u/International_Day611

Can someone experienced in defeating Omega help me farm the modules please? Need 2-3 modules for armor set and wep. Not doing savage unless needed. Any help is appreciated thanks!

As the title read I just need to vent don’t need any reassurance I know what’s going on I think? The feeling of being in denial and the false attraction has just been feeling too real the last couple of days tbh pretty sure it’s all part of a spiral but still feels too real. I haven’t been panicking or letting myself freak out over the thoughts and shit cause that doesn’t solve anything at all. I’ve just been letting this shit do whatever with the hopes of just getting over it but honestly it feels like it just made the false attraction and the intrusive thoughts get worse. I have accepted the fact that I will have to deal with these thoughts and feelings for the time being at least but it just feels like I’m accepting being gay. Worst of all it made my history of bad luck with women alongside with the insane disconnect and apathy towards women that im pretty sure is from my porn addiction that im trying to beat(no pun intended lol) like 100x worst. Honestly i feel like i was never attracted to women and i was just liked them cause of porn and that my “natural attraction” is towards the same gender, What ever that means. My idle mind just goes immediately to this shit and tbh correct me if I’m wrong but I don’t think even gay people think about being gay this much. It just feels like a losing battle at this point like the only thing I need to do to make all of this stop is to just “accept” it and live this way even when I don’t want to and it probably won’t go away either. Feels like I’m losing the will to fight it to and that one day I’m just gonna say “fuck it this is who I am”. I don’t care about these as much as what feels like a lack of attraction for women tbh I want that spark back so bad, I can deal with the rest of this shit as long as I can love a woman tbh and that just feels impossible at the moment. Idk I’m just gonna try to live my life the way I’ve been living it the past 27 years and just see what happens I guess. Feel free to use this post as place to vent if you need to, I can’t and won’t offer any reassurance but I’ll probably be able to relate in some capacity.

27 yr old M, been addicted to porn since elementary school. Decided to really try to quit porn after I had some very unfortunate encounters with women that made me find out I had PIED and performance anxiety. Attempting to quit porn created a serious disconnect/apathy with women. This triggered my SO-OCD which is a complete mind fuck, I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. I don’t want to get into what it involved but it doesn’t help with the porn addiction as it makes it hard to not compulsively watch porn and masturbate to check to see if I’m still straight. Thankfully I talked to actual professionals and have been doing what I need to do to deal with this. But man it still sucks really bad. Long story short everyone in this subreddit should stop watching porn but anyone with any type of OCD or has any type of OCD-like symptoms should definitely stay the hell away from porn, it has the capacity to really fuck your life up if you’re not careful. Hopefully this helps someone out there. Thank you to anyone that reads this.

Hey 27 year old heterosexual male, had a porn addiction for the most part of my life ever since stumbling onto it in elementary school. Been dealing with HOCD for about 5/6 months now started when I had a really bad anxiety/panic attack when I was binge drinking one night and an intrusive thought of “What if I’m gay” popped up. This was extremely distressing due to unfortunate encounters I had with women where I had some erectile issues probably due to performance anxiety and PIED. I’m pretty sure the porn addiction has created a severe disconnection with women outside of sexual desire for them and the HOCD has hooked onto that disconnect and is using it as evidence that I’m not really straight. When I can’t feel the groinal response I typically get from them now I get really anxious and the OCD makes me think “what if I thought about men” and of course it sends the groinal response I don’t want due to anxiety and me hyper focusing on my groin. Now a lot of the times when I think about being with a woman I get this intense feeling of anxiety that’s feels like immense doubt that is really hard to get over, it makes me feel like I won’t get an erection and/or I don’t even want to be with women in the first place. I have been diagnosed with OCD and fully understand I have a really bad porn addiction, I have been doing all the things to stop the mental compulsions and learned to sit with the uncertainty and anxiety, trying my best of staying away from porn of course. But man is it really hard, the OCD makes it feel like if I’m not anxious over these thoughts and feelings then I must be accepting them which I know is back spiking. Long story short STAY AWAY FROM PORN IF YOU ARE DEALING WITH THIS. It makes this illness 100x harder to deal with, honestly I envy you guys that don’t have to deal with a porn addiction. Just wanted to vent really quick thank you to anyone that reads and can relate.