r/blacklesbians

I just want to know since I saw this topic on twitter. The tweet was like " i had to cut this dyke off because i found out she was making weapons for the government" or something like that. Would you date/pursue a relationship with someone who is in the military or defense contractor? I know people have a problem with the US Military as whole..predatory recruiting tactics in poor brown and black communities, literal weapons manufacturing, etc. How do y'all feel about this?

hey yall, for reference my gf and i are both 20f. two beautiful black virgo women (trust we bump heads like every week 😭😩), and we began speaking about a trip to puerto rico about a month ago. literally planning to buy tickets, watching tiktoks, talking about what we’d do, etc. i was excited. very shortly after this, she asked me to be her girlfriend officially after 6 months of dating.

she’s been dealing with personal issues and under lots of stress since she just graduated university, which we’ve also been speaking about and im always here to listen and support in the ways i can. she knows she can always come to me about absolutely anything that goes on in her crazy head.

we hang around the same friend group and they are planning future trips in september (my birthday month) and so on that she is agreeing to.

so the other day she says that she would like to put puerto rico ‘on the back burner’, because she’s dealing with a lot and has a new set of responsibilities since leaving school which i understand. she has to book a trip back to her home country to deal with family issues during late summer as well. she also says she’ll be in a better financial position and have more free time.

i really wanted to go though, and i felt like i deserved a chance of enjoying myself this summer rather than waiting around for my girlfriend to have some free time. i’m always working during the summer and staying put up, depressed. i went ahead and booked one round trip to PR, and am getting everything else together as time passes. my girlfriend is obviously upset because we came up with the idea together and it’s as if im leaving her behind. i get why she’s upset but also, my sake of happiness doesn’t necessarily depend on her all the time!! how do yall feel about this? am i in the wrong? should i cancel (probs not lol)? go somewhere else?

When identifying as lesbian and including nonbinary people, what are people’s opinions about being with AMAB nonbinary people?

Not to define these people thru their AGAB, but i feel like people can categorize “lesbian” as someone interested in women and nonbinary people that are AFAB. I feel like this nulls the purpose of being nonbinary in general but I’m wondering if people believe it means you’re not a lesbian?

I personally don’t care but I just want opinions? I’m beginning to dislike labels because it seems like I’m trying to strictly define my behavior when I haven’t done anything yet.

I also know it’s different for everyone. I just want other perspectives.

I did a quick search in this sub & didn't see any posts about threesomes!?! Curious what you all's XP has been in them -- how were you propositioned? Were you attracted to both or only one other party? Would you do it again? Tips?

This week's hot take is served. Chime in with your thoughts.

I’m a late bloomer (I lowkey hate this phrase cause what does it even mean 🤣) and every time I talk to a woman I’m attracted to, I become… friendly. Like VERY friendly 😭

The thing is, I’m naturally a very friendly person and I’ve always had a lot of female friends. I barely even have male friends, so I do know how to talk to women comfortably. I can talk for hours, ask questions, make people feel comfortable, connect emotionally etc. That part comes naturally to me.

What doesn’t come naturally is turning that into something romantic/flirty.

I never know how to make it clear that I’m attracted to someone without feeling awkward or like I’m forcing it. I get nervous initiating or making my attraction obvious because I’m scared of making someone uncomfortable or embarrassing myself. Then later I realize the conversation probably came across completely platonic even though I was very attracted to her.

Now I’m spiraling wondering if I’m even into women because flirting doesn’t come naturally to me, even though I don’t want to date men at all.

Did anyone else experience this when they first started dating women? How did you learn to flirt/initiate without feeling fake or awkward?

i’m not looking for relationship advice, just some advice on if anyone has dealt with this. i’ve (26f) been with my girlfriend (26f) for almost a year. we’ve had our ups and downs. i guess i would consider myself bisexual, although she is my first relationship and first girlfriend. my girlfriend is a lesbian and a stud. i was on her phone and i saw she had been flirting with a guy. there was a few private pictures sent from the guy, nothing sent from her side. but it kind of confused me since she had recently mentioned still being weirded out by me dealing with men in the past. i told her im not even interested in being with a man. she too has no interest in being with a man. i confronted her about it and she said she was bored, but i told her that ive never been bored enough to sext a guy and i’m literally bisexual. i have no intentions of ending the relationship for my own personal reasons, but is this normal? i would never shame my girlfriend if she came out as bisexual, but likeee?? i’m confused lol. i talked to a girl friend of mine who is straight and i asked if she had entertained a woman. she said yes, but she was 19. she’s 23 now.

thoughts??

