a baddie I mean it, and she was ranting to me how men don’t want anything serious.

A man will approach her, take her out on dates, send her few thousands and when she’s ready to commit the man will disappear.

Since we do talk about anything and everything she asked me what might be wrong and now I had to hit her with the reality.

Her EX boyfriend settled for someone she didn’t expect, so she was like “Mimi ni mrembo, mbona alisettle na dem anakaa ivo.” To her she was like the boyfriend downgraded but I had to install something in her to understand a man’s perspective.

My first point was “put yourself in a man’s position, go to your IG and tell me if you’d personally settle for a woman like you when looking for something solid?”

Why I brought it out that way is because every photo of her on the profile is a thirst trap, she’ll either post her 🍑, her 🍒 or something else that’ll suggest and show she’s still looking for attention out here.

On top of that she’s always clubbing and at times I do bump into her videos shaking ass on those IG reels posted by club pages.

Most men, me included don’t have a problem with baddies but we only like them for short term fun. A man who wants to have something serious wouldn’t settle or even brag about such a woman.

It might sound harsh but as someone who interacts with men of all categories, have travelled enough and seen the world that’s the harsh reality.

I was recently in a talking stage with this girl, the first few weeks of us knowing each other were amazing but with time I started losing interest.

As a man I like initiating plans and also once in a while I expect a lady to initiate something.

When I met her we’d be outside all the time, dates and everything.

We were 8 dates deep and all the time I’d make them the best, I prefer fine dining so I’d take her to good looking places that offer 3 or even 5 course meals.

At some point I also expect a lady to initiate something simple even if it’s a coffee on her, not that I can’t afford it but it shows she’s considerate and thinks about you.

Sasa huyu what put me off was one day she wasn’t working but I was so she said she’d like to come and spend the day at my place even if siyuko, I was like cool, I gave caretaker the access card and told him akikam ampee.

Before I left the house I made sure everything is in order. Fridge full stocked, bed was made, bedsheets changed and house was very clean. On top of my bed I left clothes zenye they had been washed ndo nikirudi jioni I’ll fold them.

I even left a bottle of wine for her.

Vile alifika she was handed the access card and akaenda kwa hao. She came akapika, took naps and enjoyed her day.

What pissed me off vile nilirudi from work is vile alipika she left a bunch of unwashed utensils kwa sink (I had left everything clean), went inside my bedroom and instead of thinking what she will do with clothes ziko hapo she took a laundry basket akazirudisha so she can sleep and when she woke up she didn’t even make the bed.

I honestly texted her and akaanza zile za sijui sorry sijui what but I was like “You found everything in order why wouldn’t you atleast appreciate and leave my place decent.”

Ilibidi nimcut off tu because of that small scenario

I don’t know if I overreacted but I run a strict program on my end. I’ll take care of you and treat you well, knack you good but also you must be a decent person.

So I met this girl some weeks back, she’s so pretty I won’t deny that, slightly younger than me and she can actually hold a conversation. She’s actually my type.

A week later after tumejuana I invited her out, it was supposed to be a solo dinner date but I decided to tag her along anikeep company.

We went to Kahani huko Gem Forest. A nice chilled restaurant with top tier services.

Got the fine dining menu and tukadecide what to eat. I ordered some cocktails and told her to order whatever she wants, she didn’t order alcoholic beverage so akachukua mocktails.

She confessed how gentle I am, how she’s starting to like me and so on, I actually admitted I like her too.

Once we were done eating I dropped her kwao and went errands zingine. We continued to chat usiku and she told me she’d like to confess something

Hmmmm interesting I was like go ahead… 💭** **

She told me actually ako an 1 year old daughter, Ndo maana she couldn’t drink any alcoholic beverage juu she’s breastfeeding. That caught me by surprise, heeeh!!

She went ahead and said hataki that to affect us juu already she likes me but deep down as a man with no kids anytime I’ve dated a single mum it doesn’t end well plus I felt 1 year old kid is too young.

I honestly told her I don’t want us to pursue things further, we can just be friends juu I don’t feel comfortable putting myself in that situation.

As tough as it was I had to let her go juu wueeh!

