Problem/Goal: I really want to build a relationship with my aunt again and become close with her like before, but I honestly don’t know how to talk to her anymore. I feel shy, intimidated, and guilty, especially because she already helps me and my family so much. I also know I might need help with college expenses soon, but I feel embarrassed asking because she has her own life and future too, and I don’t want to feel like a burden or make her think I’m only talking to her because I need something.
Context:
My aunt and I used to be really close when I was a kid up until she moved to work abroad. When I say we were close, WE WERE. She used to be the person I would go hangout with, she attended my school events, and she and I were basically like an older sister and younger sister despite the huge age gap. Then the pandemic happened and I made a lot of bad decisions and posted some things online that basically ruined my relationship with her.
Recently, we kinda got back on good terms, but it just hasn’t been the same throughout the years. The thing is, she’s still very kind and treats me really well. She gave me laptop worth 70k, an iPhone 13 last year as a graduation gift, buys groceries for us, and helps my mom and me out financially since we aren’t in the best financial state. She even takes me and my cousin shopping for school supplies and splurges on us by buying us Puma shoes.
I’m going to college in a few months taking BS Industrial Engineering, and unfortunately the closest state university that offers my course is really far from home (like 2 hours travel). Because of that, I know I’ll probably need help financially. Me and my mom even argued before because the money she gave me wasn’t enough when I was going to pass my medical results to the university. She told me to just tell my aunt and other relatives that I needed help, but I’m really shy and embarrassed because they already have their own families and responsibilities. I even heard my aunt is planning on starting a family soon, and I don’t want to be the reason she has to halt that because I’m asking for help with school expenses.
At the same time, my relatives and even my mom keep saying that they’re just waiting for me to tell them I need help and to talk to my aunt more, even if it’s just small talk. But I genuinely don’t know how to do that. I’m not good at small talk, especially with adults, and because of our past I feel guilty and scared that she might think I’m being fake suddenly trying to talk to her when college and expenses are coming up. But honestly, I really do miss her and want us to be close again like before.
Previous Attempt:
I tried messaging her a few days ago saying that I wanted to build a relationship with her again and admitted that I don’t know how to talk to adults properly, but after that I still felt lost and didn’t know how to continue the conversation. I got left in read 🥲…and I still haven’t sent a message again T^T