u/Inner_Swordfish_5476

I’ve noticed before medication my experience was like my mood would fall away like a your standing on a platform enjoying your day and then very quickly the platform falls off and you fall down.

That’s how it felt for me. And as soon as it would fall off I would be desperate to try and pull it back up. Like I never had control.

I missed my Lamictal this week for one day and noticed that old familiar drop that I forgot about. I guess Lamictal really does stop that.

About a year ago I was referred by my physio to a massage therapist for lower back pain. He had an excellent reputation, so I went in expecting a normal remedial massage.

From the beginning, though, something felt off. The clinic was in a strange, isolated location and the receptionist was extremely cold towards me, glaring at me while I waited. She even stood by the treatment-room door watching me as I walked in.
I later discovered she was the therapist’s wife.

I had also heard of the therapist before because he was related to someone I knew many years ago. I have no idea whether that was relevant, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was some invisible red flag attached to me that I didn’t know about.

When I entered the seperate building there this massage therapist worked from, I sat down and was expecting the usual questions about what was sore etc.

I explained my physio referred me to help with lower back pain. That’s when things became strange.

The therapist started asking me what I wanted him to do. Literally, he said to me “and what would you like me to do?”

rather than assessing my back and providing the treatment I’d been referred for. I became confused and eventually asked if I’d come to the wrong place. He continued to speak to me in a way that I still can’t find the words for. It was like I had gone to a mechanic instead of a massage therapist because he seemed puzzled as to why I was there. Even saying “well I *can* give you a massage, if that’s what you *want*?”

I became increasingly uncomfortable and started crying. I said “have I come to the wrong place!” And said wanted to leave, but instead of simply letting me go, he encouraged me to “sit with” the feeling and started asking me about my emotions and trauma.

The appointment basically turned into an hour of talking about my psychological issues. I never received the massage I’d actually booked and paid for.

I left completely confused. I hadn’t come for trauma therapy. I’d come for a massage.
He was also practising other forms of alternative therapy, and I got the strong impression that this was what he was actually more interested in doing. If I’d booked that, fine. But I hadn’t.

Months later I told another massage therapist what happened and she basically confirmed that the people involved had a reputation for being quite unusual, which made me feel less like I’d imagined the whole thing.

I received a message from the business inviting me back but they had a different receptionist. So I looked them up and discovered the original owner (the man I saw) had apparently sold the business quite abruptly and moved far away.

I obviously don’t know why, but it made me wonder whether my instinct that something was seriously off about the whole place wasn’t entirely in my head.

**That text has brought this whole situation back up and I’m feeling a bit upset today about it. I’d love to hear anyone’s thoughts on what happened and why.**

About a year ago I was referred by my physio to a massage therapist for lower back pain. He had an excellent reputation, so I went in expecting a normal remedial massage.

From the beginning, though, something felt off. The clinic was in a strange, isolated location and the receptionist was extremely cold towards me, glaring at me while I waited. She even stood by the treatment-room door watching me as I walked in.
I later discovered she was the therapist’s wife.

I had also heard of the therapist before because he was related to someone I knew many years ago. I have no idea whether that was relevant, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was some invisible red flag attached to me that I didn’t know about.

When I entered the seperate building there this massage therapist worked from, I sat down and was expecting the usual questions about what was sore etc.

I explained my physio referred me to help with lower back pain. That’s when things became strange.

The therapist started asking me what I wanted him to do. Literally, he said to me “and what would you like me to do?”

rather than assessing my back and providing the treatment I’d been referred for. I became confused and eventually asked if I’d come to the wrong place. He continued to speak to me in a way that I still can’t find the words for. It was like I had gone to a mechanic instead of a massage therapist because he seemed puzzled as to why I was there. Even saying “well I can give you a massage, if that’s what you want?”

I became increasingly uncomfortable and started crying. I said “have I come to the wrong place!” And said wanted to leave, but instead of simply letting me go, he encouraged me to “sit with” the feeling and started asking me about my emotions and trauma.

The appointment basically turned into an hour of talking about my psychological issues. I never received the massage I’d actually booked and paid for.

I left completely confused. I hadn’t come for trauma therapy. I’d come for a massage.
He was also practising other forms of alternative therapy, and I got the strong impression that this was what he was actually more interested in doing. If I’d booked that, fine. But I hadn’t.

Months later I told another massage therapist what happened and she basically confirmed that the people involved had a reputation for being quite unusual, which made me feel less like I’d imagined the whole thing.

I received a message from the business inviting me back but they had a different receptionist. So I looked them up and discovered the original owner (the man I saw) had apparently sold the business quite abruptly and moved far away.

I obviously don’t know why, but it made me wonder whether my instinct that something was seriously off about the whole place wasn’t entirely in my head.

That text has brought this whole situation back up and I’m feeling a bit upset today about it. I’d love to hear anyone’s thoughts on what happened and why.

Something that stood out to me on my second watch was how safe I felt.

But why did I feel safe? Because the filming was done in a slower pace than many shows and movies. They take time to linger.

The didn’t have sex on a mattress on the floor (iykyk) but in clean, pleasant hotel rooms or clean and aesthetically pleasing homes.

They men had good family members who were kind and loving, they didn’t rush intimacy scenes like so many other shows do.

I don’t know if it was just me, but I felt like I caught my breath and slowed down too.

Is anyone seeing what i'm seeing? He's got that mysterious, intelligent and masculine appeal and could do an English accent with ease.

https://preview.redd.it/qhtjthk212kh1.png?width=832&format=png&auto=webp&s=75a59450e09b0312fa06ec94a94745e872719fe4

I only started experiencing this with my luteal phase and pmdd. The rest of the month I can tolerate noise better. It doesn’t feel so invasive the way it does before my period.

The number of times I’ve snapped and had to flee my house in my car screaming broke me.

These morons are so self absorbed and have no awareness of anything outside of their little world, but the ones I’ve seen have been struck with the worst heatwaves and they end up stuck inside or complaining. The world is crumbling and they just carry on as if nothing is wrong.

It’s suspicious how many people chose this ingredient over all others. So this is my conspiracy theory.