I'm Making an AI Fantasy Series. Does This Opening Work?
I'm working on a new AI-created series called "The Monsters' Lawyer", and I'd love to get your feedback on the opening of the first episode.
The story is an isekai about a law student who, during an exam, comes across a question that's actually a magical contract. After signing it, she's transported to a fantasy world where she must defend monsters and fight for their rights. The series will blend comedy, fantasy, and action as she tries to reason with monsters, earn their trust, and convince them to cooperate, all while making enemies among the humans who oppose her efforts to protect them.
I'd really appreciate your honest feedback on the opening, as screenwriting is one of my weaker areas, and I'm starting to have doubts about whether the beginning actually works. I'd love to hear some outside perspectives.
How does the pacing feel? Are there any boring moments or parts where you lose interest? Do the dialogue and characters work? Does the opening make you want to keep watching?
I'm also considering adding a cold open of about one minute before the current opening. It would show a talking cat imprisoned in a cage, about to be sold in a fantasy world. The cat escapes by rapidly shapeshifting into different creatures while a mage, a knight, and a dwarf try to capture it. During the chase, it steals a magical stone from the mage and uses it to travel to our world in search of the best lawyer it can find.
Do you think this cold open would make the beginning more engaging and give the story a clearer sense of direction? The downside is that it would reveal the cat's true identity right away, removing some of the mystery.
The scene is still a work in progress. I still need to finish the sound design, record and add the final performances from real voice actors, and polish a few other details.
I'd really appreciate any honest criticism or suggestions!