In highschool I was 130lb, after graduating I began isolating and binge eating extremely and gained 80lb in less than a year. The 80lb gain ensured and gave me even more of a reason not to leave the house.
Since the initial 80lb gain, I’ve lost 60 of it, but still can’t get myself to leave the house, I won’t. I feel disgusting. I feel huge. I feel like a walking build board.
I’m hoping to lose these last 20lb by mid July probably, but I fear that even once I hit 130 again, I won’t go out.
I’ve ignored family, lost all my friends, missed important events, my little cousins can’t even remeber my name. I don’t know how to get out of this cycle. I don’t know why my body is stopping me from living my life. I hate myself immensely and don’t know what to do. I’ve wasted all my youth inside this stupid house, and I’ve become what I feared, a loser.
As a kid you have all these dreams, goals and aspirations. You can’t even imagine yourself struggling. Now I’m struggling. And the person causing my struggle is myself, and I don’t know how to help myself