I'm literally so desperate rn. Anyone who has gigs mimi ata feet pics nitauza😄😂😂. Need quick cash nibuy medication (antipsychotics) by Monday before nianze kufyat lol.
So kama you have something i can do please lemme know. TIA
Came on here juzi nikitafuta fwb. Na leo nimekuja na testimonyyy. Nishapata bwana😗
Will invite y'all to our wedding.
I feel like everyone gets depressed and having a depression diagnosis is just unnecessary. Juu wdym my psychiatrist decided to put me on some dumbass meds because I'm a little sad? As if everyone else isn't? I'm spending thousands of shillings every fortnight for these meds? I'm undiagnosing myself and stopping my meds cold turkey. Nimeanza kufeel ni kama najifanya na kuna watu wako na real ass problems. I'll come with a review after a week or so. Unless I'm actually sick and off myself before then lol😄😆😆
I need some really cool medieval films to watch.
I found my old diary from when I was 20-22 yrs old so around 2020-2022, and I feel sick! I used to have like big dreams of travelling and seeing the world, wanting to further my studies blah blah blah. I even remember at my old job i had a colleague, she was 27, tell me that she no longer had big dreams and her only dream was to get married and have kids. Nakumbuka wondering mbona hakuwa anataka more in life and it sounded so bizarre to me.
Now here I am, 26 yrs old, ndo nimeamua kurudi shule for a degree, I no longer have a dream to travel anymore juu it looks and sounds impossible rn, I'm jobless, ata ni bahati wazazi wamejijengea otherwise that would have added kwa my list failures😂😂😂. I spent a lot of time strategizing my life and forgot how get off my butt and work towards the life I wanted.
I'll be graduating at like 29 or 30 and will probably be an intern at that age😭😭. Like I'm so mad at myself for thinking I had time. Wueh. Anyways, if you read this and you're in your early 20s, jua hauna time. Utaanza kusema "ooh ata in 5 years I won't be 30" you'll wake up one day and see just how fast hizo miaka hurush😮💨. Now let me go burn this diary and start finding ways to fix my life ama I'll come on here again in 5 years when I'm 31 crying about the same shit! Ciao
I am starting to hate my grandmother. Once upon a time she was literally one my favourite people in the world but now that I'm getting older and still in my mom's house, she's really getting on my nerves.
So I'm 26 and sometime last year, I had a mental break which caused me to quit my job without a back up plan and leave nairobi and go back home. I've been suffering from psychotic breaks from like 2020. My parents know about this and I've been on medication and working closely with health professionals. Now, only my parents know of my condition, we've kept it a secret to prevent stigma.
My mom pushed me to get a second degree during this period I'm home juu tbh siwezi jikalisha saa ii. I enrolled online classes which I've been doing since the beginning of the year. Now let's talk about my grandmother (side ya mom)
She treats my mom kama personal bank yake.. anataka pesa za kulimishwa, anataka pesa ya chama, mara church kuna harambee she'll have my mom's name as a guest without even consulting her, pesa ya house help.. vitu tu mob, na mind you my mom isn't even her only child she's the 5th born of 7. Her eldest brother who is extremely wealthy, has cut a majority of them off juu they love to leech off of him.
Once sister mdogo wa my mom said "wacha pesa ya diana(my mom) itumike juu ako tu na mtoto mmoja". So most of her siblings don't even work. Anyways back to the situation at hand. My grandmother has been saying things to hurt me indirectly. Juzi she called my mom to send the driver amuendee ampeleke bank juu she needed to make some withdrawals and asked if I could accompany her. I did.
Then came back home with me juu she didn't want her son who stays home ajue she has money. So I'm making lunch ananicall and she asks why I'm home, I tell her I went back to school, akauliza "so mtoto wangu anakulipia school fees ukiwa mzima? Mbona hujaenda kutafuta pesa zako uhame? I was getting really triggered nikamnyamazia and continued making lunch. Last straw " saa hii unafaa kuwa umeolewa na ukuwe na watoto, si kukaa home kama mtu amepotea njia". Little does she know i was in a very toxic relationship a while back and the stress caused me to miscarry.
Finally nikimpakulia food " na vibaya sana unatumia pesa ya my daughter na hizi shule haziishi" so I got mad and told her as long as I wasn't asking money from her she should really mind her business. In my irritation I was yelling and coincidentally my mom alikuwa ametoka job for lunch so she met me seething in anger and quickly de-escalated the situation and asked my grandmother to avoid telling me such things.
Now my anger comes from I know she's telling me these things juu now that I'm home and in school and we all know how therapy is freaking expensive not even counting how much money we spend on medication and the online jobs I do don't even pay much, my mom has significantly reduced the amount of money she sends my grandmother. Who isn't even poor, hapendi kutumia pesa zake na for some reason she blames me. And funny thing since I graduated with my first degree in 2022, I've always had jobs ni vile last year my mental health got bad fast.
She even had the nerve to compare me to a cousin of mine who I don't even talk to juu she really bullied me time I went to stay with her around covid time juu hotels hazikuwa zinakubalisha watu kukaa huko and I had a few physical classes. Mind you other than my mom paying for my accommodation huko, like I literally never spent any of my cousin's money and a while back she stayed with us as my mom was paying for her school. She would literally insult me and then borrowed me 8k yenye hadi wa leo she has never returned. So we have some weird tension, this isn't half of the reasons whe have a strained relationship. Story for another day. Now my grandmother will me like " heh, Beatrice aliniletea heater, yeye ndo my favourite juu ananisaidia" whole time I'm like okay what has that got to do with me tho?
My granny is so passive aggressive and I don't even make an effort to callnor check up on her and she'll always say that. Complain vile I don't make an effort yet she makes me miserable as fuck
Forgive any typos.