Need advice on what to do
Hey guys, I’m looking for advice from literally anyone else who has gone through a break up, whether you got back with that ex or didn’t. I just need something to help guide me at this point.
For context, me and my gf ended after a year long relationship. Leading into the break up, things were very distant between us, and it eventually led into a bad break up. (If context is needed for why or how we broke up, lmk and I’ll put it in the replies). After our break up, we stayed in contact, mainly on my part, because I couldn’t come to terms with it. We agreed that we would stay in contact until she decided on whether or not she could find it in herself to continue with the relationship.
During this time, it was torture talking to her just like a friend when I didn’t want that, I wanted my gf back. She didn’t like that, which caused an argument over how she didn’t want to talk about a relationship and how I said that everything is completely fixable, nothing is making sense and yadayada. Mainly, I think the part that’s killing me the most is that she broke it off over text, and I wanted nothing more than to have a conversation in person, to which she denied, and I haven’t seen her since. Deep down, although it may be stupid and completely delusional, I think if we look at each other face to face we would have a better understanding over everything instead of just text messages.
So eventually, after me constantly trying to talk about us and asking to see her and meet up in person, she grew sick of it and blocked me. Before she blocked me, she said things like how she wasn’t ready for a relationship, fell out of love with me, and that she knew things were fixable but she just didn’t want to fix it. It hurt me a lot. I felt completely defeated. After she blocked me, I pretty much just tried to move on and hang out with friends and all that, as most of my heartbreak happened after our break up, about 2 months ago.
Where is stuck at is now. Deep down, I know this girl and I know how she pushes people away when she’s hurt, kind of like a “I’ll deal with my problems myself and no one else can help me” way. Most of the times I wanted her to open up, I had to keep asking and re assuring her I’m here for her. So deep down, over these last 3 weeks of no contact, I have been killing myself to not send a text. On top of this, the week after she blocked me, I realized that she had unblocked me in texts.
I may just be starting to get delusional, but in a way I think she wants me to reach out or something. I didn’t reach out when I initially realized I was unblocked because I didn’t want her to give me the same response as last time, and instead wanted to give her space and see if she could figure herself out. But now, in truth, I think maybe it’s time to reach back out? I really don’t know anything, other than no contact is just absolutely destroying me right now. As delusional as it may be, I did see some tik toks she posted that kind of hinted towards me? I’m not sure, but in all honesty, would it be too stupid to reach out after 3 weeks of no contact or is this something that may have the slightest chance of going forward?
Like I said before, maybe it’s just me struggling with never seeing each other in person and I just need some type of closure because of how much was invested into this relationship and so I only feel this way to try and get that closure, but all that does is then again beg the question on whether or not I should break no contact or just bury this entire thing and put it behind me.