u/Initial-Street-9669

I recently graduated high school, I afforded a grad party where alcohol was involved and I drank. A good amount.

I have lots of friends, I always have. I’m also kind of an asshole so I’ve gotten a good amount of people on my bad side (I know that sounds cringe) but you get the idea. So once the party died down my friends started to leave I was mostly alone and drunk, I guess people I had fucked with noticed and took advantage. I was drugged and raped afterward. Woke up at one of their homes

My friends won’t talk to me anymore which fucking sucks. So I don’t have anyone now. Now I feel like an even bigger asshole. Usually im social with people around me and lately when I go out im silent. This happened around 2 weeks ago no

I recently graduated high school, I afforded a grad party where alcohol was involved and I drank. A good amount.

I have lots of friends, I always have. I’m also kind of an asshole so I’ve gotten a good amount of people on my bad side (I know that sounds cringe) but you get the idea. So once the party died down my friends started to leave I was mostly alone and drunk, I guess people I had fucked with noticed and took advantage. I was drugged and raped afterward. Woke up at one of their homes

My friends won’t talk to me anymore which fucking sucks. So I don’t have anyone now. Now I feel like an even bigger asshole. Usually im social with people around me and lately when I go out im silent. This happened around 2 weeks ago now

I have always had an issue with my femininity, I’m intersex for context. I used to identify as trans male before I knew this. Lately I’ve been so much more comfortable with my femininity. I’ve been wearing dresses and skirts, doing my makeup, and presenting as traditionally feminine.

Though the last few days whenever I wear these things that bring me joy, I just wanna be ruined, I want disgusting eyes on me. I tried putting on my favourite nightgown tonight and cried for hours because of how I felt in it. I’ve had past experiences with SA and r*pe so I’m guessing that has something to do with it.

I wish I could feel better with my body and the previous femininity I used to love. But now I want it taken advantage of.