u/InterestingTip5612

That utterly sinking feeling. Getting into bed at night hoping this will be a night that we have sex, everything has been great it seems all day and all week so far. Like you’d expect it to happen if one of you asked. Only you know she won’t ask or initiate.

So you do already knowing what’s gonna be likely said. You have to psych yourself up just to even ask only to be reassured in your “fear” that once again it’s not happening yet again.

I know it happens for a lot of us here it just absolutely sucks. And I’m like a lamb to the slaughter. I know what’s gonna happen but I keep going back and asking if we can be intimate together like a sucker.

I hate this feeling.

That utterly sinking feeling. Getting into bed at night hoping this will be a night that we have sex, everything has been great it seems all day and all week so far. Like you’d expect it to happen if one of you asked. Only you know she won’t ask or initiate.

So you do already knowing what’s gonna be likely said. You have to psych yourself up just to even ask only to be reassured in your “fear” that once again it’s not happening yet again.

I know it happens for a lot of us here it just absolutely sucks. And I’m like a lamb to the slaughter. I know what’s gonna happen but I keep going back and asking like a sucker.

Also if you have advice or whatnot it’s welcome. Didn’t see a flair option that fit exactly.

Wife (38LLF) and I (40HLM) have been married for a few years now but after our wedding the dead bedroom started pretty quick. She said that her libido has been shot and was due to weight gain. She and I both worked hard on that as I had out on weight during the pandemic. I got to my goal weight and she’s well on her way too. I thought maybe it was the worry about having kids (I already had kids from prior marriage) so after a long talk I had the “snip”. Still that hasn’t made a dent.

We had gone on a cruise for our honeymoon about 8 months after our wedding (timing) and it was a whole “we are going to do it so much on this trip!” (Spoiler alert we did not) 8 days and we didn’t do it once.

Sex happened but it slowly stopped prior to our wedding which I chalked up and assumed was due to wanting save it for our wedding night. I didn’t see it for what it was though that it was just ending in general.

We got maybe 4-8 months in between. It sucks so much. She tells me she wants to do it but then it’s always something. Outside of this you’d think we have the best and perfect marriage. We get along (again outside of the DB) so well and everyone comments on it. When we do it though I’m so into it but I ask her what she wants and it’s “whatever you want”. Like I want her to tell me what would feel good for her and she just goes all vanilla and into it but won’t say what she wants. I do the stuff I think she likes but it just feels very vanilla. I want to explore with her but it’s like “I finally got this moment to have sex with her again” so I just roll with it. It’s so far and few between and I’ve gotten so into my head any other time I ask if we can have sex only to get shot down.

I just don’t know what to do anymore.