Found out my [22F] bf [22M] has been lying to me for 2 years
My bf and I have been dating for 4 years, living together for 1 and a half. Last night, he was on the game with his friends drinking. I was asleep, but he woke me up when he came into the bedroom very drunk and asked “am I an evil person?”. I was confused why he asked that and told him no. He laid down next to me and told me that he has something to tell me but he’s not sure if I’ll be able to forgive him. Immediately, my mind was racing. I asked him to tell me what it is but he kept dodging it. I texted his sister to ask if she knew anything about it, she said no and that he probably just drank too much. I left it at that and went back to sleep.
So today at work he woke up around lunch time and I called him because I was still concerned. I asked him what he meant by that, he went silent for a few moments, then asked if I remembered that time 2 years ago when he went to his brother’s birthday party. His brother accused him of doing drugs to their mother and my bf denied it profusely, even repeatedly telling me about the situation and telling me how crazy his brother was and that he was so confused why his brother would say that. When I said I do remember that, he confessed that he did coke that night with his brother. My heart dropped right away for two reasons, 1 because I told him from the beginning that hard drugs (anything except weed, nicotine, and alcohol) are a deal breaker for me. 2 because I just realized he has been lying to my face for two whole years.
I was shocked and didn’t know what to say. Eventually, I asked him what else he’s been lying to me about. Has he cheated on me? Has he done something worse? He kept saying “I’m trying to think” every time I asked but didn’t really give me a solid answer. He said no to cheating on me and to doing coke more than once, but how am I supposed to believe him? He’s been lying for two years, obviously he wouldn’t mind lying some more. He told me that he feels like shit because he hates lying, which made me laugh because of the irony. I told him for years that he’s too good at lying and I hate when he does it to me (which at that time were only white lies) and he would tell me that he will stop, only to just now find out that he’s been lying for years. I got home from work a couple hours ago and he’s been sleeping since. I don’t know if I should start packing or wait til he wakes up and talk with him. We still live together and would have to notify our landlord that one of us is moving (our lease is on a month to month basis). I already have somewhere to go lined up but I’d have to quit my job because this place is in another state. Idk what to do.