u/Intrepid_Error4023

So, I had my hair cut short for a really long time. Like, nearly a guy’s cut. Think of Milo from Disney’s Atlantis. Due to this, I kind of just used whatever I thought was healthy enough for my hair.

Now, I’ve been growing my hair out for probably 2ish years. I’ve experimented with a bunch of different shampoos and conditioner, a couple being Herbal Essence, Native, and Redken’s Frizz Dismiss. I wash my hair every other day but it is colored blue at the moment.

With longer hair, I’ve realized that I think my hair might actually be wavy! I always thought it was straight, but I am seeing a lot of volume and wave with the healthier my hair gets. Although, my waves are not full force, so I’m kind of wondering how I can get it to be that way since right now it’s kind of mild? I just took the test and ordered a couple of things off of Prose for wavy hair and will be getting some every month. But in case this isn’t good enough, what would you guys suggest that I use for my wavy hair? I really just did Prose because it was the first thing I thought of, so any tips would be awesome!

First before going into the AITAH, I need to go over some important details first.

I (22F) live with my boyfriend (22M) probably about 30 minutes away from my mom and stepdad. My stepdad is currently battling thyroid cancer and MRSA pneumonia and is in and out of the hospital. Apparently, this has been going on since March and I wasn’t made aware of it until the beginning of April. My mom, who has a very extensive psychiatric history, tried to kill herself and landed herself in the hospital with Acute Liver Failure.

Luckily, my mother is on a steady road to recovery and made a turnaround. The doctor said that she is quite literally a miracle, because they did not expect her to live after taking a whole bottle of Tylenol on top of two other medications. She is currently in a physical rehab and has been for about a week now. My step-sister (42F) and step-brother (30M) have been taking care of their dad while I’ve been taking care of my mom.

My sister, for reference, lives out of state. She battles with her own mental health from time to time because she severely struggles from PTSD from her biological mom. She flew in towards the beginning of April before everything with my mom happened and before my dad started tanking (I try not to refer to them as step-family so I’ll be referring to them as just bro/sis/dad/etc) as severely as he was.

I was told today that my mom will likely be getting out of rehab soon, and she has the option of physical therapy or a home health nurse. But the catcher here is that my mom activates my sister’s PTSD. My mom is very manipulative and I’m aware of how bad it is… but I didn’t know that my sister was going to potentially jump ship if my mom came home and started freaking out.

Basically, my sister told me today on the phone that mom can come home, but she will not be her sitter. Which is fine, I never expected her to be! But she also followed it up by telling me that she doesn’t know how long she would be able to be around her, because she doesn’t know how she’s going to act. My brother said that he would leave with her, despite when my sister leaving a week ago for her mental health, he was scared she wasn’t going to come back to help him with everything.

I guess I basically just feel selfish, but I feel like I’m torn between getting my mom help (which I planned to anyway) or my family completely abandoning me if my mom acts up. I can’t take care of my little brother (20M) by myself, because I do not have the funds. They are primarily taking care of him because he has autism and is high functioning, but he struggles a lot with day to day life. He is enrolled through his high school on a work-to-life program type of thing where he gets real world experience through school, and he might even start receiving disability through the state.

I think I’m ultimately torn because I don’t think I can do this by myself, but I also know how much mental health matters. AITAH for wanting them to stay regardless of whether or not I decide for mom to physically get help first or for her to get mental health?