Hope this will motivate someone out here

28M, I grew up in abject poverty where even affording basic needs in life was hard. Life forced me to level up at a very young age juu niliona no one was there to save me.

Nothing was more painful than seeing the kids I grew up with kwa neighborhood living good life, their parents getting them new shoes, clothes etc and on my end I had the same clothes for years.

I quickly came to realize pia kwa family you’re loved when doing good kwa life. All my cousins who come from stable families would be treated so good and mimi and my siblings we’d get treated like trash.

I’d question God sana why he has to make me suffer like this.

All I wanted kwa life is finish highschool nianze tu hustle any. Ata hio highschool we couldn’t afford, my uncle decided to take me to a local day school and nilisomea huko hadi nikamaliza.

At times I look back mahali nimetoka and just shed tears tu juu I never thought I’d make it this far.

There’s no manual labour job sikufanya from kuchotea watu maji to kuandikwa niuze mtumba to mjengo and that time I was around 18-22.

God came through for me and pole pole I started paving my way, took myself back to school, secured a better job and as we’re talking I can proudly say life has been so good.

The clothes I couldn’t afford I even ship them from outside the country, the shoes I didn’t have saa hii niko na rack full of them.

I’ve managed to take my siblings through school, I’ve bought land for myself, I have a stable job and a good income (6 figure to be precise)

It always gets better with time.

Poverty gave me PTSD though, I hate those dark days🤦🏾

I honestly came to realize most of this Nairobi “baddies” are broke in real life and they put so much pressure on normal girls trying to make ends meet.

One girl followed me on IG and from her profile I knew hapa budget yangu haitafika. Not that I’m broke, I actually make good money but from her highlights and the lifestyle she was living nikasema I’ll never slide hii DM, wacha watu wako na old money wacheze huko.

Hapa ni penye unatuma “Hi” before you realize you’re 20k less from that simple sentence.

With time she started liking my stories and one day akareply a story and that’s how we started talking. She was actually so cool and chilled.

I was tempted to invite her out but from stories alikua anapost nasema I won’t, what do you mean umepost pombe worth 350k in a single weekend and you’ll do that for the rest of the month?...

Mimi the furthest I’ve gone we spent 72k and the bill was split among me and 2 homeboys.

With time we got so close and now nikamjua inside out.

In real life she’s actually different from online. Kwa ground she didn’t have a job, was being hosted by a friend and even the drinks kwa club yeye hakuwai lipa, some Nigerians ndo walikua wanalipa.

It reached a point anaenda club, amenunuliwa expensive drinks akapost but in reality hata fare ya kumfikisha kwa nyumba hana so she’d call kuniambia nimlipie.

I actually did it like twice, spending a thousand or two is nothing to make sure she’s okay.

Through her I met so many baddies who were her close friends and it’s the same thing tu.

The lesson is;

You ladies don’t let social media fool you to go over and beyond, live according to your own means.

Beginning of 2025 the company I work for brought in a new colleague. Makosa ilifanyika is he got in there through the help ya one of the seniors, they come from the same village.

This lad was actually my junior and earning way lesser than me (I was making almost quadruple of his salary) but juu wanajuana na the seniors akaanza kiburi. He’d treat everyone like shit, he’d snitch on everyone to a point he made some colleagues resign juu the place was now toxic.

At my work we don’t have an issue with timing bora you handle the tasks at hand. So alianza kusema watu to a point the company introduced automated face/thumb scan systems za kuonyesha what time you checked in.

Personally we never used to get along since kuna time we got confrontational and I almost punched the shit out of him, so he was always on my case. He made everyone look evil and potrayed himself as the messiah.

At some point I even got a warning letter juu yake and it was something I hadn’t done, I was so unaware.

We later came to understand why he wanted everyone to leave and new people to come in, kumbe he was committing financial fraud and hakua anataka sisi old colleagues tujue how he’s chewing company funds and balancing mahesabu.

One day he stole almost 1.5M and wired it to his account, trying to balance mahesabu he left a slight loophole and that’s how the finance department caught up with him.

As we’re talking he’s serving a 6 months sentence and on top of that lazima alipe hio pesa.

Fuck that guy!!!