My vagina doesn't look the most appealing. It's unattractive as hell. Do women care about how it looks? I don't even want to have sex because of how it looks. Its not pretty at all.

look, women are socialized to be the ones that get approached by men and letting men take the lead. except we’re lesbians, ain’t no man here, which means it’s on EACH OF US to make a move

approaching women isn’t nearly as scary as your anxiety makes it seem. like anything else, it gets easier with practice. but in order to get better YOU HAVE TO PRACTICE

practice sliding in the DMs of girls you find attractive online. practice giving compliments to pretty girls you see in person. practice introducing yourself to people at events. bring a friend who’s extroverted and will help you get conversations with strangers started. practice offering to buy pretty girls a drink. do it even if you’re scared, do it while you’re scared, just do it!

you have to TAKE ACTION !! no matter how small, practice taking that first step. then that second step. that looks like following up after you get someone’s Instagram and actually DMing them. that looks like giving compliments to strangers you’ll never see again. that looks like holding eye contact with that pretty girl from across the room at least 3 times and then signaling her to come over to talk to you if you’re too shy to go up to her

seriously, you need to TAKE CHARGE. repeat after me: CLOSED MOUTHS DONT GET FED

yes it’s easier said than done but it’s not gonna get easier at all if you never do it 🫡

hi hi DC resident here and I know a bunch of y’all are pulling up for DC black pride so here’s some tips to help you navigate DC better

METRO & BUS
- download the Transit app (green and white logo) - the most accurate app to get metro and bus times, I use it daily to get around. the metro map isn’t hard to learn but can be confusing if you’re not used to taking inner city trains!
- metrocards are $2 and can be refilled an infinite amount of times. can be used for both metro + bus
- METRO STOPS SERVICE AT MIDNIGHT ON MOST DAYS AND 2AM ON FRIDAY-SATURDAY SO PLAN ACCORDINGLY. some bus lines are 24/7 but the late night buses come around every 20mn or so
- it’s gonna be rainy throughout the week so allot yourself extra time to get places

BRUNCH
DC don’t play about brunch. get your reservations in ASAP if you haven’t yet

NATIONAL GUARD
they’re still around, they just stopped carrying rifles. expect to see them in the metro stations and especially around downtown. they usually travel in packs of 3 to 6. just don’t pay attention to them.

MUSEUMS
anything Smithsonian museum is a free national museum. some require timed tickets in advance (the African American History Museum for example). definitely check out the African Art museum if you can because they have an African LGBTQ exhibit and it’s awesome! you can go on the Smithsonian website and see all that’s available

I also recommend the Museum for Women in the Arts - not free unless you go on a community day (check the website!) but it’s cool stuff up there too

PRICING
Imma be honest…. DC ain’t cheap. do expect to drop a lot on them drinks ($10 for shots, $15+ full drinks on average). if you plan on drinking a lot I definitely recommend gettign your own bottles and pregaming or sneaking them in if you can lol

Expect Ubers to be overpriced, especially late night after a party, and even more so since it will be a rainy week!

HAVE FUN BE SAFE SEE YALL OUTSIDE :))

Because I watched it yesterday and it was amazing!!!

https://www.reddit.com/r/Petloss/s/jUjc8GNfSo

Update since my original post linked above:

That post was from last December. It’s May now.
Since then, we’ve only spoken twice, and both times I was the one who initiated contact. I called on their birthday—they didn’t answer. I called again a few days later, and they did answer. They told me about what they did for their birthday, including hanging out with other people.

We haven’t spoken since.

For context, ever since their dog passed, I’ve been the one reaching out every single time. I’ve tried to be understanding because grief affects everybody differently, and I know losing a pet can be devastating. That’s why I gave space, checked in gently, dropped off food, etc.

But at this point I’m starting to feel less like “they’re grieving” and more like I’m being quietly pushed aside. I understand not having the capacity for a friendship for a while, but it’s confusing when nobody actually says that and I’m left trying to read the situation myself.

I don’t expect constant communication, especially after a loss, but I also can’t keep being the only person trying to maintain the friendship. Part of me feels guilty for even thinking this way because death is involved, but another part of me feels like if someone wants you in their life, eventually they make some effort too.

Am I tripping?

Woke up this morning aroused because of this dream I had. I was playing with myself and this girl said “you want help?” So I said “sure” (usually faces are familiar in dreams but I’ve never seen her before) she got on top of me, ass facing me and start riding me backwards. Her vulva against mine, her clit stimulating mine. The gushy sounds of us getting so wet sounded amazing. Her moans were beautiful and I remember how she smelled. It felt soo good. I haven’t had a wet dream in a very long time like in years so it kind of surprised me. I also don’t have sexual experience for real so it felt good I guess to feel that in a dream

UPDATE!!! 🥹 (refer to my last post!)

