I’ve found out the extent of his addiction
Me (21F) and my boyfriend (31M) have been together for 3 years. I never knew about his porn addiction. He had mentioned he used to watch it but he stopped since we were together. Fast forward 2 years. We have a baby and I caught him jerking off in the bathroom as soon as he got home from work. He swore it was a one time slip and it wouldn’t happen again. And it was something he had struggled with in the past. I was broken. (And 6 months postpartum) I felt so betrayed. I’m a stay at home mom whose sole responsibility is to raise your child and you come home to do that. Anyways. We struggled with that and I never really got past it. I stopped brining it up. I checked his phone periodically. And left it at that. I tried not to make my inability to get past it continue to affect our relationship. Well a couple days ago I checked his email and he has had random log ins into his twitter account. Constantly changing his password. Well I found that off bc he told me he didn’t use twitter anymore. I didn’t want to bring it up but I did end up mentioning it. I know I shouldn’t be going through his stuff because it’s an invasion of privacy and I’m just asking to find stuff but it’s just something so constant I think about every second of everyday and I can’t help but just CHECK. So turns out he’s been watching porn again for “about 3 months” but “not jerking off”. Just logging on. Watching it. Logging out. And deleting the app so I don’t see you still have it!!!! On top of other issues I think im out of energy to fix this. We went to our first therapy session and i don’t know. Is it worth the time??? Will I ever be able to trust him again??? Do the thoughts of “is he watching it” do they ever go away????? I know I need to leave. I guess I’m just wondering if anyone has had ANY success in couples therapy. Or how it went.