Been eyeing these polishes/Cracked for a minute, and finally did it with the stacked Shop app promos going on rn. I think they fluctuate (I was shown $10 and then eventually $15 off, with an additional $15 off at checkout), but wanted to post here in case anyone was waiting for the right time to make an order, too :) Legit can’t believe I got all this for $27 💫
My life has changed so much in just a few weeks that I actually cannot believe it. I matched with a woman on a dating app and we’ve been spending time together, initially as friends, but the vibe between us from the first irl meeting was so intense. It felt natural, flirtatious, and easy, and I was feeling so confident and happy to be walking in public by her side.
We text throughout the day, and have hung out several times since our initial meet up. Fast forward to this week, she took me an event, and on a separate day I went to her place for the first time. YA’LL. She put a show on and we cuddled, and then of course spent the next 6 hours sharing our first kiss, making out, talking, laughing, holding each other. We spoke plainly about our feelings, and about wanting to see where it goes. I’m so blissed out. When I got home early this morning, I looked into the mirror, and genuinely didn’t recognize the happy eyes looking back at me. Was it actually supposed to feel like this all along, be this easy???
My past relationships with men made me so upset, nervous, angry, I always felt tense and on edge, and smoked too much weed whenever I could to get away from my thoughts. I would fantasize about being in a relationship with a woman, and get so upset that it couldn’t be my reality. But it could and will be!!! Free yourself 🫶
My long-term relationship dissolved recently and I feel like I’m on the brink of a new life and self-discovery, but I also feel lost and unsure of what to do.
What do you see? Does anything here reveal why personal relationships, of all kinds, are so hard for me? I’m not close with my family, I’m the “black sheep” for being overly emotional and not allowing them to talk down to me as an adult, and wonder if there’s any insights there. I’ve wanted familial connection so badly my whole life.
Thank you for reading and looking!
Hi, lovelies! What are your Pride plans this month and next, if anything? I’ve been thinking about how to make this month fun and authentic, and there are so many more local Pride events around me than I realized! There’s a craft night that seems fun, and a movie night at the de facto gay bar near me. Going to try and be brave and get out there, at least a couple times. Thought it would be kind of fun to discuss here :)
My brain has been screaming at me for years, like most of my life! I knew that something wasn’t right when in relationships with men, I had to close my eyes during intimacy or turn attempts at kisses into hugs, and felt an underlying resentment that they even wanted to touch me. I’m realizing that I liked their company as friends, we could cut up and do things together, but anything beyond that was complicated. It wasn’t fair to myself or to them and I feel horrible about that. It feels like I should have fully understood and accepted it a lot sooner. All of my fantasies are about women, and I’ve always felt simultaneously happy and deeply jealous when I see women in a relationship together.
I’ve been out to friends/partners as bi since my late teens but knew a lot sooner than that. My upbringing was pretty conservative and homophobic so I felt a lot of shame (from what I see now is internalized homophobia and misogyny) when I realized I liked girls. But my attraction to women is so different than my “attraction” to men, and has only grown as I age. With women it feels so exciting, thrilling, and true, and with men it felt nice to be liked and wanted, but I don’t think I really liked them in a sexual way. Maybe I just wanted to feel accepted? My history with men confuses me in terms of what I “really am”, but when talking with my straight girlfriends, they mostly seem to really enjoy sex with men. They may think a woman is beautiful or hot but they don’t actually desire to be intimate with her. Their reflections on sex with men made me realize I don’t actually feel that way towards them.
Now I’m in my early thirties and can’t live inauthentically anymore. My ex boyfriend and I broke up a few months ago, and it’s like my brain finally has permission to think and desire again, and things feel so clear. I’m in therapy every other week trying to work my issues out and to show up in the truest way for myself and my future girlfriend. There’s no point to this post, but I enjoy reading the stories and perspectives in this space and wanted to get this off my chest. Ty if you read this! 💖 Sending you love and a happy pride from the PNW.