Y’all 😭 she came and it was AMAZING. I was sooo nervous at first, but after a few hours everything felt so natural, just like when we first met. Somehow it was just as good as the first time, and we had such a beautiful weekend together.

We spent time together, went to dinner, made memories, and one of my favorite moments was when she literally named all the things she loves about me (I was smiling ear to ear 🥹). It honestly meant so much to hear.

The weekend ended with a soft goodbye!!! Safe to say… I’m down bad, feeling very grateful, and yes, I miss her already lol. But we’re seeing each other again soon 🫶🏽

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 10 months. We recently had a really bad argument over her relationship with her twins. I told her I thought it was weird. During the argument, she admitted that she faked orgasms with me. She’s my first real relationship where I actually tried to make a woman climax, so hearing that really messed with me.

Since the argument, we haven’t had sex for a whole week. I love her, but she’s so off and on with me emotionally, and it honestly has my head all messed up. I really don’t know what to do anymore.

Internet sisters i need advice. Should I come out to my parents? Technically i would love if it was all open, but they are super homophobic and im not financially independent but don't live with them currently. I intended to keep the secret until I was independent and even then, just show up with a partner rather than formal release but the choice was taken from my hands.

Backstory: about a year ago I told my cousin I was a lesbian. She said "okay" she didnt understand or approve of that "lifestyle" but she loved me no matter what. After that we never discussed it again and quite frankly I thought she had forgotten. Yeah. No. A few wks ago I had something traumatic happen and had to be hospitalized and she told her mom about me being gay who proceeded to tell majority of my maternal family who thankfully and unexpectedly were supportive considering how homophobic my own parents are. I know outing ppl fucking sucks but I dont really care that much tbh. I'm more angry that now everyone is trying to force me to come out to my parents so I will feel better (like not have extra stress on top of everything). But it's a dumb suggestion imo. They all know what my financial situation and that my parents will NOT react well. So why would you ask that of me? I feel like they just don't want the stress of having to keep the secret and would rather detonate my fucking life than keep a tight lip.

Don't get me wrong I do feel significantly better now that I don't have to hide as much but that is only because of the mostly positive reactions. I know once my parents find out everything will take a massive turn for the worse. But too many damn ppl know now. And 2 can only keep a secret if... subsequently im shitting my pants because WTF. I dont want them to find out from someone else but idk what im going to do if my parents find out and disown me. I am not in a position where I can survive on my own, nor am I emotionally prepared for the inevitable backlash even with the amount of support I've received. But idk what to do. I dont want them to hear from someone else, despite most ppl confirming they wont talk (and I believe them cause they too fear parental wrath and being pegged as the bad influence who turned me lol) but i'm still worried someone might snitch accidentally. Ik no one here can really tell me what to do. Im venting. Idek if any of this shit made sense I'm just so fucking scared. I need sleep and a hug. My heart hasn't stopped racing for days cause my relationship with my folks was already pretty shitty and I was hoping it was finally gonna get better now this...

If anyone has suggestions, kind words or advice I'd really appreciate it.

The music was so good on both levels, and I'm picky about my club music. Both Jyoty and Tromac really did their thing on the decks, and the crowd vibe was amazing, we literally danced until the lights came on. That's the first time I been outside like that in a minute, and now, I'm so excited for Pride! Also, to the Baltimore/DMV people: what Black Pride/June pride events are you looking forward to?

35/Lesbian ♈ from London looking for online friends / pen pals from around the world 🌍

Creative, slightly chaotic, stem/androgynous/human being with too many thoughts, too many playlists, and not enough annual leave 🤣.

I work full time so I may disappear temporarily into the adult void now and then, but I genuinely love meeting new people and building real connections over time. I’m definitely more of a “send random voice notes, memes, music, blurry sky pictures and life updates” type of person.

Into art, various genres of music, travel, Late night conversations, different cultures, documentaries I swear I’ll finish watching, and pretending I’m going to sleep early.

Would be nice to meet open-minded people with good humour and good energy. Bonus points if you use WhatsApp 😂

Who knows, maybe one day we’ll end up randomly meeting somewhere in the world for coffee or food. 💫

Tell me a bit about yourself if you message. Where you’re from, your weird little interests, what song you currently have on repeat, anything really ✨

If you message I will happily send a pic so you know I'm real 😊💯