u/Interesting_Long2029

A 23F girl I’m talking to from hinge is INTJ. They have barely asked me any questions, but I’m not sure if that’s because my curiosity has basically assumed an interviewer role or because they never will and they like being asked questions and this is comfortable for them and that’s the ideal dynamic? What’s a healthy dynamic between ENFP and intj? How do you connect with each other? What was it like to get to know each other?

I treasure my ENFJ friends, but sometimes I can’t figure out how to get you guys to talk. I will fill the silence, I have lots to say, and my ENFJs enjoy listening to - BUT I ENJOY LISTENING TOO! I have one ENFJ friend who is so NORMAL. We’ve been friends for a year. I’ve psychoanalyzed myself a lot because I’ve been through a lot of trauma and had to heal. So I love psychology. But she hasn’t really been through trauma, so she listens interestedly and says she loves our chats but doesn’t contribute a whole lot. She got excited once talking about a video she wants to make, but there’s not much there to talk about anymore. But it seems like she has such a consistent (boring) life. She travels, so I always ask her about her trip after, and then she finishes. There’s no inner impulse to share it seems. She has to be invited to. So I try. But it seems my curiosity keeps hitting dead ends (she answers and it’s hard to see where to go from there). She never yaps. We talk about dating. Try restaurants. Go shopping. She said she likes giving her opinion, especially about things that aren’t touchy/hot topics (the less touchy, the stronger her opinion). But I don’t know how to get her to share her mind. A few of those questions just fell flat. Maybe she doesn’t have that many deep thoughts? I’m at a loss. Some help would be appreciated.