u/Inter_Netti

The following is an example that happened to me minutes ago.

I made a mistake at work. Not a big deal, and very easily fixable. One of the people above me (not my boss, but still someone who can technically order me around) saw it. We usually get along really well and often laugh a lot together at work. This person also gets angry easily, especially when mistakes are made that he considers stupid.

At the time when he sees my mistake, I'm at home, so he texts me (I'm paraphrasing and translating from Norwegian) "WHO DID THIS!? (My name), (coworker 1's name), (coworker 2's name) WHO MADE THIS MISTAKE!?"

I knew it was me, as he'd attached a picture of said mistake. So I owned up to it, and replied "My bad, coworker 1 tried to talk me out of it". This is true, and I said it like this so the others wouldn't get yelled at too.

He responded with "NEVER do this again."

Me: "Alr"

My problem is this. I hate him now. Why did he have to be so rude about it? Could he not have tackled this in a calm and peaceful manner? I could hear the yelling through the screen. If it was me, I'd kindly tell the person, hey, this is wrong, can you fix it, or not do it again? Or something. That should be enough.

Because of this I want to give him the cold shoulder and show him that I'm mad at him. I KNOW this is childish, but I want him to know that I think he sucks and that I hate him now. If he'd spoken to me in real life I know for a fact I'd want to punch him. I wouldn't, because I'm a coward and could possibly lose my job, which I love. But man, I really, really hate him now.

I react this same way every time someone gets mad at me or yells at me. Even though I love the person yelling. My grandma, my dad. It took days before I could act normal around them again, and sometimes I still think about those instances and get really mad about it again. I feel like I never truly forgive these things, even when/if I'm the one at fault. How can I grow out of this stupid, childish mindset?