r/unhingedKenya

Nobody talks about how shitty it is, to listen to music then remember that one person singing along to it.

Move ka sniper no feelings.

Lil rant ... There's this one senior I had been eyeing for a while. He's 6'2, lightskin (not that it matters, I just wanna give you a picture), mini 'fro, lean skinny, has 8 packs (I ever casually touched his abdomen and that's how I knew), he's chill AS FUCK (came to find out he takes ashwaghandha and does zaa... Idk whether that contributes?), he's kind and so gentlemanly (it's not performative btw... He doesn't overdo it), wears glasses, veiny hands and everything... He's just SO ATTRACTIVE IN EVERY ASPECT OMFG .

At some point, we were put in the same department. I took the opportunity to become his friend or sth. At some point, when he was done with the department, he invited me to "hang out". We ended up going to his place, then shortly he fucked me. I had a boyfriend at the time so I was a pillow princess because I felt guilty 😭. I let him do everything. He also had a girlfriend (and still does), so he cheated asw. He asked whether we could be friends with benefits right before we fucked and I said "so basically cheating" and he said "yeah, cheating" ... I didn't really say yes or no. He also mentioned that we "can't afford any attachment". Then he went on to say that the possibility of us fucking again is very minimal (I assume because he lives with his gf and she's like always around). All these things were said before sex

Later that day after I left his place, I started having an obsession over him. After about 3 days, I revisited the whole fwb thing, and I told him I'm down. He agreed. I asked whether we could fuck twice so far, and he subtly turned me down both times. Saying "I'm a bit caught up but I'll tell you" then just not reach out again about it. This was about 2 months ago.

I'm still obsessed with him and I hate it 😭

He's just SO attractive,idk. Or is it that he doesn't want me ASM as I want him so it accentuates my attraction to him? Idk

I WANT HIM SO BAD BUT I DON'T WANNA LOOK DESPERATE CONSIDERING I ALREADY ASKED HIM TO FUCK TWICE AND HE TURNED ME DOWN 😭

TL;DR: Had a crush on someone then I got to know him. We became friends (or so I thought), then we fucked and then I developed an obsession over him and he doesn't seem to like me like that. Inaniboo!!! Like why can't I just get over him already 😭

​😂 I'm not a kadinyi. Ety "who's the lucky nigga, who got to hit before I did?"

My love. Life inanidinya, meaning I might be fucking busted (like something bad, not orgasms).

​(Wacha nkalale) Get off Reddit. Enough rants for a day after sabato.

​Fuck, kesho ni Monday.

Tumeachana. We would do it even during that time and paint the towels and curtains because he was a Man U fan.

Despite him not being endowed, I still stroked his ego and his head. But one random day kijana Mluhya akamisbehave. Alisema anawatch World Cup from 9:30 p.m. Friday hadi Saturday. He never reached out, kupiga simu gaidi haishiki.

Borrowed a phone kupiga, behold, nigga akashika. All I could utter was, "Kwenda huko, ng'ombe hii!" I hung up, sent a breakup text, but I didn't even use the 2 inches against him. Then I blocked him everywhere.

I overreacted, yes, but I have shut that door, na nimeachana na wanaume. Do Catholic nuns take in hoes that want to reform? 😂

Guys...I think I've officially lost the damn plot don't know if I had it anyway 😭😂😂

So for context dating as a bigger girl has already been enough of a headache for me. Half the time you meet idiot men who think you should be kissing the ground they walk on because they're "giving the big girl a chance." Nigga please. 😮‍💨😂

So tell me why I've suddenly started missing the STRESS of having a man, and yes I'm hiding my face in shame😭😭😭 That's when I knew something was seriously wrong. Now it's not even the saxophones, I swear I'm hearing the whole damn orchestra getting louder. 😭😭

There's this friend I've known for years. We've been very not platonic recently. 👀😮‍💨 But both times we were either drunk or on some 420 energy. Nothing happened sober and it's not that I'm trying to convince myself this is going anywhere.

The problem is...I don't even think it's him I want. 😭 I think I just miss kissing someone, flirting, being touchy feely, the whole experience...even the damn STRESS. What tf is wrong with me?! 😭😭

It got so bad I caught myself thinking about online dating and shit. 🤦🏽‍♀️ Trust me, I'm not proud. And for what exactly? I'm not even looking for a boyfriend...or am I? IDEK at this point. 💀

Am I just ridiculously sexually frustrated? Do I get a toy and mind my damn business? Ride this out? Or is this my sign to get back into dating even though I swore I was done with these men? 😭😂

I'm self-aware enough to know I sound insane, but a couple of puffs down and Reddit seemed like a phenomenal idea. 😮‍💨🤦🏽‍♀️...also....if this makes zero sense, blame the w33d and whatever hormones my body has decided to serve me today😮‍💨😭

I used to be a chronic gooner, not just a causal “Scroll before bed” guy. I mean a strategic gooner. I would mark days on the calendar like I was training for olympics, going on 3 week celibacy streak just to build up the “material” and then setting aside an entire weekend just to shoot up my room with ropes.

