I’m a 28F looking for more lesbian/ queer friends! I’m very outgoing, I like talking about different topics, social issues, current events, life, ANYTHING! I’m definitely not a dry texter and I don’t mind being on the phone either! My messages are open, let’s chat!
PS: I’m open to traveling!
I just broke up with the first woman I ever been in love with and man I’m sad as hell. Me (F28) and my girlfriend which is now my ex (F26) have been together for a year and 6 months. She identify as lesbian. I use to identify as bisexual but after being with her, I know for sure that I never want to date a man ever again so I guess you can say I’m a later in life lesbian now. She’s the person I came out to with my parents. My whole family knows her and loves her but we broke up. It was me who initiated the break up. I feel hurt, angry because I’ve been feeling so unheard these past few months, I feel like I gave it my all. I lost myself in process, I’ve been depressed, gaining weight (because I use to stress eat a lot with her and she fed into those habits literally) so I know it was for the better. I just can’t help but feel guilty. Maybe this was the wrong choice? Maybe I should’ve gave her another chance? She told me just last week that she wants to marry me and I know it’s genuine but I just don’t know why she didn’t want to change her ways? Sorry I’m just rambling. I need to vent. I need to let this out. She’s always been the avoidant type. She likes to dodge those serious conversations. She can get disrespectful and in return it’ll trigger me and then I’ll start acting disrespectful (which is so wrong on my end). She lacks emotional boundaries, like say if I just need a moment to cool down, she’ll keep trying to reach out. But whenever she needs space, she’ll keep texting me and texting me even after she told me she needs space, she gets mad when I don’t respond. But when I do, she flips the script on me and say I don’t respect her boundaries so why should she respect mine when I ask for space? Yeah it was extremely toxic but man when it was good, it was amazing!! She was my best friend. We did everything together. We had so much fun. We shared so many laughs. We traveled together and shared great memories. We bonded in ways that I’ve never bonded before with anyone. She showed me parts of myself and my personality that I felt like I was never truly able to discover before. Our connection was so deep. I’m going to miss that girl like hell man but I know leaving her was for the better.
EDIT: the straw that broke the camels back from me is us having a conversation about me feeling lonely because she works a lot and that’s not her fault entirely. I do have friends that I hang out with but not so much. I try to have a life outside her but I became so codependent on her. But anyways we were having a conversation about it and it turned into an argument because she felt as though I was attacking her when I really just wanted her to put more effort into spending time with me. I felt like I’ve imitating all of our dates recently so I just want the energy in return. Btw, this happens often to where we argue a lot after I vent to her because she ends up being so emotional closed off that she’s dismissive. But she kept telling yesterday that she’s not the person for me but in the same breath said that I will never find someone who will put up with me and love me the way she does. It’s a lot. I may keep making edits as I’m thinking about what more should I add so I can give better context but yeah…