u/Interesting-Iron-512

im so frustrated. I just want to live my own life. sorry for this angry rant.

nutshell - drinking wasn’t too bad when I was a kid. parents got bad when I was about 18. my older brothers failed to launch and have been alcoholics since they were teens. ones a heroin addict. my mom drinks to cope with it all. it’s so messed up.

they all live together. it’s a shitshow. an absolute shitshow.

no one is functioning anymore. my parents are far too old to work. my dad has had a terrible year with non alcohol relaTed falls and had several surgeries and nursing home stays.

my brothers can’t get their shit together. they don’t work. just expect my parents to bankroll them. parents can’t afford that.

I moved away. to save myself. the guilt eats me alive. my brother texts me stuff that just makes me feel like shit. how I don’t love my parents etc.

im currently facing health challenges - doctor suspects MS. I have young children. i work full time.

im so overwhelmed. I’m so mad that my life has been worrying and fixing… worrying and fixing. I don’t want to worry anymore and I don’t want to try to fix shit they won’t fix themselves.

the brother is mad at me because they don’t have food. I don’t understand why everything becomes my fault. my brother called me when my mom was drunk and I had to hear the insane yelling in the background. it re-traumatizes me.

I’m fed up. it all feels like too much. why can’t I just live my life and deal with my own problems?

i currently travel full time in an RV. we have been doing this for almost 4 years. my husbands job requires this and he would need to quit if we stopped. we love this lifestyle. when we hit the road, a big part of the decision was because I was very depressed and burnt out and not thriving in the standard American dream.

my parents are not doing well however. I love them but they are alcoholics. my dad has fallen twice this year requiring surgeries. my brothers live with them. one is an addict that only makes things worse and is an absolute nightmare. they don’t want to do anything about it as far as kicking him out, etc. the other brother has periods where he’s able to be helpful and periods he’s not due to his own mental health and alcohol addiction struggles.

it’s very difficult for me to be around. I feel sad for my parents and at the same time it’s very hard for me personally to be around all that.

I don’t know what to do. I dislike my hometown and don’t do well in that climate. but I feel like an evil monster for not being there.

they have some money but won’t spend it. that part is confusing and complicated.