u/Intelligent-Ear-6902

Hola, estoy por desahogo y opinión personal.

Hace alrededor de dos meses mi hermana enfermo, le fallaron los riñones, la dialisaron y poco después le detectaron cáncer en el estómago y estará en tratamiento fuera del país hasta julio que es cuando termina su chimioterapia (si son buenas noticias) bueno mi hermana tiene dos hijos, una niña de 11 años y un niño de 13 y desde que se fue a tratar ellos han estado viviendo conmigo y con mi papá, si tienen papá los niños pero solo los ve en la mañana para llevarlos al Cole y en la noche para dormir, y no ayuda en lo económico con ellos, estamos sacándolos adelante solo yo y mi papá y ya me estoy desgastando muchísimo porque ya no me rinde mi quincena, yo también tengo un hijo de 6 años y un esposo que en verdad no me ayuda ni con los niños porque no le caen bien y ni a mi en lo económico con nuestro hijo, ayer me pregunto mi esposo que cuanto tiempo creo seguir aguantando a los niños de mi hermana, la verdad yo podría seguir así toda la vida si llegarán a empeorar las cosas, pero yo sé que si se alarga más este cuidado, terminaría con mi matrimonio porque a él no le caen bien mis sobrinos, el dice que de pequeño ya pasó por esto y por esa razón no quiere revivirlo y que no me puede ayudar porque no es familia directa y no tiene derecho de reprender a los niños cuando sea necesario, no quiero sentir que abandono a mis sobrinos pero tampoco me gustaría sentir que abandono a mi esposo

Hi, i'm an ESL teacher working in Mexico and married to a narc husband, please don't judge, but yesterday I found lice in my hair in the morning and didn't go to school to make sure I took care of the problem, because I stayed, my husband's alarm phone didn't go off supposably and got angry cause he woke up late, when he asked me why I didn't go to work and I told him he got even more angry saying that how could that happen, and to tell him who I got the lice from, and where it happened, I work with over 120 children in this school, some come close and hug me, some I just get close enough to check homework and stuff, but he didn't believe it was from a child that I got it from, insinuating I got it from another man (I have never cheated on him, and cut off all communication with male friends once we got married) but hes made me feel so nasty and disgusting, when we went out yesterday night a fly flew close to me and said " it looks like insects are attracted to you" when we got home he said that he won't be using anything I've used before from now on because he has shoulder length hair and doesn't want to get it from me, he didn't even want to get close to me to give me a kiss, Im usually very careful with this stuff, I've been an ESL teacher for 10 years and never gotten lice until now and I only found two lice in my hair, I spent all day combing it and nothing else came out so I'm pretty sure I got rid of them but he says that he'll be taking his distance what's left of the month just to make sure.

Hey i'm sorry to bother any of y'all but I just need to get it out, I've basically been left without friends to really talk about this so I can't vent in person.

I'm so tired of myself, now I feel like such A coward, me and my husband weren't talking for like 2 months, we were still living under the same roof cause he wouldn't leave although I asked him to ( it's the house my dad left me so he basically needs to leave) we weren't talking cause I found out he was asking girls out just to try out his new motorcycle. Once I told him about this he said "well you never wanna go out with me anymore" but anyway last Friday we spoke and begged me to forgive him, I gave in and I forgave him, we were ok for two days and yesterday which was mothers day he took me out to eat, he had a little too much to drink, insisted on driving and was going super fast, he kept making jokes that if I didn't give him a kiss in that moment that he was going to find some other girl to do it, I felt so sick to my stomach when he said that, I told him you really shouldn't be making those jokes given that we just reconciled from that kind of problem, he went off saying that he knew that when we had intimacy I was thinking about someone else, that hes so stupid for believing in me and I'm so frustrated cause those are the exact words i feel towards him and I know it sounds crazy but sometimes feel like he's reading my mind and turning that against me, yesterday he lost his cellphone and is saying that I was the one that's responsible for him losing it cause he told me to take care of it and I don't remember him saying it and honestly I haven't really been in the mood to have intimacy, yesterday he said well "I'll just wait 2 more months to have some again" when we did "it" after reconciling with him I honestly didn't have the desire he just got on top of me and started insinuating, I just closed my eyes and forced myself to really enjoy it.

