u/Interesting-Flow-739

Okay, I won't lie...am an attention deprived girl who loves getting attention. But that is so short term isn't it? But for the long term thing do I need to wait for the love of my life who will truly love and care for me, who I don't know if he even exists or not?? I tried that for some days, getting attention from random people on internet and honestly yes, I enjoyed it while it was new.. but you know, those conversations don't last long... And I feel empty again.I have hobbies, I bingewatch Kdramas.. listen to songs..but.. amidst all this, idk I want love (childish ik) and at the same time Ik I won't get it like this, but this is the easiest thing to do... To connect with people online without revealing my identity and being whatever I want to which I can even speak of in reality to a complete stranger. It just feels like... I am.. idk.. who's me? What do I really want? And how can I get it? I know how men are, but at the same time I can't make myself dislike them as a whole. I am just sick!

Okay, so I was enjoying it. I loved men complimenting me, my body.. I love to listen to their deep voice and honestly, I still do. I am still new to this, I was exploring but I don't want to anymore. I was enjoying it, really enjoying it but now, It just feels like, am doing it for people who don't even think of me aside from that space. It feels like the dom is getting more pleasure than me, and when I do feel it, the pleasure feels temporary, may be because it is temporary. I loved it when my dom used to say you are such a slut but now the same thing feels like a burden. I don't want to do this anymore but I still have that desire in me.. I don't want to be a slut but I feel so attention deprived. May be yes, I just want attention and recognition... I don't know. How to fill this void that is building in me? I don't want to indulge in this out of desperation but am feeling so touch deprived. Does anyone else has gone through this phase and regulated themselves through it? Please suggest something. It's not like, I don't have options, I do have, but none of them feels like I have to have it. It is more like, I will get their attention more than ohh they look interesting.