AITA for being mad at my ex-friends?
Hey Mark! I’ve been watching for some time now and wanted to get the sub’s opinion and maybe even yours if you come across. The friendships themselves are over, so the results don’t really matter. This is a sanity check because I feel crazy even though my other friends and therapist say I’m in the right.
About a month ago, my friend Robin (23F) was having a rough day and started having a mental breakdown over text. All events happened over text. Myself and our other friend Danelle (20F) were trying to talk her through it. Robin brought up smoking to help in this situation. That concerned me, so I tried to encourage a different coping mechanism, saying they could reach out to a mental health hotline or talk to a trusted person in their family. What I didn’t know at the time was that smoking weed helps with this mental health condition and that Robin was prescribed weed. Robin ended up snapping at me over my suggestion saying not to argue with them. Danelle just sat there and watched this happen.
Now Danelle has in the past just watched as other people insulted and verbally attacked me without doing anything or even sometimes making jokes like texting cough or whistling. She apologized for it earlier, but it happened again. I brought it up to her in dms and she insisted that it no one was being rude to me and it was my fault for not knowing weed can help with mental health conditions. I argued that it’s not my job to know what helps Robin with her mental health and that her having a mental breakdown wasn’t an excuse to attack me and that Danelle needs to stop just watching someone takes their aggression out on me. I understand Robin was having a breakdown. But in my eyes you’re responsible for you mental health. It’s not your fault you have it, but you are responsible for the things you say and do even when you’re struggling.
Danelle stopped responding to the messages two weeks ago. I asked Robin what was wrong because I was genuinely worried. Robin ended up chewing me out, calling me an uncaring friend for not knowing weed helps with their condition and told me to ask my therapist about narcissistic personality disorder because I was upset that they took their aggression out on me. I didn’t even finish reading their messages because I found it to be insanely disrespectful that they’re diagnosing me just for 1. trying to help them with the limited information I had 2. not knowing something about their illness and 3. not enjoying being yelled at for trying to help when they came to me and Danelle for support.
Again, the friendship is over no matter what. One friend won’t talk to me and is giving me the cold shoulder and the other is throwing insults and jumping to conclusion. But for peace of mind and to learn for the future, I want to know if I’m the asshole in this situation. Perhaps there really is something I’m missing here.
(Rather not reveal the mental health condition specifically for respect for personal privacy)