I'm a 32 year old female married to a narc in Mexico city, about a month ago I gained courage and told him we should separate cause this wasn't working out. After this he completely stopped talking to me.

Yesterday our 6 year old son told him we might be leaving back to the u.s, he broke the ice treatment and confronted me saying that if I took his son there would be big problems, that he would've expected that I at least spoke up about this and did things the right way, that he couldn't believe me anymore that I'm just like my mom and he should've known I was a fake since the beginning, after all of this said he started taking about our relationship asking why I wanted this after so many years of being together, I told him the whoooole truth, I told him about the girl I found messages with, what he responded to that was "you never want to go out with me anymore, but I didn't go out with her I just told her but we didn't go out" he started crying, he hugged me, told me to not leave him, at the beginning I said "no, that won't be a good idea for us being together again" he literally stopped crying, like tears disappeared right when I said that ( I mean I'm not even able to do that, when I start crying I can't stop just like that) he said "ok, well you were just teasing me then, your so cold and heartless" he started talking nonsense again and I confessed to him that I haven't been happy for a while, that I needed space, cause Im not happy anymore, Like I can't feel that sense of happiness in my mind, or in my body I mean I don't even have sex appeal or desire towards him nor anyone, I can't find happiness in anything that im doing, he hugged me again and begged for a second chance, that's when I gave in, I broke down crying and said yes, I'll give another chance, I was so angry this morning at myself for giving in, but also got me thinking "do I want to leave the country cause I think I'll be happy there, is he really the problem or is the problem in me? Should I find happiness in me before leaving the country

Hi, me and my husband are currently separating, I mean I told him this a month ago and he hasn't left but I still stand my ground. I got tired of all the abuse, built up my courage and told him (thought I was gonna vomit, I was so nervous)

for a little more context, we live in Mexico city. I'm a u.s citizen, he is Mexican, I found a job 6 years ago as an English teacher and it pays $4,500 every 15 days which is the equivalent to $200 dollars every 15 days, sometimes I don't make ends meet.cause everything is so expensive and have to make last what I have at home

Well Today when he came home he saw that I had used some of the detergent that he bought, I didn't finish it I just used a little to clean my 6 year old sons uniform, he got mad telling me to not touch his things, he doesn't help and never has helped me economically, I buy shampoo, body soap, hand soap, food, hair gel. I've never told him to not use any of that and it makes me feel bad that I can't use just a little detergent and for his son's uniform I mean not even for mine, I feel so fatigued, so exhausted. I know I'm the one that told him for us to separate but if he hasn't left, I think he shouldn't be bothered by me using the detergent. I told him about this and he just nodded, and kept looking at his phone, I really don't want him to feel like I'm kicking him out but I don't know what else to do with him

Hola, hace como dos meses que no tengo nada de nada con mi esposo, ya que me engaño y siento asco al pensar que estuve en Otra mujer y despues conmigo y temo que me va a dar algo feo, ya le Pedi divorcio pero aún no acepta.

Bueno hace como una semana me empezó a bajar flujo blanco que me baja a cualquier momento raro del día y es incómodo, osea eso me pasaba cuando tenía relaciones con el porque su esperma tardaba en salir completa pero ahorita que no he tenido nada nada nada no se a que se deba, es incómodo

Alguien más le pasa o ha pasado?

Can't help but think that the song love in the dark from Adele is meant for narcissists wives or exes.

I love to listen to songs and sometimes relate to them and this one song has made me feel like I'm in the song.

I've been married for almost 9 years to a narc (didn't realize he was one until a couple of months back) I told him we should separate, he said he would leave on may 1st and hasn't done so yet, already acting as if nothing happened and nothing was said, still giving the silent treatment though. He always does this, just waits until I give in and apologize to him, but I can't keep living like this, I feel like such a coward most of the time cause I can't get the words out of my mouth when I'm in front of him to tell him to finally leave.

But I'm done with this marriage, like the song says

"I hope to live, and not to survive"

Estoy muy molesta, no tengo muchas amigas entonces escribiré aquí.

