It’s clear that I can get my needs meet and she needs time to finically prepare but she isn’t flexible on a lot. I really want it to work but it’s only been a month and I’m worried that this dynamic is the norm and not just a temporary time.
I said I would normally not feel so weird about it but it’s a special day and she promised she then call tomorrow but then also forgot she has another event for family again tomorrow. I understand it’s month 1 but it’s just doesn’t sit well with me.
I need some advice.
So I have CPTSD, ADHD, anything that usually combos with that and live with a transphobic parents. My GF has a similar family issue and we do not live very close (1hr & 30min minimum) and for the summer she mentioned we couldn’t call and likely not be able to see each in person. Texting is extremely draining for me and triggers my CPTSD a lot. Like the amount of mood swings I have had the 3 days home already it insane and it’s bringing back suicidal thoughts. I’m trying to get a job to get myself out of the house so I can have distractions but i already this exhausted from trying to manage the connection it feels inevitable that it won’t last the summer.
We’ve talked about ideas about quality time but most of the ideas are separate things and we just text about it. I can’t drive to her town because it’s hostile. Worst part is that it will likely be similar during the semester since I have an internship and writing class for my program and the weekends will likely be work for her. Meaning it’s texting again.
I know a lot of this is on me to figure out but is there anything I can do about it? Is there anything we could talk about that wouldn’t imply this is happening and that would help continue the relationship? Calls alone help a lot but we can’t do that. Just waiting for a text feels totally exhausting. I do have small things to look forward to like housing sitting for a friend and a trip with my best friend but it’s sooo hard right now because I feel so anger constantly and no matter what I do it’s not helping. Texting is super dry too most of the time and it just feels like I’m not talking with her at all.