I’d have snacks, water, a dark room, and honestly I’d even burn incense or scented candles to make my degeneracy aromatherapeutic

The intensity was something else, So naturally I wanted it take it to the next level and I introduced breath play. Right at the climax I’d hold my breath for at least 10 seconds. Let me tell you the orgasms were so insanely intense that I briefly saw my ancestors. One time I booked a suite at the Sarova Stanley alone just to goon in style.

But there was a downside, I genuinely felt like I didn’t need a woman at all anymore, I had become this terrifying self-sufficient nuclear reactor running on its own waste.

Thank God I eventually freed myself from those shackles. And now that I’m broke, I look back at that Sarova booking & feel very stupid.

Anyone else who has been in such a dark place before?

Let's hear it!!

I’ve been considering taking Ashwaghanda cause sometimes I just feel like I need to do this life emotionally disconnected from everything 😭Lakini I’m scared of the side effects and withdrawals and worst of all dependency like is there another way for a girl to be nonchalant? 😂😂

Nimenunua loaded fries CJs wameniuzia chipo beans 😭💔Like ughhh😭small shit like this gets to me aki na Sina nguvu ya kujam nikacause chaos huko

Looking for a place to stay in Ngong for one month

Hi everyone,

I'm looking for someone in Ngong who would be willing to let me stay with them for about one month as I start a new job.

I'm currently unable to afford moving costs and a house deposit. Once I receive my first salary at the end of the month, I'll contribute half of your monthly rent, so I'm ideally looking for someone whose rent isn't too high. I'm also clean, respectful, and happy to help around the house with chores.

I'm open to staying with either a female or male, as long as it's a safe, respectful environment. I am female.

If you think you can help, or know someone who might, please send me a DM. I'd really appreciate it.

Thank you!😊

(In regards to a post I won't tag).

You'll stone me.

Do you hear men who budget for umalaya wakicomplain about it? Do you hear how people talk of their preferences? Niggas are all over calling anyone who mentions wanting someone financially stable a gold digger in the name of "to grow pamoja." Sikatai, but why do you make it seem kama kutotaka broke man ni shida ama some big deal? Let girls be.

They are playing the victim huku and acting as the jury in some cases.

​They are suckers for richer men, as if they don't call other men "boss" or "mheshimiwa" ndo washikiwe mzinga, etc. puh. I know right, get off the high horse jomba, mzee whatever. Get your shit together or go get it fucked, mkundu iko sawa it's also a hole isn't it?

​Mshinde hapa acting all high and mighty. Get off the high horse.

I've got so many questions this Sunday afternoon bana. How does an uncircumcised penis look like? Is it better than the circumcised one?

Most folks on reddit are very much against circumcision and equate it with FGM for some reason. But In my whole lifetime I don't recall ever seeing an uncircumcised one. So for those uncircumcised bandits tebu tell me, just for research purposes.

Do to the events that have transpired, I hereby formally apologise to the love of my life.

Sorry baby🫡😅

I once f with a guy just a few hours after meeting him. Afterward, I questioned whether I was a loose woman, even though I knew deep down I wasn't. Sometimes it happens. My worst was a guy I met like 5 minutes ago but we had talked like 30 minutes ago on my phone so not a complete stranger but I didn't care about that one.

Guys, what's your take on meeting a girl you've been talking to and hitting it off on the same day? Damn. I asked myself: Did he think I do that with other men too? Should I have slowed it down? But a woman gets horny too and wants sex. What did you expect when I sent that text telling you I want that d. Hm.

Why do some people make it feel like it's a crime to enjoy sex, making it seem like you lost something just because the guy Don't come at me with that spiritual stuff; I've dissected enough of that.

Have you gotten yourself in such? What about in an orgy?

Just discovered this dj called DJ Hol up on yt. If you love chill music ebu try. Mnipee pia recommendations za your favourite dj's

What if we just block all the unnecessary wastage of time and just flirting and when i finally get that slippery thing i move on like nothing happened.

what if we just be open let our inner desires come to life what iffff