Mi esposo ha estado saliendo a correr toda esta semana, mi hijo ayer quiso acompañarlo y el le dijo que no ya que aún no hacía la tarea, yo dije está bien ya mañana la hará más temprano, hoy llegó de la escuela lo deje ver un poco de tv y después se puso a hacer la tarea, muy emocionado dijo la voy a terminar porque me voy a hacer ejercicio con mi papi ( tiene 6 años) hoy llegó mi esposo y mi hijo le dijo hoy vas a correr el dijo si, mi hijo dijo te puedo acompañar? Y el le dijo no, porque aún no te quitas tu uniforme, a ver si mañana te pones las pilas y en vez de ver la televisión primero haces la tarea, comes y te cambias y te llevo, mi hijo dijo que si pero se escondió y empezó a llorar porque esperaba mucho pasar ese tiempo con el. Cuando mi esposo lo vio llorar le dijo que no llores realmente, no quieres salir conmigo solo quieres salir a pasiar.

Yo entiendo que intenté enseñarle algo con esto pero mi hijo casi no lo ve más que en las noches y si quiere salir con EL pero mi esposo simplemente no comprende y me frustra mucho, mi esposo puede llegar a ser muy duro, es de los que llega a casa en moto y mi hijo ya sabe el sonido de su moto entonces cuando lo escucha de inmediato deja de hacer lo que está haciendo, si está viendo la tele, la apaga. Si está jugando con primos, se mete a la recamara y se queda quieto o se pone a hacer algo. Pero mi hijo aún así le tiene mucho cariño

Hi, I'm looking for a men's point of view on this, just to make sure if I'm the one exaggerating or just going crazy.

Me and my husband have been living in Mexico since we got married and currently living in my father's house (we go halfsies on all the utilities) I mostly give my dad mine and my husband part of the utilities from my earned money, my husband always says that I should be responsible to remind him about what we need to pay and how much ( from my dad I'm used to the man taking the first step and looking for what needs to be paid) I mean i don't think I need to remind him that we need electricity and water

I've also always paid for groceries myself cause he just won't take the step to say "here's some money for groceries" or take me for them I mean I live nearby a grocery store so I'm not bothered in walking but I think it'd be nice to have my husband for once coming.

For our son, I'm the one in charge of getting him ready for school, he won't get up to help me wake him up or dress him, I buy all the school supplies and uniforms myself cause constantly need to remind him every need and I just don't like reminding him as if he were a child

He has said that when we get our home he won't let my mother nor my sister in, if I want I could go visit but they can't come to me, he doesn't really like them much

Also my sister got sick a month ago and left her two kids for me to take care of, he got mad and gave me the silent treatment cause they're not my responsibility.

I mean am I in the wrong here?

Do most men think this way?

I think a lot about leaving him, one because I fear that I'll be alone for the rest of my life, I don't have any interests anymore, I don't have any hobbies, all I do is work and go home. No man likes a woman without interests or hobbies, I'm aging as well I'm 32 years old but look 40.

I don't know if any of you have felt this way before. But its over whelming to think about this given that time is not stopping

I used to have interests, I used to love to write, poems and stories, I mean that really gave me some relief, but he started mocking what I wrote and lost interest in, I used to like to cook new recipes and look for flavours, but he started saying that he was going to start buying his own food by going to restaurants and all and decided to just cook what's necessary and fast for him to not get stressed cause its taking long, I used to play mixed flag football (boys and girls played) he never told me to quit it but since he got jealous often I decided to leave the game and now I haven't really done exercise in more than 8 years and don't think I'd catch up. I'm not wanting to victimize myself I just want a point of view, have any of your husbands been like this? Did your interest eventually come back?

On the other hand I do cause my 6 year old son is starting to act like him little by little and I don't want him to eventually choose him over me.

Hi, I'm a 32 year old female that's currently in separation from my 36 year old narc, we've been married for 9 years. About 3 weeks ago I FINALLY got the guts to tell him I wanted to separate, it was hard cause I didn't know what reaction he would get but what gets me very confused is that I don't feel anything, I mean what's wrong with me? I'm not able to feel happiness, nor sadness, I don't feel ANYTHING, I haven't been able to cry and I also haven't really been wanting to tell family about what's going on

BTW, although I told him this 3 Weeks ago, he said he would move out on may 1st, yesterday may 2nd was the first day he did not come back home, BUT he didn't take anything. He left his charger, clothes